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Original poster

Feeling forced to leave my baby

69 replies

Gemc8905 · 13/09/2020 07:02

My baby is 8months old, my partner is being really pushy on me leaving her, as is his family. Iv explained I don’t feel ready, and I won’t be pushed into leaving her..... but now he’s called me pathetic and said I need to grow up..... am I being to clingy?

OP posts:
Velvian · 13/09/2020 07:39

Op, as pointed out by @dementedpixie, that will be illegal from tomorrow. Only groups of up to 6 can meet indoors or outdoors.

Velvian · 13/09/2020 07:39

Sorry X posted.

Original poster
Gemc8905 · 13/09/2020 07:41

I will definitely remind him of the rule of 6. Thanks for the comments. It’s nice to have somewhere I can talk to other parents and know I’m not over protective as that’s how I’m made to feel

OP posts:

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Sittin · 13/09/2020 07:41

How odd. He sounds like an idiot. Don’t leave your baby if you don’t want to, it’s not pathetic.

Original poster
Gemc8905 · 13/09/2020 07:43

It’s getting worse since having bubs.

OP posts:
AfolMummy · 13/09/2020 07:43

Sounds like he's more concerned about how he would look like in front of his mates when they have their child props and he doesn't, rather than your feelings on the matter or what's best for them.

SelmaB · 13/09/2020 07:44

Don't leave her then. I've hardly ever left my 3yo - a handful of meals out when she stayed with Dh (who was most definitely not getting pissed with his mates!) and once overnight when I was in hospital having DS. DS is 11mo and I've only just started leaving him at childcare as I'm back at work now; I've never left him at all before now and it's been quite sad but obviously necessary. You don't have to leave her if you don't want and certainly not with someone who will be getting drunk!

IsolaPribby · 13/09/2020 07:44

Why would you remind him of the rule of 6? Is he not aware? Would he not follow it of his own accord?

Original poster
Gemc8905 · 13/09/2020 07:44

Yeah, I feel that his mates will joke about how his partner won’t leave bubs with him

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Original poster
Gemc8905 · 13/09/2020 07:46

He hasn’t followed any lock down rules, to the point I reported him and his mates for getting on the piss when we should have been in total lockdown

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Covert19 · 13/09/2020 07:47

If you’re not ready, trust that instinct. In time you will feel able to leave her, but early on mothering is hugely instinctive and you should go with your gut.

Coffeecak3 · 13/09/2020 07:49

So you have some issues going on then.
Do you think you could have a proper conversation with him or will he just ignore your concerns?

GalaxyCookieCrumble · 13/09/2020 07:50

I left mine at 4 months old to go back to working my 4 nights a week for work, maternity leave had finished so had no choice, however I think one night away doing something YOU would like to do would benefit you, but in your own time when your happy too!

Original poster
Gemc8905 · 13/09/2020 07:50

He always turns it back on me, it’s my fault.... or he has an answer or excuse for everything

OP posts:
waitforitwaitforit · 13/09/2020 07:51

Does he know it's illegal to be drunk when in charge of the baby?

GalaxyCookieCrumble · 13/09/2020 07:53

@Gemc8905

The guys want the mums to go out for a day, and they have the 5 kids, (3 different families) but the dads all just always drink when together
Well legally you are unable to now because of the Covid rules and maximum 6 to a house, so there is your answer @Gemc8905
Fosler · 13/09/2020 07:54

That sounds very toxic and abusive. I'd leave in your shoes.

Original poster
Gemc8905 · 13/09/2020 07:54

I’m just not ready, and well I don’t feel he is capable

OP posts:
FlossieTeacakesFurCoat18 · 13/09/2020 07:55

Why do they want the mums to go out for the day and leave the kids with them while they're drinking? It sounds really odd to me!

Original poster
Gemc8905 · 13/09/2020 07:56

I think they think it’s doing us a favour gives the mums a break, but I don’t want one

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LilaButterfly · 13/09/2020 07:56

If he asked you to leave baby with your parents or inlaws over night so that you two can go out and spend some quality time together, then i would say yabu.
But i wouldnt leave a small child in the care of a bunch of drunk people. Its always possible that something happens and they need to be able to react properly and drive to emergency if necessary.

Original poster
Gemc8905 · 13/09/2020 07:59

I know if I’m with her she is ok, I don’t drink. And I am aware of her needs, I feel he is not

OP posts:
cornflakecritter · 13/09/2020 08:04

Your partner to me sounds emotionally abusive and that this is a form of control. You don't need to leave your baby with anyone if you are no ready. The arrangement he is suggesting sounds also ridiculous and that your baby's needs wouldn't be prioritised. What does this man bring to you and your child that is positive? I would seriously consider from what you have said already ending the relationship.

Original poster
Gemc8905 · 13/09/2020 08:07

I guess I never wanted our family to be broken, and have wanted to make it work since bubs was born but just getting harder and harder to stay.

OP posts:
80sChildy · 13/09/2020 08:07

This is coercion and manipulation and is abusive no matter what his intentions are. If this was me I would tell him NO and I would not enter into any further discussions about it. To be honest I would question the relationship. Sorry if this sounds harsh but it's a worrying situation and I feel for you xx

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