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Original poster

To feel I can’t leave the house

51 replies

newmum234 · 13/09/2020 15:03

DS has a nap once every two hours. He won’t nap in the pram or his sling - only his cot at home. The last couple of times I’ve tried to take him out for any longer than an hour (roughly all I’ve got left before the next nap once I’ve fed, changed him etc) he’s missed a nap due to not being able to sleep when out. Both times he’s become extremely overtired and grumpy and very difficult to settle to sleep by the time we get home. So what’s the solution to this - do I have to forget about leaving the house for longer than an hour until he’s old enough to drop a nap, whenever that may be?

Also, I was hoping to book a couple of baby classes, but if these coincide with his nap times (which I can’t predict as they vary each day) then what am I meant to do? Feeling a bit trapped right now

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Original poster

newmum234 · 13/09/2020 15:04

He’s almost 5 months old...

OP posts:

OntheWaves40 · 13/09/2020 15:06

What kind of pram does he have? Is it a flatbed one?

Original poster

newmum234 · 13/09/2020 15:07

Yes, he’s still in his bassinet as the pram instructions say not to convert to a seat until 6 months.

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Caspianberg · 13/09/2020 15:12

Baby similar age here and luckily he does nap in pram.

But we do all daytime naps in his pram, even at home. Is that an option for you to try? Aim to do at least half of his naps at home in the pram, so he gets used to it for out and about. Maybe always his first nap in pram to start with, and walk him around house or garden until he settles.

FYI, the pram bassinet, we still have ours in it for now, but he’s rather long so I don’t think we will get to 6 months, probably only a few more weeks max ( he’s 19 weeks)

Aaliyahhh · 13/09/2020 15:12

Might he fall asleep in the sling if you just give it another half hour or so? Otherwise I'd just go out for the short outings - it won't be forever - things get much easier once they drop down to one nap, and then no nap at all.

Original poster

newmum234 · 13/09/2020 15:14

Do babies fall asleep in the upright pram seats? I can’t fall asleep while sitting up!

OP posts:

Ihaveoflate · 13/09/2020 15:14

I don't have a solution as I was in the same position at 5 months. We just always worked around naps and stayed local. At 6 months naps became more predictable and wake times lengthened. You're nearly there - by 8 months you'll probably have just 2 predictable naps, which does free you up more.

FirelighterGirl · 13/09/2020 15:15

I think the stage won't last too long.

Loads of 'perfect parents' will be along soon to tell you that you should make baby fit in with you/ babies are portable etc.

This only works if you have that model of baby.

Go with it if it works for you.

ClarencesMum · 13/09/2020 15:17

My second had teo long naps like clockwork but add in the school runs I had to do it meant I was stuck in the house too! It passed, it was fine. We snuggled and I ate biscuits.

SimpleComforts · 13/09/2020 15:18

I bet he's the first? If he was the second he'd have to fit in with DC1's routine and activities and he would learn to nap in the pram.

It's up to you, but if you take him out at nap time for a few days, even though it may be difficult for a while, he will get used to it.

What would you do if you were on holiday, for example?

YoBeaches · 13/09/2020 15:19

I switched to the pram seat at 5months as dd stopped liking being flat in the bassinet where she couldn't see stuff. The pram seat can be positioned into lie back so basically flat. She's 14 months now and still naps comfortably in that position.

Worth trying?

Caspianberg · 13/09/2020 15:20

I don’t think babies sleep upright, but I’m guessing some might prefer the next stage seat positioning but laid down? Not sure but maybe worth a try depending on what pram you have.

Original poster

newmum234 · 13/09/2020 15:27

But we do all daytime naps in his pram, even at home. Is that an option for you to try?

I thought I was doing the right thing by getting him to nap in his cot so he’d sleep well in it at night - clearly not!

What am I meant to do about baby classes? I thought it would be lovely to go to a few, but if it means that DS will have to go three hours between naps, should I not go?

I should add that he will nap for a short time in his pram or sling, but basically as soon as we stop walking he’s wide awake.

OP posts:

Lockdownmummy · 13/09/2020 15:36

He seems to be napping a lot for his age... how many naps will he have in a day? By comparison, my 4 month old has three naps so is awake for 2.5-3 hrs at a time (but he does fight naps)

I would try to get to a baby class if you are keen just be flexible - classes only tend to be 40 mins or so. For example we are doing something tomorrow morning which would be during his morning nap - I’m going to let him sleep right up to the start and have a little snooze after if he wants to.

HereForTheTinsel · 13/09/2020 15:43

My son never napped in the bassinet in fact he hated it and it caused me so much stress. Once I changed to the seat part of the pram he napped like a pro in the reclined position, I think it was the stability of feeling strapped it that did it for him.

We started baby sensory when he was ten weeks old and tbh it was a faff. I'd be messaging the other mums and we would all be frantically rocking babies in arms for a nap before the class started. Often, my son would fall asleep during the class. Do speak to the leaders as I found the age appropriate class was at an awkward time and she let us attend the earlier one, which I found to be no different.
Don't feel guilty if you don't get to groups when they're young. You can create the same activities at home and maybe try groups once baby is in a more solid routine, dropped a nap etc?

FizzingWhizzbee123 · 13/09/2020 15:46

Mine was like this. He really really wouldn’t sleep in a sling, pram or car seat. Honestly, I just kept close to hold for little outings and became a slave to his nap schedule. It just wasn’t worth the overtired meltdowns.

He dropped the third nap around 6/7 months which gave me a bigger window after his lunch nap and it became easier to get out for a bit in the afternoons then.

Ihaveoflate · 13/09/2020 16:05

Do you really have to go to groups? We never did any for this reason - they were all at awkward times. At 5 months my baby could only be awake 1.5 - 2 hrs max.

If it's just going to cause you stress, then why bother when you wouldn't enjoy it? Just go for walks, coffees and meet friends at convenient times until baby is down to 2 naps. It really won't be long; they change very quickly at that age.

Aaliyahhh · 13/09/2020 16:24

if it means that DS will have to go three hours between naps, should I not go?

Of course every baby is different and you know yours best, but I found three hours between naps acceptable at that age.

basically as soon as we stop walking he’s wide awake

For pram/sling naps I actually would just walk around for the whole nap so DD wouldn't wake up (or sit on a bench and rock pram back and forth / stand with the sling while doing the mum sway) - really lovely for getting fit again, for meeting up with other mums and just walk, and especially handy maybe now what with outdoor meetings and distancing etc?

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 13/09/2020 19:06

My son is almost 6 months old, and if he went 3 hours inbetween naps he'd be an overtired mess. He can go 2.5hrs IF hes really engaged in something.

OP dont compare your baby to others. You know him best.

Original poster

newmum234 · 13/09/2020 19:19

To those asking if I have to go to groups... well I don’t have to, but would really like to if I could, especially after so long in lockdown...

OP posts:

Morred · 13/09/2020 19:23

What happens if he misses a nap? You might find that he finds baby classes really engaging, stays awake during those and then naps on the way home, or misses a nap or takes his next nap a bit early. (If he turns into a raging cry monster if he misses a nap then it’s not so good.)

Does he sleep in the car? I used to put DS in the car for a nap, drive somewhere and then sit in the car and read until he woke up. Then do an activity there (walk at a nature reserve, sit and people watch in a cafe, etc) and then drive back.

newsheadlines · 13/09/2020 21:48

ours wouldnt sleep out and I never went to any groups till mine dropped to one nap. it's a bit of a myth that all babies are portable.lots arent and honestly they might not get used to it. you might just end up with a very cranky baby all the time.

Original poster

newmum234 · 13/09/2020 22:44

ours wouldnt sleep out and I never went to any groups till mine dropped to one nap.

Am feeling so miserable right now. I can’t believe that I’m not able to leave the house for more than 1 hour at a time - and that baby groups are out!

OP posts:

renallychallenged · 13/09/2020 22:51

@newmum234

ours wouldnt sleep out and I never went to any groups till mine dropped to one nap.

Am feeling so miserable right now. I can’t believe that I’m not able to leave the house for more than 1 hour at a time - and that baby groups are out!

Of course you're allowed to leave the house.

It's your baby, you can do it anyway that suits you. Great that the cot naps have worked so well but to now. But now it's not working for you - so change it! Let him nap in the buggy or the car. Even if it's a shorter nap or whatever in the grand scheme of life it doesn't matter but you will feel better for getting out.

If this was a 2nd or 3rd baby he would be out on schools runs / after school activities etc. You can still have a life, don't let your anxiety over rule.

newsheadlines · 13/09/2020 22:52

Or maybe you should give it a go and see how it goes.

mine went totally hysterical when over tired so honestly it just wasnt worth it for me, plus I had a super stressful job etc so couldnt cope with a screaming kid who I knew was fine if only he slept at home.

but i definitively found it v isolating though did have my job (went back to work at 4months or even earlier cant quite remember). was super happy my kid finally dropped his final nap at two in March and then covid...so I do know how you feel. Moving to a new area and absolutely no idea how I will ever meet anyone or find anyone local.

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