How to reduce my DD's weight

[scarecrow22]

My DD (9yo) has got quite over-weight during lockdown and the summer. I never weigh the children but she has several rolls of belly, and is starting to get the same on her back/under the arm area (if you can visualise it). I see in photos she has also lost the definition of her cheekbones.

As her parents we are ultimately responsible: I acknowledge that and take the responsibility.

Now, however, I want to do something about it. But having had a bad experience as a child I do not EVER want her to think that I have a problem with her weight, or to even let her know what I am doing is because of her. This is somewhat complicated by the fact that DS (7) is growing like topsy and permanently hungry - but he also has a very good 'off' button when he is sated, and he's more naturally active. As a result I can't see a tissue of fat on him. DD will eat everything in sight, and ask for more. We suspect (know?) she is also secret eating.

What I would hugely appreciate is advice about how to improve our family food and activity. DH and I have told the children that we eat too much sugar as a family, that it should be more of a treat, and that we need to eat more protein, carbs, fats and vitamins (not necessarily in that order!).

I cook a good range of savoury food, and DD is good at eating or trying veg, and loves fruit. I think the problem is less WHAT we cook than quantities and treats. So while I'm aware of and dealing with those issues, I'm not too proud to welcome new recipes, ideas for how to cook popular food more healthily, how to measure portion sizes, treat strategies, and how to balance DS's growth/hunger with DD's need to cut back a bit.

TIA, sincerely.

Sounds simple but I serve my own and my girls (11 and 14) meals on breakfast plates. Keeps the portion size down. Also limit fatty sugary snacks. We are all slim.

My girls quite 😮 at the vast quantities their friends eat. Several of my 11 year olds friends packed lunches at primary were literally twice size of dds. These children were all fat though.

Get in touch with your local council and see if they run any intervention programmes. My DS was obese at his Yr6 weigh in. We were referred to a council run programme with dietitian led, information and food preparation sessions for parent and child, and a fun exercise session for the children.

I thought I wouldn't learn anything much new - and I didn't (!) -I'm athletic with BMI of 22- however, it gave me the motivation to really focus on his diet.

Portion control was the biggest change, weigh their pasta etc . Otherwise, it's easy to give them DOUBLE the recommended amount....then cutting right down on snacks. Snacking is mostly just a bad habit. Cutting out completely the idea of food as a treat, a reward or an activity ( I've always hated the habit of people troughing buckets of popcorn and pick n mix at the cinema... just why????) Puddings only occasionally.

Healthier substitutions- Weetabix is fine, oat based cereals are good but the vast majority of cereals are hideously unhealthy. Plain rich tea biscuit or fig roll or malt loaf are better choices than most other cakes and biscuits. Research alternatives, read labels.

The cumulative effect of a lot of small changes does add up.

It's difficult because everyone assumes kids will shoot up and the fat will melt away.
But that's not necessarily the case for kids who reach their max height early on. (I am the same (short!) height now as I was age 11. Dd is unlikely to be much taller).

It makes sense to think about healthy eating, portion sizes (this is key), eating out of boredom, eating unhealthy food frequently etc.

Activity is important but the reality is increasing physical activity alone without changing food intake is unlikely to assist weight maintenance in most people.
It takes a lot of activity to burn not many calories.

Thanks @Gazelda! Probably came from how guilty I feel about grabbing a bag of crisps that will probably outlive me when tomatoes are going off in the fridge

Do you just let your kids continue to eat when you think they have had enough? Or do you help with portion control? For example if I let my
Kids they would over eat sometimes and get a tummy ache. So when I think they have had a lot I say no more. They are both slim and have a good appetite. They snack a little too much for my liking. But I’m also always telling them no for seconds (like no second bag of crisps, no second pot of yogurt etc). Of course if they want seconds of fruit and veggies they are welcome 😀 I ask bc I’ve seen friends not say no and their children are becoming overweight. Sometimes children eat out of boredom or they don’t know when to stop. It’s our job to help them understand not to over eat. My dd has had too many things w sugar before and then felt sick after. She now understands that if I say no more it’s for a good reason. Too much of something is not good. Enjoy in moderation. At the age of 8 she has learned to take one chocolate croissant because that is enough. You don’t need two.

I agree that you do need to help your kids understand portion control. I don't restrict certain foods, but the kids know that having a biscuit means taking a couple, not half a packet. A yogurt means that, one yogurt.
No food is off limits, but there are limits to how much you can have.
Three kids in our house (2 now adults) all healthy weights, they're all really good at recognising feeling full and stop eating when they've had enough.