I think I have quite and un-social child and it's bothering me a bit

[Pruners]

Message withdrawn

Message withdrawn

Pruni, it is hard to deal with, but if he is honestly happy, then leave him be.

Any presure from you about may end up making him feel awkward about something that, on its own is no big deal.

There is no need for all children to be gregarious.

Let him find his own way

(tis vvvqv btw)

DD1 is quite choosy. Outside plaing she is less fussy and tends to just run about like a small looney. She has been known to tell off other children and criticise them .

What sort of way does he enjoy playing? DD1 tends to play really well if it is something she likes, so I tend to set it up to start with then the kids relax more and then go off and play together.

Hi Pruners, didn't want to leave this unanswered, though I don't think I have much advice.

I do think our dcs are still really young to worry much about this, but I do know exactly what you mean. I don't know any more about what to expect from 3 year olds.

As far as birthdays go, are there any other children in the family anywhere near his age? Could you have a family party with just a cousin or so floating about? Maybe an older one - I'm lucky enough to have a 16 year old niece who is a riot with small ones. If he does have a friend at nursery, why not just take them both for a day out with a cake back at home or something?

Otherwise, tbh at this age I focus a lot more on whether I like the parents, when considering whether to invite the children ....

it's a b*gger though.

Message withdrawn

Message withdrawn

what does your son imagine his party to look like? Does he just want a party tea with family or does he want party games with other children?

Message withdrawn

can you ask nursery staff who his friends are? or his group of friends are .. to get an idea who to invite to his party

Message withdrawn

Do you think he's still getting used to his new surroundings and new people?

Why not ask all teh boys from nursery or something, just pick a bunch of kids to ask and maybe it'll help with the whole getting-to-know-people thing

ah, I posted late

what about just 6 or 8?
what are you doing for party?

Message withdrawn

At that age, I wouldnt imagine many of them will get party games.

So, just have lots of balloons, pass the parcel, dancing/music or if you could stretch to it, an entertainer?

DD still doesnt get party games. Mind you, I wonder whether her glue ear and lack of hearing is part of that. It's all a confused bustle for her.

Message withdrawn

Message withdrawn

There are a few of these kids on our estate. They seem to be the ones that haven't been in contact with lots of kids from an early age.

We let ours out with others around her age at an early stage and let her get on with it and she is really confident and has loads of friends and kids calling for her.

Just make sure you are encouraging your son to go out and play unsupervised with other kids and he will make his own headway with this in time.

It's a shame when i see the nervous lonely kids out once in a blue moon with their parents watching them (not suggesting you are like this of course!), speaking for them, following them round, basically living in their head - and then calling round my house asking why my DD won't play with them and why do they get left out.

I struggle to answer politely - i really do.

LOL, yes. The "why are there men on mumsnet" thread

DD is much like your DS.

Pushing her to socialise really doesnt work. She'll do it in her own time. In the past, when I have pushed her forward she tends to cling to me more. When I have acted indifferent, she'll slowly wander off and do her own thing.

DS - completely different - dives in head first to anything.

They are all different. The very best you can do is reassure him, and allow him to feel confident about himself. Then, he will slowly form friendships of his own. Maybe not yet, but, he is still only very little.

I also have a child who seems quite happy not mixing, but we just had his 4th birthday party with 8 children, and it was a success because of the storyteller we hired. If you are in Herts or N London (or Beds, I guess) then I will happily put you on to her. The children 'got it' really quickly and she also did a little bit with puppets, which they loved. We started off by making and decorating cardboard crowns to wear, and because the parents were good about joining in, it didn't matter that 2 of the children didn't want to make a crown.

ds suddenly seems to be coming out of himself, maybe coincidence that he has started state nursery 3 afternoons a week (he has also been in a private nursery since he was 9 months old, always played on his own), but it has been really hard to watch him be so bad at mixing, and AWFUL at sharing and taking turns, because I know how dreadful my own shyness was as a child, so I do sympathise with your worries.

Far too young to judge this one imo
Please don't worry. He is already spending a lot of time with other kids so just let him be with his mum the rest of the time.

He is very likely to change, 3 really is too young to think he will not be very sociable later on!

Message withdrawn