I am not enjoying parenting during lockdown

[IvyDE4]

Hello everyone,
Please be nice - I already feel terrible writing this, but need to get it out. My little one is 3. Prior Covid I enjoyed being a parent - I work in leisure centre so I spent days around friends/colleagues taking my child swimming / soft play walk around, Kept him in creche for hour to do workout ....
since March I am not enjoying parenting- my work still closed - no pools or soft plays open and I’m so bored just going park and checking my watch when it’s gonna be a sleep time . I was happy when nurseries opened in September so I can have some time for myself and my child can socialize. Well, today they called that nursery is closed - confirm Covid case. I am crying to my pillow how I’m gonna handle next few weeks now when I got a little bit of me back. My DH helps a lot but I still feel overwhelmed. I feel like a terrible mom... anyone else feels this way?

OP sounds like you need a few minutes for yourself. This is a troubling time for everyone and little ones have so much energy and require a lot from mommas and papas. If little one takes a nap then use that time to just sit and do nothing even for 5 minutes. If not, find an activity like mark making or building blocks inside that you can monitor but leave little one to create entertainment themselves. Improves imaginative skills and gives you some time to not have to plan activities. Don't feel like a terrible Mum. You're probably just really tired in every way, and need a break from everything. You're Human after all

@AlyMcNabs

Do you have children

Yes I have 5 children (now adults) plus I work 4 days a week and look after 3 preschool GC 3 days a week. Why??

Oh tut tut. Are your kids palming their kids off on you?

@AlyMcNabs

This thread isn’t about you, start your own if you want attention!

OP it’s bloody tough, the unknown of how long this will go into is hard.! Especially without outdoor space.

Ok also ignoring the sniper and focusing on OP.

OP, it’s really hard. None of us were meant to parent like this. I recommend two websites/blogs - Five Minute Mum and Play Hooray. Both full of really good, easy, free play activities to do at home.

Otherwise, it might help both of you to break the day up a bit by doing odd things and/or at odd times. So bath in the middle of the day, picnic lunch on a rug on the floor etc.

to you. It’s so hard right now.

@AlyMcNabs You clearly didn't read the OP either, as it does start with "please be nice" which you are incapable of!

Get lost.

@AlyMcNabs What are you hoping to achieve here? Is this how you let off steam? Nice.

OP your situation sounds especially tough, try not to be too hard on yourself. I felt really low throughout the time I spent at home with my toddler. Lower your standards over the next few weeks and try not to dwell on any guilt your feeling. It will pass!

I think anyone who hasn’t lost their job, had to downsize their home due to lost income, and had to raise a toddler during a pandemic with associated restrictions all within a few months doesn’t really have any idea how they might have coped under the circumstances.

It’s very hard OP. You will cope and things will get easier, but you have been through a lot.

@AlyMcNabs I asked because you sound like someone who hasn't had any and has no bloody idea how hard it can be. Did you never struggle or reach out, need help or advice, have problems your other friends seem to breeze through and vice versa? I'm shocked you have your own children and managed to put together such a vile string of posts

OP I also recommend listening to the Lockdown Parenting Hell podcast if you get any time. It's hilarious and I took great comfort from hearing people make light of how much they have also struggled.

Apologies for engaging with the dickhead derailer.

Op it is bloody hard, it is ok to find it hard and it is absolutely fine to feel trepidation about all that time alone with your toddler. They are lovely but relentless and draining. Look after yourself, try and make a plan, have some activities up your sleeve. Messy play is always engaging and fun.

@AlyMcNabs

Do you have children

Yes I have 5 children (now adults) plus I work 4 days a week and look after 3 preschool GC 3 days a week. Why??

You look after gc...why? Can't their parents be bothered?

@AlyMcNabs how bloody awful of you to accept your grandchildren! I hope you told those perfect well adjusted kids of yours how irresponsible they're being!

@AlyMcNabs

Oh shut up. None of us chose to be a parent knowing we'd have to do it under these conditions. Bore off

Most people have the capability to parent a 3 year old! They don’t start school until 5!! Bore off yourself. Why have a child to palm off on someone else??

Oh bugger off. When my first child was under 5 I spent all my time with other mums and preschoolers. It’s totally unnatural to have one parent and one child together 100% of the time. Parents have never patented like this in all of human history. We are social tribal beings.

It takes a village to raise a child....

@AlyMcNabs

So you chose to have a child but don’t want to parent? 🤔

What a crap response. Do you have children? Maybe you've not had to experience the difficulties of being a parent during lockdown. I can only think that must be the reason you came out with such a shitty response.

It is hard with the current restrictions. We can’t go to any outings easily, everything I looked at this weekend needed pre-booked slots and were sold out. I’m pregnant so don’t fancy risking soft play (I can’t climb around with DS anyway) or swimming. Friends coming over for play dates was helping keep me sane and now we can’t do that. The bad weather isn’t helping, there’s a limit to how much you can play in the rain before it just gets a bit miserable for everyone. I am beyond bored of going to the park! My DS does go to nursery a few days a week and it’s a relief that he’s getting to socialise properly with his friends there at least. Winter is hard enough without such limited child entertainment options on top. We can’t even see his grandparents easily now, they’re too elderly to find outside for long. It sucks. Just wanted to say you’re not alone!

Apparently she has 5!

It sounds like you're a really active person, are there more ways you could work that into your days with your toddler?

Even stuck indoors, my younger dcs love watching the GoNoodle website videos (we use the tv), it has child-friendly dances and exercise videos that I can join in with. Or look at some mother-child yoga videos, or have regular spontaneous dance-offs. Outdoor challenges like throwing balls into buckets, or hula hooping.

@AlyMcNabs

Do you have children

Yes I have 5 children (now adults) plus I work 4 days a week and look after 3 preschool GC 3 days a week. Why??

Ahhh so have absolutely no idea what it's like to parent a young child 24/7 at the moment then. Maybe go away and find a thread you can actually be useful in.

OP you are not alone it's bloody tough just now especially if you're stuck in a flat due to isolation.

We had to isolate right at the start with our 3 year old in a flat as he had a cough and it was before tests were available and it was bloody horrible but we got through it and so will you.

Arty stuff, baking, games (my 3 year old found a love for board games over lockdown) and don't feel bad about using some TV too.

We now have a 6 month old baby too and life improved for us all when nursery reopened for DS so pray everyday that it stays open.

Rant on here if you need to, you are not alone.

OP many of us understand and sympathise. Mine is nearly 3 and is, by and large, a very easy child to look after in usual circumstances. We don't have a garden so lockdown was hard in that respect; on the other hand we live in a rural area so we had that advantage. I cried a lot in the shower! My DP worked throughout lockdown and I worked around his shifts. I can't remember the last time I was on my own. Try and remember that this will pass, I promise.

It is really hard @IvyDE4. I think it’s particularly hard being a preschoolers only playmate. If you’re not a natural CBeebies presenter it’s hard going. My dd is 4 (just started reception now) and frankly I’m not enough for her. She has a full pelt lust for life and inquisitive nature which I adore about her and was really enjoying supporting the development of just as lockdown kicked in. All of the things I had planned are shelved indefinitely as it becomes harder and harder to explore things together. Coupled with the general worry of being an adult right now it’s exhausting. You’re not alone in your fatigue.

@AlyMcNabs looking after someone else’s dc is ok for you and yours but no one else? You’re an utter melt.

@IvyDE4 it’s been unbelievably hard. Don’t feel guilty for struggling it’s no reflection on you. I have two small kids and feel like I’m losing my mind half the time.

Its very difficult as a pp said as you are not only their parent but also their only playmate at the moment...kids need to hang out with other kids and parents need to be able to parent without also having to be their child's friends and entertainment too.

@Cornettoninja

It is really hard *@IvyDE4*. I think it’s particularly hard being a preschoolers only playmate. If you’re not a natural CBeebies presenter it’s hard going. My dd is 4 (just started reception now) and frankly I’m not enough for her. She has a full pelt lust for life and inquisitive nature which I adore about her and was really enjoying supporting the development of just as lockdown kicked in. All of the things I had planned are shelved indefinitely as it becomes harder and harder to explore things together. Coupled with the general worry of being an adult right now it’s exhausting. You’re not alone in your fatigue.

@AlyMcNabs looking after someone else’s dc is ok for you and yours but no one else? You’re an utter melt.

Hahaha literally. Are the grandkids not being "palmed off" on you then, @AlyMcNabs?

What a miserable person you must be to come and bash a mother who is struggling. I feel for you.

OP, DH and I have older children than you, have a large house and garden, have financially benefited from the pandemic but fuck sake it was hard work when they were all home from school and DH and I had to work shifts round each other to cover work and childcare. And now DD1 has come home from school and said loads of kids in her classes did no work for 6 months .

It is hard for everyone let alone for those who have had the disruption to their lives that you have. Cut yourself (a lot!) of slack and do what you need to do to survive. It's going to be a difficult winter and realistically a year of watching a lot more TV than usual will not have any long term effects. DS spent most of March to August playing minecraft and watching youtube, we've set strict limits since he went back to school and he has been fine. So, relax over the next couple of weeks while nursery is shut then get your DDs routine back to normal as much as you can. And look after yourself, do some daily exercise, take your Vit D, eat a healthy diet and be good to yourself. We're not suppose to live like this.