Would you leave 3-year-old with Dad and grandparents for 10 days, if you'd come back a better mum?

[ChipsAreDown]

My demons are catching me out every day in my parenting, and I need to put them to rest; it's miserable, for me and ds.

Counselling hasn't cracked it, and I've heard some great things about The Hoffman Process. I've seen friends really benefit from it. But it takes 8-10 days, with no contact with anyone 'outside'! Ds (3) would be taken care of by Dad and grandparents - the very best alternative - but given that he sometimes finds separations from Mum really tough, will the benefits of potentially Much Happier Mummy outweigh the risk of leaving him for 10 days?

I've thought of making little Mummy videos, recording stories for him, etc, to keep the idea of Mum 'alive'. Would you leave little one, if the odds were you'd come back a more chilled out, playful, loving mummy?

Thanks.

I would do it. I went away on a 10-day business trip recently, leaving my 3yo dd with dh. She asked every day if I was coming back, and asked for me especially at bedtime, but I don't think, 6 months on, she even remembers I was away.

So in the short term it may affect your ds, but it sounds like the long term benefit will be worth it.

Leaving recordings or even little notes with the date on so your dh can read one out each day will help a lot, I think. My dh took a photo of dd every day at the same time too, to show me when I got back.

Good luck with it.

I know nothing about the Hoffman process but I think that if what you are after is changing the way you behave at home, then maybe think about getting weekly therapy rather than trying to "fix" everything in one go. Changes in behaviour tend to come a little at a time I think - I find it hard to understand how people can go away for 10 days and come back and suddenly relate to everyone differently IMHO.

I know you said counselling didn't work for you, but there are different types of counselling and sometimes it's down to the counsellor you get - is it worth exploring other options before you place all your hopes on this 10 days away?

I will go and read up about Hoffman now and see if they can convince me!

I would have thought that if he has his other parent, it'll surely be fine.

If you think it's the right thing for you and your family in the long run, and if you are ok about leaving your child for this amount of time, then go for it. It doesn't really matter what any of us think!
Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Yes I absolutely would

I think that if you think it will make you feel significantly better in the long run and his Dad and grandparents are happy to do it then you should go for it. He will, I'm sure, be very well looked after and if you don't go then you will probably just keep wondering whether it would have worked. I wish you well whatever you decide.

Thank you all. Food for thought. Yes, you're right, it is my decision ultimately, and I'm being thoroughly indecisive and looking to others, instead of myself, for a decision - all part of the problem! Appreciate your perspectives, though. Really do. Night night.

Yes. I don't think I'd leave a child that age with just grandparents, but in this case he'll still have a parent with him won't he?