Postnatal depression & struggling new baby and toddler

[peonies1988]

Hi everyone,

Never been on here before but just wanted to reach out to see if there’s anyone in the same boat. I’m on baby number 2 (4weeks old) and have a 2.5 year old also. Following birth of first DD, I was admitted to a mother and baby unit for postnatal depression and anxiety. Following birth of my second DD, I did okay for the first week or so but have really taken a downward turn and my PND is rearing its horrible head. Doesn’t help that my baby has suspected CMPI and reflux so she has been sooooo unsettled since birth, she also had tongue tie. On top of this, my toddler (like all of them!) is really challenging - I’m really trying to pay her attention and be patient as I know it’s a huge transition for her but I’m honestly struggling SO much, I cry a lot and it seems like everyone else is holding it together. My husband had to come home from work yday because I had a breakdown. I also have terrible mastitis which isn’t helping but would just love to hear from other mamas who’ve got through this period. Please tell me it gets better x

@peonies1988

Oh *@NameChange30* I’m sorry - how long will it take to be removed from her system? Also, do you know how long it takes for the dairy to leave my system? I’m so sorry this has happened to you twice too - maybe we’re in for easy teenagers?! We can hope! xxx

Haha easy teenagers would be great, we can only hope

It takes up to 3 weeks for dairy to leave mum's system completely and another 3 weeks for it to leave baby's system completely. So if you're breastfeeding it can take up to 6 weeks for symptoms to clear up. You should hopefully see an improvement before that (we did before giving the expressed milk 🤦🏻‍♀️) but don't be disheartened if baby still has symptoms before the 6 week mark.

After months of no slip ups, my husband just applied moisturiser to my toddler without washing his hands first and he'd forgotten he'd touched a scrambled egg pan when tidying the kitchen. Cue head to toe hives, a middle of the day bath and piriton.
I really hate allergies.
Easy teens it is! I'm definitely up for that!
I'm having another girl so hopefully they'll still both speak to me about what's going on with them during those years....

OP there is another thing I wanted to mention which is the fluoxetine, did you discuss it with your GP/other HCP? I don't think it's ideal to take it when pregnant or breastfeeding but you do have to weigh up the risks v benefits and it might have been agreed that it was better for you to keep taking it? I think the safest antidepressant is sertraline but it might not be appropriate for you to change meds?

Hey @NameChange30 thanks so much for thinking of that. I discussed with psychiatrist and they did say it passes into the milk in small amounts and that baby may be fussy when withdrawn from breast milk for a few days. She felt strongly that benefits outweighed risks for me though. I did try sertraline previously but sadly it didn’t agree with me xxxx

Fair enough, I had a feeling you would have already discussed it

How are you doing OP and Yuko?

I'm feeling down today, struggling with the sleep deprivation and relentless rain Lockdown isn't helping either as it's difficult to entertain DC1 with so few indoor activities and groups. We like to get him out of the house at least once a day but there's only so much puddle jumping in the lashing rain you can do!

Hi @NameChange30 so sorry I’ve just seen this, it’s been a really hard day here too with toddler being bored and therefore misbehaving and baby wanting to feed and feed feed. Our house is like a bomb site too 😭 so sorry you’re feeling down today, do you ever express a night feed so partner can help out? How’s little one doing at night? Xxx

Hi everyone, I'm feeling pretty fed up today too. So hard to occupy the toddler in this weather and I'm exhausted. Just desperate to get the baby out now. One week to go until my induction.
My partner has just come down with a cold (sneezy; no cough or anything luckily) so I'm stressed that due to the restrictions I'll end up delivering alone.
Ugh. What a shit year all round. X

@peonies1988 I'm so sorry you're going through this again, I'm sending you the biggest hugs 🤗🤗🤗 Ive a history with depression & and have pnd after having my ds. Not quite as bad as yours but I am on antidepressants & they've helped a great deal! Have you spoken to your gp or health visitor?

Hi @YukoandHiro I’m so sorry I only just saw your post, it’s been a hard few days. How are you feeling now? Xxxx

Hi @Rainbowsparklesdust1921 thanks so much for getting in touch. Yes I’m under the care of the peri natal mental health team who’ve been wonderful xxx

Sorry it's taken me a few days to reply to your kind message, OP. Been struggling with an unsettled baby and sleep deprivation. The nights are mixed but mostly bad, last night was terrible 😭 I haven't been expressing but I think I should and it's probably time to introduce a bottle, I don't want to leave it so late that baby refuses.

OP and Yuko, sorry you both had tough days on Sunday too. How have you been since then? Yuko hope your partner is recovering from his cold and will get the all clear for Monday! 🤞

Wonder if I can join this thread too? Also have a toddler (3yo DD) and DD2 is 7 weeks old. I had moderate PND first time round, and have suffered (albeit not as badly) this time too. Currently managing ok on citalopram. DD2 has just been diagnosed with reflux and we will start omeprazole today.

@NameChange30 I think I recognise you from the September thread? I had DD in August at 37 weeks due to obstetric cholestasis, and dropped off that thread quite early on.

Hope everyone here is doing OK today.

Due to be induced tomorrow. Really thought I would have gone spontaneously by now, but no such luck!

Starting to feel a little nervous. I'm only 39+1 so worried body isn't quite ready, but at least I've done it before so there should be some muscle memory.

First birth was fairly awful, we spent the best part of a month in hospital and time on NICU, so just wishing for something straightforward. In a way the pain is the least of my worries. I just want to get in and out

Best of luck Yuko.

Thanks @NameChange30 - I'm hooked up to the monitors now, getting checked before we get properly started. Really really want to get on with it now!!

Remember second/subsequent births are usually easier and more straightforward. Tell yourself positive things and visualise having baby in your arms after everything going smoothly. Even if that doesn't actually happen it should keep you calmer while you're waiting. I'll be thinking of you. You've got this 💪

Wishing you all the best for your induction today. Xx

Hello @Sipperskipper! Sorry I didn't reply to your message the other day, I do remember you - I think from the September thread for second(/third/etc) time mums?!

Congrats on the birth of DD2! Sorry about her reflux and your PND. My DD has reflux too and I am just waiting to see if it improves after 6 weeks of being dairy free before we consider medication. I am not on antidepressants either but might consider it. Just waiting for the 6-8 week check (which my doctors aren't doing until 8 weeks) so I can discuss both with the GP.

@peonies1988 how are you doing?

Good luck @YukoandHiro you’ve absolutely got this! I was induced with my first so I absolutely understand your concerns, just remember you’re stronger than you think and your baby can’t wait to meet you! And remember - you know your body better than anyone else. Sending you love and strength xxxxx

@Sipperskipper I’m so sorry you’re struggling too, it’s the hardest time, always here if you want to chat/vent xxxx

Nothing much happening yet apart from cramps but it's all manageable so far. Really hoping things pick up before 8pm when DH gets kicked out for the night

Oh god @YukoandHiro what a horrible bloody time, this is the last thing new mums/mums to be should be worrying about. Cramping is a good start. Thinking of you and hoping everything goes well. You’ve got this!!!! X

I know, it's so frustrating. I'm contracting every 5 mins or so, but really want it to be so obviously established that he can't be sent home in 2 hours' time.

Hmm, it must be stressful labouring to a deadline! Still it sounds like things are progressing nicely. If you're still not quite there by 8pm, maybe he could stay nearby so he can come straight back in as soon as he's allowed? Also I would be very tempted to just refuse to let him leave Or at least insist on half hourly progress reviews so he could be allowed back in ASAP.

@YukoandHiro
How did it go?! Hope all went ok and you and baby are well.