Feeding to sleep...

[Catarinah]

So my 9 month old is still being fed to sleep every night/all night wakings and for naps if we're in the house. Yes, I know a lot of you are thinking "this should stop" and I'm not posting yo hear about how he should "learnto self soothe"... He's a baby, even I struggle to self soothe when I'm upset haha. 1) surely it's one of the most natural things ever and 2) I actually have tried and it involed a LOT of tears and I'm not an advocate of leaving a baby to cry. I try and cuddle him to soothe him back ti sleep when he wakes in the night but more often than not he wriggles and starts to cry until he gets the boob, but ideally, I'd like to be able to just comfort him to sleep with a kiss/cuddle. I tried this yesterday for his nap whilst rocking and he got hysterical and it's then stressful gor both him and I, he's even worse for my OH, he's teething badly now too so probably not a good time to try breaking the habit. So... My question is, foe those of you who also breastfed your babies to sleep, when did it naturally stop, and how? I

Also interested in the answer to this. My 11 month still feeds to sleep for his 2 naps and naps on me. If I try to move him from me he wakes up.

At night we stopped feeding to sleep though at around 6 montha. My DH went in and resettled him for a few nights and then he started settking himself. He still wakes once for a night feed though at around 4am and seems hungry.

My 4 year old fed to sleep every night until he was nearly 4, at which point he lost interest!

For my DD I think it was around 14months that feeding to sleep stopped working. She would be really restless and it took what felt like hours for her to get drowsy. So I changed it to having a feed, then story then into bed (she didn't much like that but there was no other option!). Probably around 2yrs old I then changed it to a cup of milk before bed instead of breastfeed and nightweaned a few months later.

I did try to stop feeding to sleep a few times before it stopped working, and it just ended in misery for everyone. Not worth forcing it in my opinion, if it's not broke don't fix it!

Oh and I carried on feeding back to sleep for every night feed until I nightweaned (just stopped the feed to sleep at bedtime)

4 years old?! Crying it is! (joke). It seems like there's no gentle way to stop it, because even me cuddling him ends in a ridiculous amount of upset and then I get upset too so it's not worth it. We're co sleeping here because after I feed him (laying down) I have to ninja myself away because he wakes being carried to his cot... Grrr!!!

I coslept too at that age for the same reason :) it feels like there's no light at the end of the tunnel but I promise things do naturally improve...eventually!

I’m still doing it at 14 months for DD2. DD1 was ff and bf to sleep is so much easier than the ff I had with DD1. I’m planning on continue until she is at least 2 yrs and has dropped her day time nap.

Still going at 18 months and will continue as long as it works and she wants to. She has a floor bed in our room and we bedshare half the night.

As you say, it’s natural, normal, it works.

I fed dd to sleep until she was 2. Then it kind of naturally dwindled as she stopped breastfeeding then anyway. It was kind of a 5 minute thing, then an every other day thing, then I realised it hadn't happened for a week or so and I just didn't make a thing of it and that was the end.

Ds is 1yo and hasn't fed to sleep for ages! He tends to feed until he's full, then roll away. A couple of months ago realised that once he'd rolled away I could actually put him in his cot without any trouble so that's what we do. Was very odd after dd who co-slept for 18 months!

All babies are different, I think you should just do what works best for your family.

I fed ds to sleep until about 13 months then we swapped to bottle for night time and he has gone to sleep well since (touch wood) now his almost 2 and often puts him self to sleep after having a chat to his Teddy in his cot!
Also what helped was when I stopped breastfeeding at night DH done the night routine for a week or so, then he could not smell my milk or me and had to either drink his bottle or not!

Like the above post said do what works for you they will naturally stop feeding to sleep eventually and if it works for you keep going! Anything to make bed times easier!

My memory's foggy as DS is now 10, but I stopped bf at about 15 months. Up until then I was feeding him to sleep most nights. I had a lot of criticism - rod for your own back etc. and can clearly remember worrying whether he'd ever be able to get to sleep without. I will say that since I stopped he's always been really happy to go to bed, I haven't been up and down stairs all evening etc. He loves bedtime, goes to sleep really well and wakes up cheerful.

No idea. Mine is still young (5 months), but I literally have no idea how to get him to sleep otherwise.
He falls asleep in pram/ car seat/ sling without. And occasionally il feed at night and he will go back into cot awake and settle, but nothing fixed

In the same position with my 7 month old. Worry how he will manage at nursery with Naps. He does have it in him to settle without breast as partner has managed it but it's rare

My youngest is nearly 8 and obviously no longer fed to sleep, and as I can't remember how or when it stopped with either of my children I think that means it must not have been problematic... Enjoy having an easy way to get them to sleep and don't worry it about it. It's harder when they get old enough to try to negotiate over bedtime and come up with every possible excuse - one of which was I'd "disrespected her toys" 😂

We never did this as my DS was one of those strange kids who wouldn’t feed to sleep, found my presence distracting and preferred to settle in a cot alone 🤷🏼‍♀️

However a good friend has this approach with her daughter, who is 18 months and currently still feeding to sleep. She’s wanting to try for another baby but waiting until he daughter self weans.

I’d say your baby is still very young. I hate the rod for your own back comments- it would be such a special part of breastfeeding to miss out on. It can be hard as they get older but they outgrow everything and before you know it they’re on to the next phase.

DD fed to sleep for about a year, and now at 2 it’s all about the tv sofa naps.

I actually really miss it now!

When did it naturally stop? It didn't. It got worse because ds couldn't self-settle when he woke in the night. When he was tiny and we bed-shared this wasn't a big deal, but as he got bigger I could not have him in bed with me any more because he was such an active sleeper. He flailed around in his sleep, kicking and walloping us, and falling out of bed. At 18m I cracked from exhaustion and sleep-trained him.

None of my other dc were fed to sleep, and all established good sleep habits within their first few months, and dropped their night feeds naturally and easily.

All your comments are so reassuring, never would I hVe thought feeding tk sleeo was so common, I think its not spoken about because like you mention apparently it's "making a rod/bad habit/you need to sleep train/he needs to self soothe" which is disheartening and makes me worry about it rather than accept it as a natural and caring way to get him to sleep happy. I am also concerned about when I go back to work (January) too, but I'm only going bach 2 days and he'll be cared for by mum not nursery and I'm confident she'll find a way to get him to nap, like mentioned above he also can be rocked/car seat/pram/sling to sleep so I know it is possible. Another question though, not that it currently makes a difference with lockdown, but how did you ever manage to leave your babies overnight? Because I don't think I'll ever be able to at this rate and we are (meant) to have two weddings next year to attend :s

Please don’t worry! It’s very common. It’s quite unusual I’d imagine to breastfeed but not feed to sleep. In a lot of countries a bottle and a cot would be unheard of.

I would recommend ‘The milk meg’ on Facebook it’s a great page.

Don’t worry about going back to work, it may feel like a struggle for a few weeks but you will get used to it. I’m sure your little one will love being spoiled by your Mum and have buggy naps no problem. January seems soon but honestly your baby will change so much in 3 months you will look back and wonder why you worried so much.

13 months in here.

Tbh I quite like having a superpower that (eventually) guarantees DD goes to sleep. I've had all the "rod for your own back" comments, but no-one seems to offer any advice other than cry it out. I tried CIO once. Never again. DD got hysterical, vomited, then somehow got more hysterical. And that was just the first hour. It does suck that I'm the only person who can resettle at night, but other than when she's been ill, it's not been too bad.

More recently, DH has succeeded in settling DD in her cot a few times, so I'm hoping

Eh?... I didn't hit post then. How bizarre...

Anyway, I'm hoping this means DD will soon start settling on her own at night. It certainly seems the feeding to sleep is taking longer anyway.

Naps have improved drastically of late. DD would sleep on me for every single day nap up until she dropped to one nap (@ 10/11 months). Once she did that, she'd drop into a deep enough sleep that I could put her down. Apparently, she does fight naps at nursery, but does settles on her own eventually. She doesn't sleep as long though.

I wouldn't worry OP. It can't, and won't, last forever.

Looking at this i now feel pretty mean, i stopped feeding DD to sleep at 5 months because i was bloody miserable sitting on my own in the dark for an hour every evening and never getting to cook.

I started cut the length of the feed down, and as soon as she got sleepy unlatched her and cuddled her to nearly asleep, then put her in the cot and shhhhed her to sleep. When she could go to sleep without shhhing, i started feeding in a light room and putting her down completely awake, once she had that down i moved the feed to before bathtime.

Glad i did it then, as she had teeth soon after and it would have been a nightmare trying to brush them without waking her. How do mums who feed to sleep manage that!?

You don’t have to brush their teeth after feeding. Breast milk from the breast doesn’t pool behind their teeth like other liquids do. Once they have teeth you brush a bedtime then it’s fine to feed after. Milk on top of food particles can lead to decay but if you’ve removed the food the milk itself is fine.

Babies have fed to sleep throughout the very long history of babies, the hormones help both baby and mum to fall asleep at nighttime.

@AnneLovesGilbert

You don’t have to brush their teeth after feeding. Breast milk from the breast doesn’t pool behind their teeth like other liquids do. Once they have teeth you brush a bedtime then it’s fine to feed after. Milk on top of food particles can lead to decay but if you’ve removed the food the milk itself is fine.

Babies have fed to sleep throughout the very long history of babies, the hormones help both baby and mum to fall asleep at nighttime.

I was told by my dentist that even though it doesn't pool in the mouth like formula, because it's more sugary than formula it still does damage - she said they see quite a bit of tooth decay in toddlers who are breastfed to sleep. I think its a cumulative thing though, not sure how old she meant by toddler. I was traumatised by multiple fillings as a child due to genetically weak enamel so am being very cautious.

Also, historically oral health was absolutely shite until people started putting fluoride in the water, so I'm not sure that argument really carries weight in terms of modern dentistry, though it is a good point about the hormones.

My second son fed to sleep until he was about 2!

The day will come when it stops and you will miss it

Enjoy those special moments of feeding your baby to sleep - I thought it was wonderful that he felt so much comfort in my arms and from feeding from me that it would cause him to fall asleep.