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Original poster

Hardest Thing About Being A Parent?

32 replies

EternalOptimist7 · 30/09/2020 15:09

At the moment I would say it’s trying to deal with boundary pushing. DD11 is very strong willed to start with then add in hormones, starting year 7 & having to self isolate because a fellow pupil has tested positive & it’s a tough old time. Needless to say I am tending to open a bottle of wine rather early!

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Lockdownseperation · 30/09/2020 15:16

The fact that it is constant.

Graphista · 30/09/2020 15:19

Each stage seems the hardest at the time you're going through it, then you look back and it doesn't seem as bad as it did at the time...

That said I'm finding my current stage (dd left home last year and has now decided to return to studying and moved to a different part of the country) the hardest.

So I would say "letting go" Sad

She's an adult now but she still finds certain things difficult but I can't "fix" things for her now and that's so so hard.

Plus I miss her heaps SadSad

PaddyF0dder · 30/09/2020 15:21

For us, just the lack of respite.

3 very young kids,’one with ASD. No family support. No breaks or nights off or babysitting. We just trundle along. I love my kids to bits. But we, as a couple, have so little time for ourselves. It’s really hard.

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INeedNewShoes · 30/09/2020 15:30

The hardest thing for me by far is the constant decision making.

Parenting just seems to be a constant string of decisions from the tiny decisions (e.g. should I let DD (3) go out wearing that incredibly mismatched outfit she's chosen), to the big decisions (e.g. should I move us away from our support network to somewhere I can afford a better quality of life for us).

tempnamechange98765 · 30/09/2020 22:25

Having to carry on as normal and not getting a break when you're ill. Worst part, hands down.

Bupkis · 30/09/2020 22:30

In no particular order....

Worry over -
School
Health
Appointments
Internet/screen time
Anxiety
More appointments
More school stuff
Lack of sleep
The sheer weight of responsibility
Being the font of all...knowledge/snacks/peacemaking
Having to be the adult when I am better at fucking about being stupid

Peacenquiet2 · 30/09/2020 22:52

The endless worry

KylieKangaroo · 30/09/2020 22:55

The constant talking, my DD never stops and I know one day she won't want to talk to me but right now it does my head in. She literally does not stop.

Babyboomtastic · 30/09/2020 22:58

That the show has to go on...

Illness, you still need to care for your children.
Bereavement, you still need to care for your children.
Work stress and deadlines, you still need to care for your children.
Totally burnt out, you still need to care for your children.

eurochick · 30/09/2020 23:34

The relentlessness.

afrikat · 01/10/2020 00:00

Retlentless is the best way to some it up

afrikat · 01/10/2020 00:00

*sum it up

Susannahmoody · 01/10/2020 01:43

Lack of sleep
Worry
Making all the decisions
Making sure they're bathed, fed, well, sleeping OK, warm enough, cool enough etc etc.
The sense of responsibility, and it's constant

fonxey · 01/10/2020 07:15

Worrying whether you are doing the right thing or not.

bunnyontheshelf · 01/10/2020 07:17

The worry about everything. Also the lack of sleep.

Pantheon · 01/10/2020 08:15

Having to look after your dc when you're ill
The lack of sleep in the early months/years
Lack of time to yourself/for you as a couple
It is worth it though. But those are what I find hardest.

Worrywartyy · 01/10/2020 11:44

Mine has to be the lack of me time.
I LOVE spending time with myself, a day at home with no interruptions to clean, binge watch tv shows or even sleep is my idea of heaven.
I crave a day like that so much!

Also agree with the being ill and having to carry on as usual, especially when your male other half gets a cold and spends the week in bed but you catch the same cold and its business as usual because nobody else is going to run the house.

Oh and one more, having to cook dinner every single bloody night, sometimes I just want to drink a bottle of wine for dinner and not have to cook something that they refuse to eat most of the time anyway worry about what everyone is having.

(I'm not as selfish as this post is making me out to be lol!)

Bookaholic73 · 01/10/2020 11:47

In my experience, the hardest part is when they start being independent, so about 16+
You have to hope that they’ve taken on board all the stuff you’ve taught them, make sensible decisions in life by themselves, and be a generally decent human being.

DaisyandRoses · 01/10/2020 11:48

Worrying, coping with a lot of illness/ cold and having no time to rest.

Sharing your food. The other day, I thought DD was down for her nap on the sofa. So I snuck into the kitchen to eat some of my snacks, then before I know it- there she is. And I had to share (she basically ate all of it). Honestly I was close to tears (a longgg day with DH being away I really wanted that biscuit).

SimonJT · 01/10/2020 17:23

Worry, its constant.

The pain if something goes wrong, they’re ill etc.

Having to be on your A game everyday.

catpoooffender · 01/10/2020 23:26

For me, the endless worry about something bad happening to him (which pretty much started the day I had my first positive pregnancy test). Or even something making him sad. I fear him being bullied when he's older, fear him not making friends easily, fear him being anything but happy and healthy 😞

QueSera · 01/10/2020 23:32

EVERYTHING about it.

caringcarer · 02/10/2020 00:15

The hardest thing for me is seeing my foster child being denied opportunities that should be a right for every child. Child has SN but is very good at some things like Sport, Maths and Science. He goes to a special school and we kept asking about qualifications and exams but we're repeatedly told all in good time. In Year 9 we found his school never teach GCSE exam specification or enter children for GCSE exams in any subject until they are in Year 13 then only Art and a few may take Biology. The child swims at district level, plays cricket at county level and won both 200m and 800m at sports day, competes in Aquathlons and has won one and second in another last year and he trampolines, ice skates, plays tennis for fun. He is better at sport than any of his friends yet he won't be allowed to do Sport BTEC and they will. I have looked at the specification and I know he would love it and could easily do it. He could do Maths and Science too. His tutor says he is perfectly capable. I moved him to another special school which did allow Kids to do GCSE including BTEC Sport. Now we are told because of Covid this is no longer possible. I feel so upset and feel like I have failed him. He still thinks he will do it and I have complained in writing to headteacher that it is unfair to withdraw offer from him. He does about 10 hours sports a week outside of school. How do I tell him his friends can do it but he can't?

apumpkinaday · 02/10/2020 00:17

Lack of sleep for me at the minute. Single mom to a 3 and 1 year old. They will come into my bed at about 11, leave me no space to sleep and then wake me up at 5

nancy75 · 02/10/2020 00:28

I found the first year the loneliest, most stressful time of my life. The constant fear that something was wrong or could go wrong coupled with the constant exhaustion.
We’re in the teenage years now, in a couple of years I’ll have to let her go off to live her own life.
I want her experience everything great in the world but part of me is dreading how much I’ll miss her not being at home

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