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Original poster

A clueless Miaou is about to start potty-training ds1 and would like some advice/tips

42 replies

Miaou · 11/10/2007 13:04

Despite having two dds I can't remember a single thing about potty training (was it so bad that I wiped it from my memory I wonder ?!). Ds is showing some signs of being ready and doesn't like wearing nappies (and hates having it changed) so I'm willing to give it a try.

OK so some questions.

How do I start? Do I go cold turkey and put him straight into pants or do I do it gradually?

If gradually, what is the best way to start? Running around in the buff at bedtime/morning and encourage him to use it, then put him in nappies for the rest of the day?

Is it better to arrange to be at home for the first few days (actually I think I can answer that one myself )

I've bought 15 pairs of pants and I think I have about 8-10 pairs of trousers (plus some big boy vests!) - enough?

Any other tips gratefully received! Have been reading through the archives but would still like some help

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bagpuss · 11/10/2007 14:27

Ooh, Miaou, you and me both. I'm about to start potty training ds2 and have bought 16 pairs of underpants today! Do you want to start a support group?

It's a while since I trained my other two but basically just straight in to pants and sit them on as much as possible. We are staying in a lot over the next two weeks but I have also bought some Bright Bots training pants (with a waterproof bit and absorbant bit in them) for when we do need to go out and about. Can't wait until it is all over!

bozza · 11/10/2007 14:32

The way I did it was to encourage potty sitting for a few days and then go cold turkey with a few days at home.

peskipixie · 11/10/2007 14:34

ds has just trained, we found that underpants were bad as he thought he was wearing a nappy so first few days leave them with nothing on at all. i wouldnt do it half and half, sounds a bit confusing. ds hated potty, prob cos he was too big for it (boys are not the same as girls where sitting on potty is concerned, make sure you tuck everything in if you use one!) so we used a bucket so he could stand up like daddy. stayed in house for 3 days, cracked it. no accidents, wahey! he was 3.2. good luck

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Original poster
Miaou · 11/10/2007 15:28

Thanks for the responses! Ds loves his potty - but only sitting on it in his clothes!! Haven't tried him with the pants on yet, may try the in the buff bit just before bed though.

Support group is a good idea bagpuss!

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Brangelina · 11/10/2007 15:31

Cold turkey and nerves of steel worked for us, DD was potty trained in a week. My SIL did the combined with pull ups method and her DD took about 6 mths (but that might have been due to MIL shrieking at her).

IntergalacticWarlock · 11/10/2007 15:32

I need to do it too. DS1 starts nursery in 3 weeks, and they prefer them to be potty trained.

Shit

I have tried about 7 t8mes over the last year, and he wont have any of it

Original poster
Miaou · 12/10/2007 21:26

Hmmm, I'm having second thoughts about his readiness now - he stood next to me today, then I smelt a terrible smell and said to him "have you pooed?" "yes!" he said brightly. . That could have been my new carpet if he hadn't been in a nappy because I was too nervous to try him without!!

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IntergalacticWarlock · 13/10/2007 08:42

Have done away with nappies this morning

There is No Going Back

[scared]

Oh well, my house is only rented, so if he shits of the carpet, I don't care

I'm noy going to waver this time and puit him back in nappies.

No

Original poster
Miaou · 13/10/2007 08:56

ooooh brave IG!!!!

Ds is currently wearing pants and we have been up for nearly an hour and a half now and no accidents yet! Mind you, no wees either so it's only a matter of time!

We've just moved into a new house and for the first time in my life I have new carpets!! Beige ones too!! I must be mental. Currently he is sitting on his little wooden chair colouring with a mat under his chair and his potty right next to him (not that he has sat on it bare-cheeked yet!)

I am still of the mind that we might give this up as a bad job if it all goes pear-shaped ... !

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justaboutmurdering · 13/10/2007 09:04

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Harrogatemum · 13/10/2007 09:06

me me me!! I have DTs (boys) who are 2.11 today. They are just soooo not interested, if I even mention the pants word, they say "no mummy, I want nappy". Great. I have tried 3 times before with no success and am home alone with them and DD for the weekend. Am going to try today so will be good to have some support here!

Frankenwinestein · 13/10/2007 09:20

Poos are for pants are they? Otherwise my immensely successful potty training is actually hideously unsuccessful

Apparently it is common for the pooing to be the last thing they "get".

My tip is to remember it is you that you are training, not your DC's! You just have to train yourself to look out for the wee and poo signs and sit them on the loo when you see them. Eventually, they something clicks in them and they start to tell you.

Good luck!

Frankenwinestein · 13/10/2007 09:21

just delete that random "they" when reading that would you!

justaboutmurdering · 13/10/2007 12:30

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Harrogatemum · 13/10/2007 13:17

well I have given up already. And we only started at 8am today. Both boys wet 4 pairs of pants even though I sat them on the potty umpteen times............and it was right there next to them.

I know people say you should wait until they are "ready" - but how do you know when they are ready? And what if they arent ready until they are 10???!!! (petrified emoticon)

bagpuss · 13/10/2007 13:28

Harrogatemum, my first two were 2.7 and 2.9 respectively when they trained and I'm afraid to say in this house we use bribery. A small sweet is the reward for anything done in the potty or on the loo and then it gets gradually phased out over a few weeks until they are doing everything by themselves. I have chocolate buttons in the cupboard and we start ds2 on Monday. I am not going back! no no no no no

Miaou, I feel for you and your carpets. We have hard floors downstairs and that makes things pretty easy but have had a new stair carpet in the past year and I know that is going to take a few hits .

Original poster
Miaou · 13/10/2007 15:12

Well I have given up already

Only had one accident - he weed, and immediately said "poo mummy" (don't think he is sure of the difference yet!). He did it on a washable mat too so my lovely carpet is still lovely

But it's become very clear that he has no idea yet about sitting on the potty to do a wee/poo - and until he does, there is no point continuing as he will just do them in his clothes! He still refuses to sit on it bare-cheeked, so I am going to work on that before trying again.

Oh and re Tescos - I got 15 pairs of pants for £3!! I was really chuffed to get some with pictures on of dinosaurs and snakes and spacemen, which he was very pleased with, and I didn't pay the premium for advertising bob the builder and Thomas the Tank

Will try again once he has caught on what the potty is for ... in the meantime JAM et al, hijack away!!

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Frankenwinestein · 13/10/2007 21:26

Justabout - I didn't get any poo signs for ages - the first thing I knew about it was the smell! I really do think that it's just all part and parcel of it. If I'm in the same room as him, I see his expression whilst he is trying to poo. If I am not in the room he comes in and tells me he has had a poo, but it's usually just the first bit so now we can ge tthe rest in the potty.

My top tip for you - absolutely no pressure, and no telling off. Just a never mind, just tell mummy next time, and this can feel like ad infinitum. (OK.. the occassional telling off when you are at the end of your tether is acceptable ) I have found that DS doesn't really connect the idea of poo with potty/toilet whereas he does wee, but he hates it in his pants hence we are now down to the first bit and then the confession for the quick trip to drop his friends off at the pool, so to speak.

Totally endorse Bagpusses reward approach too, incidentally! Chocolate button for a chocolate log

Frankenwinestein · 13/10/2007 21:29

Incidentally, Miaou - I seem to recall I sent some of my DS's clothes to you for your DS which means he is much younger than my DS (2.10) so I would personally wait until he is older, so yes! Give in! It's not worth it - boys are supposed to be nowhere near as quick as girls

IntergalacticWarlock · 14/10/2007 07:01

Oh god,

It's a nightmare

DS1 doesn't so much not get it (becuase he does) but he just doesn't want to.

[head in hands]

popsycal · 14/10/2007 07:31

My advice is to wait until they are tearing their nappy off.

DS1 was 2 years 8 motnsh but i was heavily pregnant then had a new born and could not be arsed. When ds2 was a month old, he decided he would give his nappies to ds2. 2 wee accidents and 1 poo one (at the childminders ) and dry at night in a week. For about 3 months prior however, he would have lots of nappy free time and ask for a nappy to wee/poo in then eventually weeing in the potty.

We are at the 'bite the bullet' stage with ds2 now - 2 years 7 months. He is a real striptease artist and will ahppily be nappy free for hours. In the last week,, he has started to wee on the potty. In the last fee days, we have been at home a lot and he has weed each time in the potty. Asks for nappy for a poo but then wants it off. He has also been having a wee before bed and waking with a dry nappy.

So I just need to bite the bullet now as he has pretty much trained himself as ds1 did. Waiting for a few days stretch at half term now.

I couldnt be bothered to force the matter - way too stressful. They have to want to.

Budababe · 14/10/2007 07:33

I think you need to wait till they are ready and you will know because they will start to tell you. I think you will make it more of an issue if you try too early.

I was living in Bulgaria and a Swedish friend told me that they don't potty train as such. They wait till the child says they are ready. As I am a lazy cow and was dreading the whole thing I left it. Then when DS was 2.11 I got the GF book (!) "Potty Training in one week". I ready it on a Friday night and on Sat morning DS got up and said "I don't want to wear nappies any more"! So we put on pants and we had a good day. Also a good day on the Sunday. He regressed on the Monday (laziness I think) and we did a sticker chart and if he had stickers all day and no accidents he had a treat after dinner. We were pretty much all done and dusted in a week and it was pretty painless.

Nettee · 14/10/2007 07:49

sounds good Budababe - am waiting for the day my DS says the same

justaboutmurdering · 14/10/2007 08:27

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Original poster
Miaou · 14/10/2007 08:41

popsy and budabade - that sound idyllic! Thing is, previous experience has led me to force the issue a bit, as neither of my dds made any attempt in the direction of potty training until I said "right that's it, no more nappies!" And I can't remember how old they were but dd2 was already in preschool and still regularly had accidents (ie twice a day) after the age of 3. However they were in disposables so never really knew that they had weed as it still felt dry. Ds1 and 2 are in washables so it is more obvious to them. Fingers crossed that he will get the idea soon then - washing nappies for two is a pain!

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