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Parenting

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Original poster

Feeling forced to leave my baby

69 replies

Gemc8905 · 13/09/2020 07:02

My baby is 8months old, my partner is being really pushy on me leaving her, as is his family. Iv explained I don’t feel ready, and I won’t be pushed into leaving her..... but now he’s called me pathetic and said I need to grow up..... am I being to clingy?

OP posts:

YoBeaches · 13/09/2020 08:07

Why don't you suggest he starts by having her a day on his own first, to make sure he understands her routine, feeding etc in reality to understand how challenging it can be all day? The issue really is you don't feel he knows how to look after his own child. You need to solve this. It's not unusual but it will get worse if it's now dealt with now.

WildGeece · 13/09/2020 08:11

Regardless of the rule of 6, if you're not comfortable with it, don't do it. 8 months old is still really tiny and if it's not necessary and you don't feel you need it, don't worry about the idea of baby being "clingy" - you're laying great foundations for your attachment to baby which will support them to be a confident child and adult. Go with your instinct and don't let yourself be convinced otherwise!

custardbear · 13/09/2020 08:13

He needs to grow up, you can't be out on the lash and look after an 8 month old! If he had to carry it change your baby there's a greater chance he can drop her or damage her - either be on the piss or be a dad, not both together.

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MindyStClaire · 13/09/2020 08:52

Leaving covid aside for a second, I think it's terrible that you don't feel able to leave an eight month old baby with their father. That's awful. He needs to step up. When I think about leaving DC, it doesn't count if they're just home with DH! That to me means babysitters, grandparents, nursery etc.

CodenameVillanelle · 13/09/2020 08:54

Don't leave your baby but definitely leave him, he's horrible

Original poster

Gemc8905 · 13/09/2020 09:17

Iv suggested he have her at home before but he works so much he’s too tired or he gets home too late and she’s in bed. I feel awful that I feel I can’t leave him with his own daughter but well he simply isn’t the dad I expected him to be, what he told me he would be

OP posts:

fonxey · 13/09/2020 09:47

The only person is be leaving would be him. There's no way is leave a baby with someone whilst they were drinking alcohol. Sorry, your partner doubts pretty thick.

It's a bit of a red flag of you can't trust him with his own child. I'm sorry for your situation.

GarlicMcAtackney · 13/09/2020 10:04

Your boyfriend is scum, instead of his worthless drivel, instead focus on getting your kid away from him and build a better life for yourself. And do not allow anyone, ever to ‘force’ you to do anything.

attillathenun · 13/09/2020 10:15

He sounds like an abusive waste is space OP. You’re not being pathetic at all wanting to not leave your baby, frankly he’s the one needing to grow up if he thinks it’s acceptable to get pissed whilst looking after a baby.

You don’t have to stay with someone like that for the sake of your child

Ami100 · 13/09/2020 12:44

This is ringing alarm bells to me. He's being rude towards you and expects you to leave him drunk in charge of a baby? Social care would call that neglect. Please stand your ground and if you can get away take baby somewhere with you for the night so that you both get a well deserved break from him!

Original poster

Gemc8905 · 13/09/2020 18:01

I promise my baby is safe, she is with me all the time. I certainly am not ready to leave her and most definitely not with her dad

OP posts:

MidnightCitrus · 13/09/2020 18:06

Why are you with him?

corythatwas · 13/09/2020 18:47

Normally I'd say it seems rather unfair not to leave the baby with its father when he presumably leaves her alone with you. But from your description he sounds a crap dad and not someone I'd trust alone with her. And I'd say exactly the same if he was her mother instead.

Agree with the posters saying work on getting away from him, he is not adding anything to your life or to your daughter's.

HP2020 · 13/09/2020 20:10

I never left my son overnight until he was 2.5years old and only then Cos I had to as I was going into hospital to have my second baby. I do leave him in the day at times to see my friends but not often and I trust my hubby and he is more than capable. Hubby has suggested in the past I could leave baby and go to my mums and have a few nights to myself but I don't want to and I've told him that which he accepts

Original poster

Gemc8905 · 13/09/2020 20:44

Iv been with him a long time, but it’s only since having our baby things have got this way. I have no where to go, and when I bring up our issues he says he will change or try harder..... but well he hasn’t. It’s been a hard time becoming a mum during lockdown and having no support I guess I hoped once life got back to semi normal things at home would improve too

OP posts:

Ami100 · 14/09/2020 09:54

I really feel for you it sounds tough. Where are your family? Can they help you?

Original poster

Gemc8905 · 14/09/2020 20:10

I have my parents close by but they have no room for me an my baby

OP posts:

Ami100 · 15/09/2020 14:06

Have you spoken to them about what's going on? I'd seek their support if you can

Original poster

Gemc8905 · 15/09/2020 16:39

I have, and they are supporting me emotionally

OP posts:

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