Fed up of negative comments about boys

[Greenleaves20]

I’ve got one DS who is 19 months old who is an absolutely joyful and amazing boy. We had IVF to have him and we feel so lucky and grateful he’s here. However, there have been comments from different people ranging from good friends to complete strangers about having boys and that girls are much preferred. Someone even said they’d rather not have children than have a boy. No one seems to be able to explain why but from what I’ve read, people seem to think girls are easier, will be in better contact etc with family when they leave home and girls are better as carers etc. I just find this sort of stereotyping really quite annoying to be honest. I’m sure my LB will enjoy ‘girls’ activities if I give him the chance. It puts girls and women in those stereotyped roles from the very start! Has anyone else found this?

How odd. I've got a boy and couldn't be happier.

Just think, no suffocating pink, no My little pony, no vile LellyKelly shoes.

I understand what your saying and to an extent I am probably guilty of it myself, but I feel its down to social stereotypes and people that enforce them that are the problem, the majority of boys I know are stereotypical boys, the push, they rough and tumble, they play fight, while the parents smile idiotically claiming boys will be boys. I see many girls who are told not to climb trees in case they hurt themselves, be kind, smile sweetly.
They are treated differently from birth. It's very sad and restrictive and I get many comments about how dd loves to play in mud don't I hate how dirty she gets and doesn't like playing with dolls isn't that strange? again it's just all bullshit stereotypes.

Not seen such comments with having 1 boy- if you have 2 then yes the comments seemingly roll in. But I will say, as someone expecting her 2nd girl- the comments seem to be at people having 2 the same sex. I was told “it will be ok” by a checkout woman as Sainsbury’s

There may be a slightly bias towards having girls in the west vs the boy bias on the east- I know that from someone who works for a company that works heavily across India and China.

I've never had a preference either way but then again like you I've had to go through 5 rounds of IVF and lost 7 babies in that time. Just being able to take a healthy baby home is enough for me

I do have a slight preference for girls but I think that's mainly because I understand girls, I've been one. They're more of a known quantity.
Also, I do have some close friends with boys who are/have been extremely challenging.
It's a shame though because they are also lovely, affectionate and funny and bring a lot of joy.
I'd be happy with either, but girls do slightly have the edge.

I think people with all kids the same sex also get similar comments. I have a mixture which seems to be considered the gold standard regardless of whether or not my sons play sport and my daughter is into fashion. While I wouldn't change my kids for the world you'd think that there were major pros to children being the same sex ?

Once my kids leave I think my sons are less likely to text and call but more likely to visit me in person than my daughter. They are teens/young adults so I have a good idea on their personalities.

@OnlyFoolsnMothers would follow from that. It's a cultural stereotype. In the West - culturally (though not historically) its the women who are meant to look after their elderly parents, elsewhere it tends to be the men as traditionally they are the ones with the financial means to do so. Its not an inherent thing but more of a cultural one.

I love having my DC - I was a girl and loved pretty dresses but also spent most of the time running around and bouncing off walls. my parents were very tired...all the damn time...so cant say that they got a usual girl.

When people says such things they talk in generalities whereas for us parents - we dont get a boy or a girl but an actual human being that we develop a relationship with and such statements become completely meaningless.

I had the opposite - when I had my third girl baby people commiserated with me, assuming I had been wanting a boy - to hell with them, I say!!

I have three boys so I get lots of sympathetic head tilts!!

I kind of got influenced by that and was really sad not to have a daughter for a while. However, over lockdown things have changed for me - I’ve realised that my kids are completely different people from one another and all of them have many of the positive and negative traits typically associated with girls and also they have many of the positive and negative traits typically associated with boys. But each of them has a different mixture of all these traits and they are all individually lovely little people!

zurich09 so true! Most people I know seem to be more closely aligned to the mothers side.
My cab driver today asked what I was having and what I had, on hearing two girls he said “oh well as long as they’re healthy”....I’m going to start saying I don’t know the sex

I am glad I have my loving and sweet natured DS, DD is of course wonderful but very high maintenance. Dresses and my little pony come with a fierce temper in my case!

Dont they say boys are more challenging at at the start but girls more challenging at teenagers? Personally I think it depends on the child in question as they are all different. I have 2 boys and wouldnt have it any other way and wouldnt want a girl because I have so much fun with my boys!

as*

Who the fuck says girls are easier??? Have they ever met one?

I have a DD and have very much been told that boys are much better and far easier going.

DD is a legitimate nightmare 70% of the time and all girls I know are.

No offence but I don’t appreciate that in bigging up boys we have to put down having a girl.
Every child is different and both sexes throw up challenges.

I have a boy and always wanted a boy, if I could choose my next baby I would choose another boy!
I do hear comments too, assuming as I'm a girl I would want a girl. For example my MIL said its nice my dh can watch boy TV with him and if only I had a girl to watch girl TV with... he's 1 years old

At my sons birthday party one of the mums was saying she never dared have another baby as she didn't want to risk having another baby as she would be devastated to have a boy as all she wanted was 'princesses'

It's totally bizarre. What happens if her daughter doesn't want to wear dresses or go shopping? Each child is so different it's a shame to expect them to live by gender stereotypes

I find society is more obsessed with having (at least) one of each. The number of people who congratulated me in having one of each was really odd. Not like I influenced the outcome!

'have a DD and have very much been told that boys are much better and far easier going.'

It depends on the child I have 2 boys and they are very much different to each other. It is the child not the sex. People will say that girls are easier at the start (I think they just say that about the opposite of what ever you have) I notice it seems to be older people that say that maybe based on outdated stereotypes of loud boisterous boys and polite quiet girls (complete bonkers!)

I have 2 boys and must say I do get a lot of comments and it does get to me. It's especially the stereotype of girls being best friends with their DM for life. Ive had friends say oh I hope you're a good MIL one day. Wtf.

I have one of each, my daughter is an adult now but was hard work during puberty, lots of tears and tantrums over not very much at all. My son is a breeze in comparison but I am well aware that issues with boys can come later so we will see. But that is only my experience, as a previous poster said it depends on the child, my daughter was feisty and independent from a young age, my son has always been mellow.

I have two boys and get comments, not often but have done occasionally, I always brush it off by saying that I'm very happy with boys and I'd rather have a teenage boy than a teenage girl! If I were to ever have another child I'd honestly rather have another boy than a girl

So all these people who are saying these things to you think that girls are better because they will become their carers in their old age? Poor kids! I sometimes wonder if people just say things for conversation, looking at the comments here it seems that whatever combination you have someone will have to say something! Keep having fun with your gorgeous little boy

Boys are the best OP - but I would say that as a mum of boys 😁

I think it's same sex siblings that people comment on.

Dd2 wasn't even born when my elderly neighbour said never mind, you can go again for a ds for dh.

I told her that I had very much wanted another girl and would go again if DC3 could be guaranteed to be dd3.

That's because I wanted same sex dc. I would have felt the same if dd1 was ds1.

I actually secretly feel sorry for my friends who only have 2 DC and it's dd/ds 🤐