I am not enjoying parenting during lockdown

[IvyDE4]

Hello everyone,
Please be nice - I already feel terrible writing this, but need to get it out. My little one is 3. Prior Covid I enjoyed being a parent - I work in leisure centre so I spent days around friends/colleagues taking my child swimming / soft play walk around, Kept him in creche for hour to do workout ....
since March I am not enjoying parenting- my work still closed - no pools or soft plays open and I’m so bored just going park and checking my watch when it’s gonna be a sleep time . I was happy when nurseries opened in September so I can have some time for myself and my child can socialize. Well, today they called that nursery is closed - confirm Covid case. I am crying to my pillow how I’m gonna handle next few weeks now when I got a little bit of me back. My DH helps a lot but I still feel overwhelmed. I feel like a terrible mom... anyone else feels this way?

Embrace the kindness. Ignore the haters (there’s always one). I’ve found lockdown hard when the schools were closed. My then 3yo was the hardest to keep busy, so I do understand and hear you. As others have said, park, park park. I find that getting them out in the morning for an hour or two for lots of running and ball games etc is better than the playground and pays dividends after lunch. It exhausts them and will allow you some quiet time to regenerate. Raining? Get some wellies and a kids brolly. They love having their own. It’s hard work when so young and active, but mornings outside, if possible, work to your advantage. Give it a go. ❤️

Not had to raise a preschooler in a pandemic having lost your job and moved house, then? Not sure why you think you have any idea what that might be like and whether you would cope.

@Sitt

Not had to raise a preschooler in a pandemic having lost your job and moved house, then? Not sure why you think you have any idea what that might be like and whether you would cope.

Too right. She's just looking for an argument with someone clearly

So jobs are only important if they’re somehow altruistic? Interesting.

Sorry no, I don’t mean interesting, I meant bollocks. What kind of spiteful woman takes the time to go through the internet to find someone to kick while they’re down? Back the fuck off @AlyMcNabs. Surely your sense of superiority is enough to keep you entertained?

Love an NHS worker who farms out her child for others to raise.

What on Earth is this woman on?! Horrible horrible woman.

Have you never struggled?? Have you never needed support? Are you Mary Poppins?

And no, pre schoolers are not a fucking delight all the time! Also, your own mental well-being is important too.

I honestly think your comments are disgusting and unnecessary. Just fuck off you twat

What I wonder is why another mum, who has raised five children, who is helping raise her young grandchildren, who probably has a wealth of parenting know how and tips, would choose, instead of sharing her wisdom, to share disparagement and discord?

You could have helped, you chose to hinder.

@AlyMcNabs

Oh tut tut. Are your kids palming their kids off on you

Lol! Not at all. I’m happy to have them. After all preschool children are a delight aren’t they? What could be so difficult in keeping them entertained? God help when OP’s child reaches the teenage years, if she finds it impossible to care for a 3 year old!

I love having my GC, especially when their parents are front line workers and are required to go into work. I’m sure they would prefer to stay at home and raise their children, however as parents they are responsible for keeping a roof over their DC’s head and food in their tummies. We are all responsible for the well being of the children we choose to have. Of course, they could drop them off at daycare every morning and pick them up at night if they just wanted shot of them.

Not the same scenario as OP - who from her own admission is not required to work now but finds her one 3 year old hard work! Who did she think was responsible for raising the child she chose to have??

What provision have you put in place for your preschool DC?

My preschool DC went to full time nursery and now goes to full time school. Lockdown was horrific.

It's actually easier to entertain multiple children as they have each other. One three year old is absolutely harder.

I think you need to take a long hard look at yourself. You're having a go at someone for doing the exact same thing your own perfect DC are doing. You've had five children well I certainly hope you've not brought them up with the same vile attitude you have.

@AlyMcNabs you don't see how ironic it is to call someone a shit mum but you can't even manage to be a decent human being. It's worrying you've had 8 children come under the influence of you.

OP: I found the preschooler stage SO tough, I can't even begin to imagine dealing with that during a pandemic with losing your job and home too. Do not feel guilty, that is a really tough hand. You're getting lots of great practical advice, all I would add is this isn't forever, it looks like it might be a tough winter, tough it out and fingers crossed we will have some light at the end of the tunnel next spring xx

OP i can relate. I have 2 dc, a 3 year old and also a baby! It is bloody hard. My only saving grace is 3 year old goes to pre school 3 hours a day since it reopened. I do 90 percent of it on my own as dh has a demanding job. I love my babies and so grateful I get to be there but at the same time I like to have some of my own identity too! Dc1 is over the moon now he can go to pre school but if they close that again he will be devastated. I think after this most of us will never take normal life for granted again.

I'm with you OP - lockdown has been hard and relentless, I can only imagine how more difficult it's been with your job and house situation. My enthusiasm for endless park trips has dipped considerably.

I try to mix things up by going to different parks, we do treasure hunts, sofa cushion obstacle courses, baking, different craft activities (to varying degrees of success), I use Instagram/Pinterest for ideas. We have scheduled TV time to give me time to have a cup of tea. Mine likes going to the coffee shop so we do that as a treat. There's plenty of days where it's just a countdown to bedtime though.

@AlyMcNabs

Oh tut tut. Are your kids palming their kids off on you

Lol! Not at all. I’m happy to have them. After all preschool children are a delight aren’t they? What could be so difficult in keeping them entertained? God help when OP’s child reaches the teenage years, if she finds it impossible to care for a 3 year old!

I love having my GC, especially when their parents are front line workers and are required to go into work. I’m sure they would prefer to stay at home and raise their children, however as parents they are responsible for keeping a roof over their DC’s head and food in their tummies. We are all responsible for the well being of the children we choose to have. Of course, they could drop them off at daycare every morning and pick them up at night if they just wanted shot of them.

Not the same scenario as OP - who from her own admission is not required to work now but finds her one 3 year old hard work! Who did she think was responsible for raising the child she chose to have??

What provision have you put in place for your preschool DC?

Oh you came back. Why bother? Just to be a garbage human being?

Of course, they could drop them off at daycare every morning and pick them up at night if they just wanted shot of the

Which is exactly what your children are doing..: you are their day care!!! Please just do us all a favour a fuck off.
Thank you

Wow, this thread has been somewhat derailed.....

But yes, OP, it’s reasonable to find things tough if you and your child are used to something very different. My DD is 4, and I find it really quite tough when things all closed because my DD kept asking to go to the library, or the children’s centre, or swimming with daddy.... things that she had enjoyed and couldn’t really understand why it had all stopped. We used to go out to something every day so the change was hard on her and I imagine your DD is also used to being out and doing physical things a lot from what you describe.

I’ve been finding it tough because my house just gets so much messier when DD is home so much more! She’s also not very interested in going out for a walk for the sake of it, but we used to walk to all sorts of things, so walking somewhere, doing something and walking back used to take a whole morning very easily! Factor in stopping for a snack and it could easily be 3 or 4 hours happily spent NOT making mess!

Things that I’ve been doing more of with my DD:

• sticker books and just tubs of foam stickers - you can get these online.
• painting in the garden if it’s a warm/dry day. We grab some sticks and leaves and make prints on the paper, she quite enjoys the different shapes you get. Sometimes we glue some of the leaves on. We did a sort of collage thing where I drew a hedgehog and she printed leaves to get the spikes effect (didn’t look remotely like a hedgehog when done, but she enjoyed it!)
• magic painting books. Much quicker than colouring books (which my DD rarely has the patience for)
• picnic lunch on the floor. Instead of having lunch at the table, we spend a chunk of the morning putting blankets and cushions down and arranging some toys who then join us for lunch. They have toy food and we have real food. Sometimes I put my apron on and I’m the waitress...

A huge change to your routine is always tough. Small kids are resilient though, you and your DS will get through this.