Please tell me how nice your life is with older DC

[AvoBaconHalloumi]

Just to say I adore my DC more than anything, they're gorgeous funny clever and make me feel so.loved. but my god I am so tired and just BORED of it all. My 2 year old is incessant at the moment. Tantrums, biting, kicking. Attention span of a gnat. Tried a thinking step time out etc but she just laughs and runs off. My six year old is wonderful but I feel I'm losing patience and she gets the raw end of the stick as I'm constantly stressed from the two year old. I have work to do of an evening (degree) so Im constantly shattered, DH wfh still, 15 hour days. House is a mess. I feel.like I'm wishing the days away and I dont want to be like this. Going back to work in sept and hoping this might help. Please tell.me stories of how much easier it is when your children are older. I got up to go for a run this morning, enjoy it while I'm going but the minute on back DH is logging on and they are all over me , I just want to go for a run and then sit and have 10 mins to cool down in peace!! Eurgh. So yes please tell me how much nicer / easier your life got once your DC were older.

I think we all have our favourite and less favourite ages. I would happily have sold mine into slavery as toddlers, but once they were past about 2 ½ it did start getting steadily easier. They are now 30 and 27 and really quite useful. This time will pass. And in all honesty don’t worry about wishing it away, it’s currently crap and we really all need to fast forward a year.

I felt exactly the same when they were young, now they're smelly but lovely teens I want time to stand still. Each stage brings its own challenges but none as exhausting as yours, in my opinion.

I felt exactly the same as you op, exhausted for tears when they were small.
Now they are late teens and early twenties, it's great. I can't lie.

I miss the cuddles though, them calling you mummy, them always wanting you. Reading stories before bed and hot milk.

I have tweens. Awful. I miss 8pm bedtimes.

The older they got the more I enjoyed them tbh. Babies and toddlers are bloody exhausting.

My least favourite stage was newborn to walking; she’s actually a breeze now at 20 months. I do work full time as a teacher though, so I tend to cherish weekends and holidays.

Friends with older children look at me in sympathy and say it gets much easier once they hit about 6, so only a few years...

It's great having teens. They make cups of tea, occasionally cook dinner, no worries about childcare/babysitters and give us lifts home after our nights out! We all rub along quite nicely most of the time. My favourite stage by far!

Mine are 5 and 7 and it’s pretty good. There is a fair amount of bickering and still lots of demands and mess, but so so much easier than the baby/very small child years. And still very cuddly.

LOL at “30 and 27 and really quite useful”

Yes it does get easier and less exhausting.

However it also becomes harder to navigate moods, teenage worries, friendships etc etc.

So very different. But the good news is they usually don't wake up at the crack of dawn!!

I have a 17 year old DD and the last few years have definitely been my favourite parenting phase, though not without its challenges! She's great, as are her friends. I do miss the communal parenting days though hanging out with a group of friends and kids, you generally can't get teens to do that unless they haven't changed their friendship group, the late primary years were definitely my most social.

I’m a lone parent to ds who is 12.

The early years were a bit relentless but now ds is funny, kind, good company and mostly a joy to live with.

He has his moments, we all do, but I am very proud of him and wouldn’t change a thing.

It does get easier and it's very normal to wish the tedium away, as gorgeous as the little ones are. So dont feel bad! Whatever gets us thru 2020.

Each age has its own concerns and worries. Mine are now early teens. It’s been very trying over lockdown with the lack of education. One of mine is year 11 so hasn’t sat their exams and the devastation of that was awful. I also have a year 6 who didn’t get to finish primary school. I would say the physical exhaustion improves considerably, especially when on holiday when you don’t have to be quite so watchful around the pool, but certainly the mental and emotional toll can be much higher.

Mine are 5 and 9 and a total joy after being the most intense two toddlers I have ever known, and I was an Nursery Teacher for some time... They help with chores (just stripping their beds as I type), can put themselves to bed if needed (mostly we do it but ever we need them to go up solo, they will!). They are funny and and clever and good company. Long may that continue!

Those early years are so hard. Although that period had some wonderful moments, overalI I didn't really enjoy birth to five.

Mine are 16 and 18 now and the last few years have been good fun. They're clever and funny and great company. We've had very few teenage strops and they're really laid back and enjoyable to be around. Like a PP said, I do miss bedtime stories and cuddling up on the sofa though.

My lot are 16, 13 and 10. They are generally a huge amount of fun and delightful to be around.

I think it starts to get quite a lot easier when the youngest gets to about 3 or 4.

Hello. I speak to you from The Future. You are going to love it here! Your children will become little adults and they speak as they find. They will be fascinating, hilarious and thought provoking - they will challenge your views and sometimes be right. They will entertain themselves entirely without you (for whole days during a pandemic) but they will also love your company and say you are a brilliant mum as if it's the most solid fact on the universe (even though you know it's not).

DSs 8 and 10 here and I genuinely don't think there could be a better age to experience.

I found the primary school years the easiest. It got harder when DD was a teenager, but that was due to outside influences rather than DD herself.

It was good reading this. I have a 13 month DD who has just started walking and follows me everywhere!! Screams if I leave her alone, teething, wants to play 24/7. I love her more than anything and think she is perfect but sometimes need a breather. Which makes me feel guilty. Even popping to the loo is a family trip....especially if the cat wants to come in as well!

Mine are 9 and genuinely really good company, have been for a good few years. However I fear his may be the calm before the teenage storm. They got infinitely more bearable from around age 4.

I've found there are positives and negatives to all ages.

But...mine are 24 and 12. No need for babysitters when I go out. I can tell them to do stuff for me around the house and there's a 50/50 chance that they'll do it in a reasonable time frame .

They're hilarious, separately and together and we have a lot of fun.

But the 24 year old has only just moved out and frankly it was about time- he has quite rigid views about certain things that differ wildly to mine and isn't afraid to argue his point. An admirable quality in certain settings I'm sure but quite exhausting at times. And you can't announce he's tired and needs a nap...

It seems relentless and never-ending when they're small I know. But when you look back it fees like those years went past in the blink of an eye.

These responses are so lovely. Thank you all for being so kind and the reassurance. I think I'm struggling more as most of DC1 friends have older siblings or are only children so their lockdown/ summer holiday experiences have probably been much nicer than hers which makes me feel guilty. Im now kicking myself for not having them closer together. She is such a darling and so good with younger one but I feel she very much gets the short straw in terms of my attention and i have morphed from being a fairly with it and good mum of 1 to a shouty frazzled and all over the place mum of 2. Funnily enoigh dc2 as a newborn was easy to manage but she has morphed into a toddler with a will of iron. However from septembet I will be taking her to school on her own every morning while DC2 is dropped off by DH so I am hoping we will get some more quality time then.

@SummerHouse your response really made me smile for the first time all morning. Thank you.

It gets less physically demanding - but mine at 14 has loud tantrums when I impose some time limits on the Xbox. And he's not as cuddly as he was.

But I think it was 3.5 when it got easier when weekends were something to look forward to rather than being harder than a FT job!