Feeding to sleep...

[Catarinah]

So my 9 month old is still being fed to sleep every night/all night wakings and for naps if we're in the house. Yes, I know a lot of you are thinking "this should stop" and I'm not posting yo hear about how he should "learnto self soothe"... He's a baby, even I struggle to self soothe when I'm upset haha. 1) surely it's one of the most natural things ever and 2) I actually have tried and it involed a LOT of tears and I'm not an advocate of leaving a baby to cry. I try and cuddle him to soothe him back ti sleep when he wakes in the night but more often than not he wriggles and starts to cry until he gets the boob, but ideally, I'd like to be able to just comfort him to sleep with a kiss/cuddle. I tried this yesterday for his nap whilst rocking and he got hysterical and it's then stressful gor both him and I, he's even worse for my OH, he's teething badly now too so probably not a good time to try breaking the habit. So... My question is, foe those of you who also breastfed your babies to sleep, when did it naturally stop, and how? I

Gentle persuasion at 21mo

I'm still doing it at 15 months but it is changing now I'm doing cry it out at bedtimes. (Best thing I ever done)

@annelovesgilbert unless you're willimy 5o go to @user19990's house and soothe her baby to sleep every night, all through the night, DFOD.

We sleep trained- controlled crying - at 6 months because he was up every 2-3 hours and wouldn't take a bottle so it was all on me (and we had a 2 year old as well so not able to rest during the day) which worked really well for night feeds. For getting him down, I still mostly feed him to sleep and then transfer to the cot but sometimes the transfer doesn't work and he self settles with some whinging (if it gets to proper crying, I go back in) so I feel like he will get there eventually and self settle without a feed more frequently. He is 15 months.

Because of coronavirus, I have no social life anyway so it doesn't really bother me that I have to do every bedtime, though it's a shame that I rarely get to put my 3 year old to bed as a result

Hi OP. I have fed all three of mine to sleep until they naturally stopped and I never worried about it. It felt right to me. My second two stopped naturally at about two years old. My first was a bit earlier than that. As they got older, I offered them water in the night. Sometimes they were happy with that and sometimes not, so I fed them. But it seemed quite a natural process to me. I think 9 months is still young and as long as you're happy feeding to sleep, then everyone is happy. I've never felt it made 'a rod for my back'.

DD1 naturally stopped just after she turned one. She'd already stopped having night wakings though and also stopped wanting milk before naps. In contrast DD2 turned one last month and is still feeding for every nap and through the night 🙈I was hoping to let her stop naturally but starting to get a lot of pressure from my mum and sisters to night wean so I get more sleep!

My DD is 10 months and we have just started tackling feeding to sleep, I can’t bear the thought of her being upset and wanting to do it for her naps at nursery next month so decided it was best to try and coax her out of the habit I would definitely have carried on had it been for that because I secretly love it!! It’s our special time and it gives her lots of comfort.

I’ve started feeding her either downstairs or with her bedroom door open, then when shes finished put her in the cot and do a mix of shush/pat and pick up put down in the dark. DH handles the in the dark bit for afternoon naps. It’s taking anywhere from 15-30 mins to get her to sleep, but we’ve made a lot of progress (she’s a proper boob addict as well!).

I don’t think you’ve made a rod for your own back, if it works for you then what’s the harm.

Urgh last night was tough, hes teething badly and wpuld pretty much only sleep with boob in his mouth and as soon as I unlatched him hed wake crying. My back actually aches this morning from feeding him laying down most of the night. When its like this I feel like I cant continue because I've not slept and am now feeling rough. I did try and kiss/cuddle but ended in tears and then him waking up fully and being wide awake from 1am-2:30am :(

I’ve been where you are - I had so many problems surrounding my son’s sleep (he was 9 months old at the time) and I was crying from exhaustion most days, I was in a really bad place.

I ended up using a Sleep Consultant and within a week I had a different baby!

I fed my second son to sleep until he was about two, and for some reason I coped done with that, but with my first baby I had a really difficult time with it and couldn’t physically or emotionally cope with it.

Dealing with sleep issues can be very hard, especially when they become reliant on the breast to go to sleep

@QueenofmyPrinces can i ask what kind of things the consultant implemented?

@Ohalrightthen

Your not mean! I stopped at 5 months too it was the best thing I ever did,I rocked offered water or pushed in the pram for naps and always put down to sleep awake after a breastfeed. We had a few tears and it was abit stressful but not for long & id never left him to cry it out !!! Still had a few night feeds untill 11 months but I’d always unlatch and put him back in the cot awake, no sucking on my breast all night. Luckily he got attached to his comfort blanket which I offered instead of my breast every time he was upset. I think this why he is the most amazing sleeper, has been since 11 months sleeps 14 hours a night now at 16 months & gets excited to go in the cot !

I should add he self weaned off the breast at 15 months!

It stopped after 6 weeks when I had to go back to work full time or starve/lose my home (single parent) and he had to lump it.
If you have all the time in the world and don't have to go to work then I guess you can do what you want.

The only thing I would say about feeding to sleep is to those who intend to use a nursery. Please try to get your baby used to falling asleep without the boob in their mouth before they start nursery. Staff don’t have a magic wand or fairy dust to settle your baby down for a sleep. Bottles or dummies are obviously not an issue but we can’t provide a boob!
OP thats not an issue for you as you are confident your mum can get your baby off to sleep in the buggy.

catarinah - I will private message you tonight when my children are in bed to let you know about the service she provided.