To not take baby outside?

[poppypod]

I'm a new mum to a 6 month old and we never go out. I feel guilty a lot because other mums I know seem to take their babies out on walks/activities every single day but I just can't seem to find the motivation. We usually leave the house once during the week for a walk/park/shop and then we go out at the weekends visiting family and spending time with my husband. But that's it. Should I be getting out more? I think it's partially anxiety and partially just laziness because getting us both ready is such a faff. There's also now Covid to add to the mix. I never went out much before becoming a mum and in the past having a busier schedule has caused me to become depressed. I'm simply not a very social creature and the outside world/other people are draining. The thing is, I don't know anybody else who is like this? Am I alone!? I feel guilty and I'm worried about the effects it might have on my child.

I don’t think going out just once a week is good for either you or the baby. There’s a lot to be said for getting out in the fresh air, seeing people going about their daily business.

I am a natural homebody but I always tried to force myself out once a day when they were babies (weather permitting).

Have you spoken to your HV or GP about possible PND.

I would really try and address this - your baby is coming to an age where it’s good for them to have more social interaction. It’s must be very boring for you both to be stuck in day after day.

Do you have a garden? I go through phases of this and 6 months is a hard age. I try and make a plan and get up, get out for a walk around the block in the morning. How close is your park? Do you have any friends you can see? I can find it easier if I have a plan.

If you tell yourself you're just walking around the block then you don't need to pack anything either. Just throw child in pushchair and go.

Hi op, I understand that it's hard. I think if you can do a short walk alittle more often would be nice. I know you say you have no motivation, but just adding a short walk to your daily routine might help lift your mood. I always feel better after a walk. I don't think it will have a massive effect on baby yet, but more so when you have a toddler, or older child. My toddler climbs the walls when inside all day. There fore I think if you can try to get out more when you can, that will help. Just a short walk to perhaps the end of your road and back will help. Perhaps commit to a daily walk for a week and see how you feel after that! I guess you will have school run ext when baby is older. I try and get out for a walk at five out of seven days I'd say. Perhaps as baby gets alittle older you could stop at a park on your walks. Seeing how much your baby enjoys it might motivate you to keep going with it.

My mental health really takes a knock if I stay in all day, even for one day, my baby is 9 months old so similar age. I would really recommend forcing yourself to get out, even for a short walk, it makes a huge difference. I sometimes listen to a funny podcast or some music, or buy myself a takeaway coffee.

Out of interest, what do you do at home? Whilst I do think getting out is a good idea, I'm also impressed that you can fill your days at home, I always run out of things to do pretty early on in the day, hence why I go out!

If you have a garden and are getting fresh air at home, then I don't think it's an issue. However, if you are cooped up inside for days on end then that's very unhealthy, both for you and the baby.

It really isn't a faff to pop them in the buggy or sling/carrier for a walk round the block.
Put them in the buggy in whatever they're wearing. Take milk with you and that's it.

You should try to get outside every day.

If you're struggling to get out of the house at six months, you might need some more support.

The thing is though, I've never been happier! Having a baby and then going into lockdown massively improved my mental health. It took society's expectations of me to be going out and socialising away and I found it to be very healing. Ive not felt so good in years. It's just getting harder now that things are heading back to normal and that expectation is coming back. Maybe we just need to find a balance. I've enrolled babe in part time nursery from 10 months which makes me sad but hoping it will make up with what I lack in socialisation!

I think getting out more than once during the week would benefit you bot change of scenery bit of fresh air it doesn't have to be every day, having a baby a few weeks before lockdown must have really been unsettling I can see why you don't want to go out.

Well once in week with you and then twice a weekends isn't as bad as just once. Really depends on do you have a garden so can you go out there to play for short bursts weather allowing, and are you doing stuff in the house or just say starting at the 4 walls/telly?

You don't need to be sociable on your walks. Talk to your baby about what you can see and her etc. If they're asleep, listen to the radio/podcast/music.

Well you said you are happy to be at home and that's fine isn't it ? You don't have to be "super busy" but your baby will have benefit of being outside.

I could definitely fill my days at home so totally get it! Naps are always a faff and then there's cleaning up breakfast, starting lunch, cleaning all that up and prepping dinner. A bit of playing on the mat, reading etc. And if you want to do any other cleaning or make the beds say, put away dry washing - you might get a coffee in for 10 mins. I do a lot of contact napping as well so literally stuck under a child.

Thanks all for replies, there's a lot! I can see I really am in the minority here haha. We do fill the day and I don't know how people run out of things to do. We contact nap every hour and a half as still waking every 1/2 hrs in night. Our days are as biscuit lover describes. We get out in the garden and have been doing water play on warmer days, reading books, playing, singing and dancing, sensory activities. I take baby around the house and we talk through everything I do when we aren't actively playing.

I think a schedule might help us. Maybe I'll set two days a week to get out as a starting point. That's every other day then, and our weekends are always full with lots of socialisation.

I took my baby out every day even if it was just go and buy some milk. People def talk to you more when you have a little one, they are great ice breakers. As pp have said just make it a ten minute stroll so you don't need to pack anything. Build it it up gradually or go 2 or 3 times a day and l am sure you will gain the confidence and desire to go for longer x

I'm the same tbh once a week if we are lucky. It's so tiring just getting through the day. I feel guilty but I find it so difficult.

You don't have to go out everyday at all. I think getting out at least a few times a week will be good for both of you though as you need daylight and vitamin D but you said you have a garden so that counts which is good.

I don't go out every single day. I do go out allot now because I have a 20 month old but when she was 6 months I did allot of what you're doing!

Don't worry about it at all. If you're happy and baby is happy that's all that matters. It's not like you never leave the house is it?

For both of your sakes you should aim to go out most days, 6 days a week let's say even if it's to walk around the park, go to a local shop or post a letter. The exercise is good for you, just a mile a day has amazing help benefits and far better for your mental health. It's unfortunate that baby groups have been suspended but some restart soon, the drop in at church starts in September, costs £1 to cover drinks and biscuits for instance

You sound a lovely mummy poppypod. I think if you are getting time in the garden most days then pushing yourself to walk twice during week days is enough! Some babies of a similar age are doing full time hours in a nursery at six months, I've worked in a fair few, and they don't all get to go on daily walks, but do get plenty of time outside in the garden. It sounds like your doing great, just add in a couple of walks if you can and I'm sure you will both enjoy it, plus it breaks the day up nicely.

@poppypod I'm with you - love lockdown, hate people (sorry). The one thing I'd be careful is your LO - starting nursery will be a MASSIVE shock for the baby. Not sure what the reaction is usually, but try handing the baby over to someone they do not know, see what happens.

The nursery was the sole reason I started to engage with people more (parks, walks, etc). Otherwise I agree, no people makes my day way more blissful.

I'm impressed you aren't climbing the walls! Lots of good advice from PPs but I just wanted to add that it might help transition to nursery for both of you if you try to get out and interact a little more often in the runup- nursery will do a handover chat each time and you may (although maybe not with covid) need to stay for a bit at settling sessions. Only you will know of the thought of that makes you anxious but it is part and parcel of nursery life, I think it's great you're going to use the nursery to give your DC chance to mix with other babies though so definitely not trying to put you off!

Your baby does need to get out and see the world around her. She needs to look at far away objects for eye development, and vitamin D is important.

I'm with you regarding social interactions, baby groups etc were never my thing when I was on mat leave. Having said that, I do think getting out even just for a walk once a day is really good for your health. I always walked a lot pre-DS anyway, but I found putting him in the pushchair and setting out for a couple of hours each day really refreshing. Didn't need to pack much of anything or speak to anyone, I'd just listen to a podcast or stop and read on a bench if he fell asleep, or chat to him about what we could see around us if he was awake. I've found the older they get, the more it takes to entertain them (and the more mess they make!) so you might find you're grateful for the opportunity to get out of the house a bit each day before too long

Have a 4 month old here. The trick so far for getting out and about with little notice seems to be having a small bag always packed with essentials.

I literally use an old wash bag type thing with 2 nappies, some wipes, spare vest, Muslin inside. It lives under pram, and I just grab it out and add to handbag if I take him locally for a walk in sling or it stays in pram if using.
I only take more if planning to be out for ages.

A few you you make good points regarding the nursery transition. That's something that has been playing on my mind because it's hard with Covid. We didn't see anybody for a long time and nobody even held the baby! But since indoor visiting was allowed we now see just close family. It's obviously tricky for babe to have close engagement with anyone else due to distancing. I'm hoping that I will be allowed at the nursery settling in sessions. It would be awful to not be allowed in as we haven't even been able to see the place properly, we had a tour but without children present. We are starting well before I go back to work so that we can have short bursts and hopefully get adjusted. Eek.