Looking for the opinion of fellow free-range parents...

[babyguffingtonstrikesagain]

Hi there,
In the past year my husband and I have become a lot more laid-back about allowing our children the freedom to explore the local area, go to the park with their friends, go to the local newsagent/cafe etc. by themselves.
Please no judgey comments. I realise that not everybody is as keen to adopt this style of parenting, but we feel that we want to develop an independence in our dc that is not possible when we supervise them wherever they go.
My question is...at what age would you let your dc get the bus independently to a before-school club?

via underground to school in year 1 aged 6

Do you mean your six year old DC gets the tube to school on their own? Or have I misunderstood?

@nc20

via underground to school in year 1 aged 6

Do you mean your six year old DC gets the tube to school on their own? Or have I misunderstood?

This is what happens in some countries. I can't get my head around it personally but it does happen.

@LeGrandBleu great advice. Thank you. She does get the bus with her dad twice a week so she is familiar with the route and he'll talk her through various scenarios before we let her go solo.

We have middle schools for Y6-8 (a little corner of Kirklees in W Yorks). Its very normal for children to travel to school independently from Y6. We live in very close walking distance, much to DS’s dissapointment!

@nc20

via underground to school in year 1 aged 6

Do you mean your six year old DC gets the tube to school on their own? Or have I misunderstood?

I did this in London when I was 7, but it was the 1970s! 3 stops, 1 change.

Our primary allows (pending parents permission) Y5 and Y6 to arrive and leave school unaccompanied. Dc1 is desperate to travel alone but we have dc2 at the same school so seems daft to walk separately.

OP there was a brilliant programme called "Planet Child" which looked at this issue and how children are capable of so much more independence than our culture allows them. It looked at Japan (which a PP mentioned) but also countries like Germany. Highly recommend watching it. Obviously there are safety concerns to balance but it is really fascinating. They looked at the child development aspect and how children's brains develop from experiencing risk and independence.

For me it wouldn’t be about independence of the child and whether they were capable. It would be purely safety. Will they be safe? Only you know your area and the likelihood of her potentially coming into contact with people they may wish her harm.

It really depends on your area, and the child.
The main obstacle for us at primary was the traffic- if cars don't stop at the crossing for 6' DH, and actually drive on the pavement too, they're not going to stop for a small child that is far more difficult to spot over the bonnet of an Evoque or a Tucson.

My eldest could have walked to a before school club easily from Y4, but I'd like her to arrive in one piece.

Also love the term "free range parenting". I'd never heard that before!

@PolkadotGiraffe, that Planet Child Programme really sold it to us that we shouldn't hang back on giving DS more independence. I sometimes start saying "Are you going to be okay if..." then change it to "their are children on the African savannah sorting themselves out, you'll be fine."

I remember the time there was a possibility DH would be late to pick DS up and take him to martial arts class, so I gave DS £5 in case DJH was late and the deal was that he could wait in Costa and have a hot chocolate. DH was about 1 minute late and DS had shot round to Costa like a bullet from a gun, got himself in the queue and just waved through the window at DH, stuck outside as he had a bike with him. Honestly surprised he hadn't taken half the class and got his round in.

@Namechangeforthis88 that's brilliant! You see so much written these days about resilience and self-esteem and I am sure being allowed more independence must help with setting the foundations for those.

@PolkadotGiraffe I watched the first episode of Planet Child last night and thought it was fantastic!

It was a book I read a couple of years ago that really challenged my reluctance to give my kids enough freedom. The book is called 'The Coddling of the American Mind' and I highly recommend it to anyone who's interested in this stuff.

Planet Child sounds interesting, thanks. For my children it would have depended on the child (one very much head-in-the-clouds, the other a lot more streetwise), the neighbourhood/country I lived in and its culture, whether I could be there if I needed to be if anything happened.

[quote babyguffingtonstrikesagain]@PolkadotGiraffe I watched the first episode of Planet Child last night and thought it was fantastic!

It was a book I read a couple of years ago that really challenged my reluctance to give my kids enough freedom. The book is called 'The Coddling of the American Mind' and I highly recommend it to anyone who's interested in this stuff.[/quote]
Thank you, I will check this out! Glad you are enjoying Planet Child. I found it really eye opening.

9 I think and my daughter's school wouldn't want her travelling there alone till year 5. I would go with her the first couple of times.

[quote Namechangeforthis88]@PolkadotGiraffe, that Planet Child Programme really sold it to us that we shouldn't hang back on giving DS more independence. I sometimes start saying "Are you going to be okay if..." then change it to "their are children on the African savannah sorting themselves out, you'll be fine."

I remember the time there was a possibility DH would be late to pick DS up and take him to martial arts class, so I gave DS £5 in case DJH was late and the deal was that he could wait in Costa and have a hot chocolate. DH was about 1 minute late and DS had shot round to Costa like a bullet from a gun, got himself in the queue and just waved through the window at DH, stuck outside as he had a bike with him. Honestly surprised he hadn't taken half the class and got his round in.[/quote]
Just been reading this thread again and remembering those scenes in Planet Child where the parents in the savannah said "it'll be fine, not many elephants around at this time of year, they just need to keep away from the snakes". 🤣 But they do! Kids are SO much smarter than we give them credit for, and I think if we give them the opportunities to learn about risks as children then it would save many disasters in teenage years which come from that part of the brain being underdeveloped. It really changed my whole approach to parenting (and I am very anxious!). Wonderful to hear that others found it equally inspirational.

Thanks for your encouragement everyone. DD found out today that she has a place in the club so we've decided to go for it!

That's brilliant. Please check back in to let us know how it goes.