Looking for the opinion of fellow free-range parents...

[babyguffingtonstrikesagain]

Hi there,
In the past year my husband and I have become a lot more laid-back about allowing our children the freedom to explore the local area, go to the park with their friends, go to the local newsagent/cafe etc. by themselves.
Please no judgey comments. I realise that not everybody is as keen to adopt this style of parenting, but we feel that we want to develop an independence in our dc that is not possible when we supervise them wherever they go.
My question is...at what age would you let your dc get the bus independently to a before-school club?

Bus solo? Secondary school, so 11. Would do a bunch of practice runs in the summer beforehand.

Actually, yr 6 with a sensible child

Depends where you live.........my town is something like 4 miles square and fairly safe. All the buses end up in town........I quite often see kids of 8/9 hopping on the bus with their friends to go for a maccies then home again...........it's a lovely area in the sense we still have packs of kids playing out. They don't have the freedom we had as children but have loads compared to a lot of children I know in other parts of the country.

For me I'd say by 10 they should have some knowledge of using public transport independently or at least be working towards that in preparation for secondary school.

If they can use transport independently then surely they don’t need before school club

2/3

Free range parenting 😂

DS did from 10. He's quite dreamy though and needed a lot of coaching to make sure he wouldn't miss his stop, and would cope with it if he did. Some of his friends did or could have done younger.

I was making my own breakfast from around the age of 5 and walking to school from around 7 I think it was. I was doing it a lot on my own throughout primary before I started secondary.
That was because my mum never would get up so I kind of learnt to make my breakfast and I guess it just became normal to get myself up and ready for school. I would always go into her to say goodbye as I was leaving.

I can’t say I’d do the same for my daughter but that’s out of fear of something happening. I definitely want to encourage independence as well but I don’t think I’ll allow her to sort herself out that young while I have a lay in. I’ll still be up with her prob encourage making her own breakfast and then walk or drive her to school.

Children in Japan go to school alone from elementary age. When I was there and I saw this dinky child walking alone with a backpack I was gobsmacked but apparently it’s pretty normal. Definitely got a bit of culture shock there lol

Soz pressed send before ready.
Was going to add..
I think it depends on your own child and their age etc, if you feel they’re ready and able to do that themselves, maybe go with them on that route the first couple of times so they know the route?

Depends on the country you live in:
via underground to school in year 1 aged 6

I don't "do free range parenting" :o but we live in Germany, DS1 was taking the (public) bus to school from the age of 9.

I think you may be hampered by the policy of the before school club - if they want a parent drop off, then you might not be able to do your bus idea.

If you're happy for them to go to the park, cafes and local area, what gives you pause about the bus?

Because you would be the best judge of their abilities. At the age my DC are OK for "free-range" activities I assume they're going to be OK for the transport options too, I guess.

Year 5 or 6 mine going to school local shops.As you don’t say ages hard to advise.

There was a poster on here who had never let an 18 year old out of the house without a parent or a cousin. Was the weirdest thing I ever read. And she thought it perfectly normal!

I would give you three different ages, depending which one of my DC it was.

9 or 10yo on breakfast club. Don't think they went on train without us before 12yo, but I guess I'd be ok with 10yo on a familiar bus journey.

I've always thought DC taking themselves to a before school club is a bit odd. If they're able to get themselves there, then why can't they leave an hour later and lock the door behind them and just go to school?

15min train and 15min walk to school from Y5 here.

My DS took the bus alone from age 11 in year 6. We did a practice run together then one where he took the bus and I drove to meet him there. He was absolutely fine. There was a 2 minute walk at the other end to his destination and I always checked his location on find my friends

Y6 I think.

Dd is almost 9 and she goes to the park round the corner from our home, the small shop a little down the lane and the post office. She can also knock on one good friend who lives nearby.

Older brother is out the house on his bike all day everyday (weekends) and just pings a text of his whereabouts as the day goes on. He’s y7 now.

@LynetteScavo

I've always thought DC taking themselves to a before school club is a bit odd. If they're able to get themselves there, then why can't they leave an hour later and lock the door behind them and just go to school?

Exactly this.

@LynetteScavo

I've always thought DC taking themselves to a before school club is a bit odd. If they're able to get themselves there, then why can't they leave an hour later and lock the door behind them and just go to school?

My son was perfectly capable of catching the bus at age 10, however was not capable of consistently ensuring the house was locked up properly and actually I wouldn't have wanted him to have that responsibility, if he got it wrong our insurance would have been invalidated.

Year 6 so aged 11

Thanks for the replies.

DD is in Y5 and it's an extra-curricular basketball club before school that she desperately wants to go to but it would be a logistical nightmare for us to have to take her (combination of work/siblings).

She only started at the school last week so we want to give her the opportunity to do it for the sake of friendships.

She's nearly 10 and a sensible girl so I think she will be fine.

I've just realised that at 7, nearly 8 I got the train to school on my own, and walked 10 mins from the station to school. My DTs are 7 and it feels like years off this kind of scenario.

@babyguffingtonstrikesagain I don't like labels or tribalism when it comes to parenting, eating, ... but I wanted to suggest you travel with her couple of times, on the first occasion have the right stop on both ends, and on the next one, have her miss her stop and get off at the next one. There are plenty of reason why she could miss a stop, some out of her control and not linked to distractions. Bus might be overcrowded, someone/something (a pram) is blocking access to the door, so you need to equip her with the knowledge of what to do if she misses the stop, or even takes the wrong bus, if there are more than one line at your stop.
Buy a lanyard for her bus pass, so she won't have to open bag/wallet when she gets on and off and after her activity she can put it in her bag

Encourage her to invite some of her new friends over, this will reinforce the building of new friendship as during a basketball practice there isn't much time to talk