To not take baby outside?

[poppypod]

I'm a new mum to a 6 month old and we never go out. I feel guilty a lot because other mums I know seem to take their babies out on walks/activities every single day but I just can't seem to find the motivation. We usually leave the house once during the week for a walk/park/shop and then we go out at the weekends visiting family and spending time with my husband. But that's it. Should I be getting out more? I think it's partially anxiety and partially just laziness because getting us both ready is such a faff. There's also now Covid to add to the mix. I never went out much before becoming a mum and in the past having a busier schedule has caused me to become depressed. I'm simply not a very social creature and the outside world/other people are draining. The thing is, I don't know anybody else who is like this? Am I alone!? I feel guilty and I'm worried about the effects it might have on my child.

You are going out as you have the garden so don't feel bad . There is no need to socialise if it isn't what you want to do because it is for the mother not the child. I used to love taking my DC for walks, feeding the ducks, watching the trains, galleries , park etc. It was good for me and new experiences for them but please don't feel pressed into anything. Buggy or sling , a spare nappy and some wipes in your handbag or stuffed down the side of the pram , no need for anything else.

I went demented within 2 weeks of being indoors with a baby and that was over the winter! Went out every day of my maternity leave after that, mostly just walking with the pram.

If you’re happy though and your baby is still getting plenty of fresh air in the garden then I don’t think it matters. At this age they don’t need socialisation or anything like that and still get a lot of stimulation from playing in the house or garden.

Thanks to those offering reassurance. I do plan on trying harder to get out more but mostly just wanted to check that I'm not a horrible mother because I'll inevitably have times where I'm not managing it so well! I'm glad there are a few here who understand. The mum guilt is awful!

I say to people that we didn't go out for the first six months. But when I say that I mean I didn't go to baby classes or swimming or singing etc. I did walk outside everyday though.

Like you said, aim for two days out of the house and not whole days of course just popping out.

And don't pressure yourself over nursery. A ten month old won't get that much from it. Whereas a trip to a local library that does singing with parents they will socialise and so will you. Doesn't have to be that, could be anything YOU think you'll enjoy

@footprintsintheslow those things aren't open anymore:( I miss the library song time

You are not a horrible mother at all.

and @poppypod honestly, better to spend Time loving, cuddling and playing with your daughter then plonk her in front of classes for the sake of it.

Well the back garden is outside.

I was about to witter on about fresh air and vitamin d but I see you've taken care of that!

Enjoy your time with your baby.

You sound like a lovely mum op - your baby needs YOU, and it sounds like you're give her all of the stimulation and love she needs. I don't really understand people saying that you HAVE to go out 6 days a week, just do whatever is right for your family and whatever makes you happy

Im pretty much the same youngest is 4 months only went out when my partner was off work and was in the car but now schools back I have to do the school run again so that's a walk every day also been going out for meals now .if you are happy then it's fine but mabey try and get out every couple of days you don't need to go out every day .

I don't go out everyday. Same as I wouldn't go out every single day when I was self employed. Sometimes I did but other days I just wanted to stay home.
I go out once a week to a class with baby (not UK), once or twice to shops, if I have an appointment etc, out heaps on the weekend. But I don't force myself out the house every day.

I was the same with DD. I didn't see the point in just going out for the sake of it. It's boring, it gives me no pleasure, especially on my own with a baby. We did some groups, but neither of us got much from it that we wouldn't at home without the hassle.

My mental health was fine. Being at home was fine and I enjoyed .

Once she was about one and a half I made an effort to befriend people,have playdates, go places etc.

At 2 and a half she started preschool and our social circle expanded even more. More playdates,more meetups, birthday parties, visiting friends for a week as mini holidays, family holidays etc

Now she's 9 , very sociable,kind ,friendly and kids and grownups love her.

There's this obsession with going out daily because it improves mental health. 1.Not everyone is the same 2.if your mental health is fine, what is there to improve?
Even worse, there's an obsession with going for a walk just because,you must,you should. "Oh just go around the block" Why? Just why? Just so you can say I've been for a walk today? Completely pointless, and not that enjoyable for some people.

As long as you don't get stuck in the mindset you are now and you evolve and develop alongside her , you'll both be fine.

@ComeOnBabyPopMyBubble Thank you so much for this reply, you are the best! Lol

A few people are suggesting play groups and singing etc but these things are all shut now, with no dates set for them to start again - at least where I am. It sounds like you’re doing lots to entertain your baby at home, and soon she will have nursery too. I’m in a similar situation as my baby is starting nursery soon and hasn’t been held by anyone else since lockdown. They have said we can do settling in sessions luckily, hope you get to too.

I hated playgroup and the like. I much preferred just hanging out me and dd with the odd walk etc.

Garden play is fine! What you are doing sounds ok.

For your own self confidence you may benefit from a short walk daily. It will help you get used to packing the bag, exercise and fresh air as well as some new sights and sounds for dd.

Aim for a 20 mins walk every day even if just round the block.

Aim for a 20 mins walk every day even if just round the block.

Why?

Keep an eye on your local library ...i found the library song /story time better as less interaction with other people and baby gets socialisation...
So I may have seemed like a mad tiger mum as booked on courses/swimming classes etc but found focused sessions easier to navigate than general baby groups...
dc extroverts so cheered up massively once in buggy to go out....
Hopefully some will be opening soon...as prep for nursery

@ComeOnBabyPopMyBubble why?

To get fresh air.
For a change of scene.
To soak up some vitamin d.
To see the changes going on around you.
For exercise.
To have the baby see something different than home.
To pop to a shop for cake.

Because going outside for fresh air and a walk is good for you.

To get fresh air. - in the garden
For a change of scene. - meh
To soak up some vitamin d. - in the garden
To see the changes going on around you. - not a lot changed,particularly not around the block.
For exercise. - fair enough
To have the baby see something different than home. - garden,one day out, home,visit relatives. Plus around the block every day is not that different.
To pop to a shop for cake. - leave the cake, then less need to exercise.

People really are oblivious at how pointless this expectation to go out every day really is, unless there is an actual need for it, like OP being bored,depressed,isolated,feeling like she's losing herself etc.

I'm happy staying home. Nah mate, you MUST go out every day,at least around the block.

I'm not putting a bra in for that!

Because going outside for fresh air and a walk is good for you.

Why?

You dont need to wear a bra for a walk.

And if the OP was actually happy about only going out once per week she wouldn't have started a thread on it.

Maybe you would be less cranky if you did a daily, bra-free walk.

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

You dont need to wear a bra for a walk.

And if the OP was actually happy about only going out once per week she wouldn't have started a thread on it.

She's worried because people insist so much babies/new mums must go out and she knows she isn't and feeling guilty about it. Mum guilt is such a pain in the arse, we're always doing something wrong according to someone.

If she wanted to go out, she would.

Personally I am perfectly happy at home and it's the pressure of 'having' to do something every day that gets me down. I do sometimes think I would like to be getting out more but this stems more from a desire to 'be like other mums' than actually wanting it myself. My main concern has been whether a baby this age really NEEDS it. Of course as time goes by I will inevitably be going out more in order to entertain an older baby/toddler but for where we are at now it just seems like so much more effort than it's worth. Basically @ has hit the nail on the head, it's literally just the mum guilt and second guessing myself that's getting me down but I appreciate that everyone who has replied here just wants to help. I suppose it's just different horses for different courses.