Anyone out there with two under two, having day of chaos

[hazeyjane]

I have two lovely daughters, 18 months and 4 months, some days (like today) it feels as though I'm trying to juggle a hundred things at once, in fact I can't believe that in the rare half an hour that they are asleep at the same time I am on Mumsnet ( I'm a bit of a newbie here ), of course I'm also surrounded by a sea of toys, lunch stuff etc etc. I just thought I'd see if there was anyone out there in the same boat, as sometimes i just want to sit down in the middle of it all and cry. Of course if you have any other combination of children or just the one I know its probably exactly the same. Going to get strong drink now (tea - before anyone throws there hands up in horror)

Hi hazey!
It is hard, my two are 15 months apart, now 2.5 and 15 months. Just to say I know what you're going through. It does get easier. They now play together (well, chase after each other when toys are pinched!)
Get out and about as much as you can, staying in can drive you (and them) bonkers!
Good luck!

mine are 2 years apart, but I felt/feel like this most days, they are 2.11 and 11 months now and it has got easier as time has gone on, but then again maybe my standards have just got lower lol!

Have had cup of tea and babies are still asleep (!), but have got everything ready so that we can go out as soon as they wake up. I live in a small village, so not a lot to do, but there is a cafe, so may go down there so girl's can be cooed at by old ladies (and I can eat cake). Its the tea/bath/bedtime thing I find hard, and am doing it alone tonight as dh not back until late. Thanks for the 'it gets easier' bit, I need to hear that sometimes. Ooops there goes one....

Yeah I hate the dinner/bath/bed thing too. Getting them to sleep at the same time must be great! [wistful]
DS has just stopped his daytime nap, so DD only sleeps if he's Very Quiet! Calming down time is helpful, stories, lullabys.
I ain't no expert though!
Enjoy that cake!

I had a 19 month gap. I think I felt like that for the first year! It will get better. I remember the first time dd said ds's name, it was magical (cheesy I know) - they play together brilliantly now and obviously really care about one another (2 and 3.5). It will be worth it in the long run (although I wouldn't wish to repeat the experience of that first year thanks!)

Mine are also 15 mths and 2.5 and my greatest acheivement has been getting them to nap at the same time. DD is on the verge of cutting out her nap, but she's happy to sit in her bed and look at books for an hour or so. Some days she will still have a nap - especially if I wear her out in the morning!. I can't wait until they play nicely together. At the moment, it's usually dd wrestling or pushing ds over and him screaming.

Hi, my two are quite a bit older and it does get easier (DD is 4 and DS 1.5). One thing I found that helps is that I started giving them a bath in the mornings instead of evenings. I'm usually so exhausted by the evening that I just don't have the energy for a bath. Now I do it in the mornings at bedtime it's just a quick wash, pj's and bed and it's soooo much easier!

I know it might not suit everyone and it doesn't affect their sleep at all so just a thought for you!

Wow that was a really long day, both girls were really grizzly,(dd1teeth, dd2tummy pains). Did finally manage to get out of house, as advised, but not until about 3.30. Had magnificent brownie in posh deli in village, so all going well until dd2 had an enormous poo-tastrophe, ds1 unravelled whole roll of toilet paper in toilet, whilst trying to change ds2, then discovered a pot of grapes, which she tipped all over the floor. ds1 screaming too much for a bath, but has fallen asleep - phew! days like today are so hard, but I know how lucky we are, we didn't think we could have any children, it took us 7 years to have ds1,so when our surprise ds2 came along we were over the moon!I'm hoping that small age gap means they will be close. Ds1's first word was her sisters name, about a week after she was born, and being the huge hormonal mess that I was (am?) I cried buckets, so, no petitfilou not cheesey at all.Try not to imagine a time of no daytime nap, too much for me at the moment! But I do like the idea of the morning bath, may well give it a go.

I have two boys (18 months apart) and I HAVE to go out with them every day. If I don't I go bunkers, and so do they. We go for walks, at the cafe (two of our local cafes have little play areas!), to the swing park, to the big park where there's a lake, to the football pitch, to the cricket club, today we went to the tennis club and watched some tennis (very nice day here). Anything really to keep us out of the house. When we are in, we play in the garden even if it rains (DS2 is only 6 months old so he stays in his buggy looking at the trees). Going out is what keeps me sain, otherwise I would go mad.

I have an 18mth old and a 11wk old and have re discovered bach rescue remedy. Life saver !!

Oh and lots of things went out the window when DS2 arrived. We alternate bath nights (That way they only get a bath every 2 nights, but it's a lot less chaotic). They both wear the same size nappy (slim 2 year old, very chunky 6 month old!) the house is a tip, and I have been on ironing strike for the last 6 months. They wear the same clothes until they are genuinely dirty. We watch CBEEBIES and have a couple of DVDs when things get mad.

Hiya, mine are 15 months apart (20 mnths and 5 months) and I love it but often do stop and cry from the fact that it is non stop and energy levels feel like they are always teetering on empty. Funnily, when I do stop and cry, I feel better after. It is slowly getting easier (or I'm getting used to them together) but I try and get as much support as poss from hubby, neighbours and friends so that I have a spare pair of hands whenever poss. Dont regret it for a minute tho

Very nice to hear from other mums with 2 close together (we moved when dd2 was 8 weeks old, and haven't really made many mumfriends, and really miss our old ones). Blueberrypancake, I want to live where you do, it sounds lovely! We do get out most days, today was a bit of an oddity, we had to wait in for a builder (our lives are pretty chaotic at moment, recent move, building work, babies aagh!),Ah rescue remedy,I'd forgotten all about that-trip to the chemist tomorrow then.

Empathise entirely, my two are 15 mnths apart 2y8m and 16mnths. Life can be really tough and I can understand your need to just cry. Having two to me was a big shock and having 2 under 2 is demanding and exhausting. I have let things go round the house, but it is definately getting better. The boys 'play' together - normally jumping off the sofa but at least they are amused. Bedtime has got easier. We have 'naked running' before bathtime (don't ask!! - not me ) and then bathtime together, then stories and milk on mummies bed then straight to bed.

Great things about a small age gap;
They should have the same interests as they get older / maybe even same freinds
They will always have a pal on holiday with them
You always get respect from singleton mums
They look cute together
You've done your family bit now and can realx and enjoy instead of wrrying about when to have the next kids

I have a DS 3.5 year old and a DD 13 month old. They are hard work and DD is like a whirlwind around the house. Emptying out my kitchen cupboards, toys all over the place. DS is a typical boy very hyper. My DH works in London so commutes every day and is not back until 7.30-8 every night so i have to do the bedtime routine by myself which i find the worst time of day. I have days when i just break down and cry but then i look at my two lovely kids and the mess they have created and i find myself cying tears of happiness.

I feel tearful reading this thread. It is so hard and so wonderful at the same time. I feel desperately that we were not supposed to have to do this alone - it is not a one person job. Sometimes I want to live in a commune!

hazeyjane huge hello and hugs to you.
I have 3 children, a son who was 4 yesterday, daughter 1 who is 21months and daughter 2 who is 9mths.

Can I join in too? Bit of a fraud really as only one ds 12m but really broody for another! Not sure if this thread is putting me off though

I'm with gorgeousmum on the commune thingy!

what an amateur I feel - I have days with stress & tears with just the one (though some say my DP counts as another!) so my heart goes out to all doing the juggling act

Know what you mean about having to let things go, I sometimes feel like I'm having to sail through the day, and sometimes the waters are very choppy (dd1 having huge tantrum,whilst dd2 is having to be rocked to sleep in my arms), and sometimes the sea is lovely and calm (dd1+dd2 sat on my lap - i'm still carrying a little baby weight! - and dd1 gives dd2 a great big kiss - aah). I do seem to terrify mums of one, as if I'm a vision of a future they would rather avoid, but it does feel amazing to have gone from a childless couple to a family of four in two years!BTW I wake up every morning wondering which Cbeebies song is stuck in my head, it is a lifesaver.Well dd2 waking up a couple of times a night at the moment, so will say goodnight, heres to a nice calm sea tomorrow!

Oh Hazyjane you are not a picture of that to be avoided at all! If anything I am secretly envious! You've been brave enough to take the plunge and, (not an expert I know) but fwiw, it's all hard work this parenting lark, for some more than others granted.

I know it's hard not knowing many mums, and living in a village - I seemed to lose touch with any mums that I met through antinatal when I went back to work, but I think I'm right in picking up from others that its about getting out there and wearing the little buggers out! My sister had twins and this has been her prime advice to me.

Hope you find some new ways of dealing with things soon - do you get much "me" time? X

we should carry on this thread as a way to vent !!

dd1 spent all morning puking. too much crap food yesterday as had friend round. Bless her. Back in bed at mo.

It is very hard but when they are sweet together it really rewards you and makes it worthwhile.

Oh do please carry on venting - don't mean to hijack - just don't want HJ to feel any worse by my perhaps insensitive joke about this putting me off! Hope to vent like this too when I eventually become a mum of 2, will feel the same way I'm sure......

Hello, agree that it would be nice to carry on this thread. Sometimes spend the whole day on my own with the girls (who are delightful company - most of the time), so its nice to log on and see that there are other people out there having similar days. Also sometimes I feel other mums can be a bit judgemental, usually when dd1 is having tantrum and is lying in middle of pavement, whilst dd2 is screaming in back of buggy, so its nice to come on here and be supportive of each other. Had a comment earlier about giving into dd1 in one of our many minor battles of the day, and felt really crap afterwards.Snotonmyshoulder (can I call u snot for short?)I really hope i haven't put you off having another one soon, I can honestly say I have never been happier in my life, with my lovely family (its just that i've also never been so knackered!). Me time at moment is usually a half hour on mumsnet, and hopefully watching Ugly Betty with glass of wine tonight. BTW so far today has been a really good day.

Does anyone else really struggle when one babe wakes the other from their nap. That just happened to me and I just end up crying cos I so need the time when they sleep to recharge.