22 month old called Trouble by nursery?

[Panda368]

Dropped off my toddler at nursery the other day and the manager opened the door to take him from me and said to him

"hello Trouble! Thats your new name isn't it Trouble"

They've not mentioned that anything in particular has happened but he's clearly making a name for himself and I'm not sure what or if anything I can do about it?

Mostly we found this slightly amusing until I told my (former teacher) mother she commented
"you know thats not a good thing don't you?"
But realistically Im not sure what we can do at this age?

Most people comment on how high energy he is and how fast/strong he is for his age.

He isn't obedient, laughs when being told off or carries on while waiting for a reaction after being told to stop
Climbs up bloody everything and if you try to remove him from whatever he's climbing it becomes a massive game and he runs back to go again.
Mostly wont hold hands despite lots of praise when he does.
Runs EVERYWHERE at full speed - we went for a family walk and he basically sprinted about 2 miles over the top of a mountain climbed every rock possible and still didn't seem that tired.

It's like having the duracell bunny in the house 99% of the time.
He doesn't hit or bite and is generally very happy and bubbly although he terrorises the cat with love which we are really strict with but its relentless trying to keep them apart as the cat seeks him out.
He is mostly unfazed by falls or tumbles unless blood is drawn and will be up again in seconds.

Is this just standard toddler behaviour (his father also has a reputation for having spaniel like energy levels and was also called Trouble so I know where it probably comes from!)

How do you deal with wild toddlers? We try to be consistent but I think generally we try hardest to prevent behaviour that is overtly dangerous and probably let others slide. So do we need to be stricter on the smaller things to get co-operation on the bigger things? Will it come with time as he gets more verbal?

To be honest I wish he came with a user manual and volume control a lot of the time.

Are there any tips and tricks for having a semi civilised high energy toddler?

How old is he? Mine is 2.5 and similar, I call him monkey because he climbs up anything and everything. He also has boundless energy, selective hearing and has no idea of his own strength. We use time outs for really bad behaviour, things like hitting, kicking or throwing toys dangerously, and if we've warned him about something and he's not listened and done it again. I think other than that the only thing is to be consistent. If its unacceptable behaviour its dealt with immediately, and the same way every single time. It will go in eventually. Also watch out for over tiredness, ds tends to get more hyper as he gets more tired, so it looks like he has tonnes of energy but really he's so tired he can't settle down or self regulate. That's when we get tantrums.

He will be 2 in November.

I think mostly Im not too worried, I know he's fine, healthy and very bouncy. But I think my mums comment about the Nursery calling him Trouble not being a good thing got to me. (she has previous for small cutting comments which is another issue)

I suppose I'm more thinking about a label following him up through school etc. I mean he's not even 2 yet and he's already got himself a reputation..

Oh your mum is being daft!

He sounds a normal healthy little boy and the nursery sound fond of him.

I think I've used this as an affectionate term for most young children in the family at some stage or another. I don't think you need to be too worried about it as a label going forwards as nursery really doesn't seem to follow through to school in that way anyway generally.

What RJ said ^

All reassuring that it is my mum who's talking crap as I thought.

The nursery managers manor was very affectionate when she was calling him Trouble.

He isn't obedient, laughs when being told off or carries on while waiting for a reaction after being told to stop
Climbs up bloody everything and if you try to remove him from whatever he's climbing it becomes a massive game and he runs back to go again.
Mostly wont hold hands despite lots of praise when he does.

Why do you let him behave like this? Its literally asking for trouble

@mosquitofeast

He isn't obedient, laughs when being told off or carries on while waiting for a reaction after being told to stop Climbs up bloody everything and if you try to remove him from whatever he's climbing it becomes a massive game and he runs back to go again. Mostly wont hold hands despite lots of praise when he does.

Why do you let him behave like this? Its literally asking for trouble

I agree with the above - he's not even 2 and he's already running rings around you. You need to get a handle on this behaviour ASAP or you'll really struggle to control him as he gets older. It might be "typical toddler behaviour" but that doesn't mean you just let it happen, you need to teach him not to do it.

I'm with your mother tbh, I'd be very embarrassed if the nursery were referring to my child as "Trouble" and I'd assume they were hinting at bad behaviour by saying it in front of me.

It does sound pretty affectionate and harmless. I’m sure his high energy will calm down as he develops. Toddlers are hard work.

However I do get what you mean about labels...the nursery staff always open the door and say “hello big girl” to my daughter, “come on inside big girl” etc. She’s on the top percentiles for height and weight but is in proportion and I think she will just grow up to be tall (like her parents). I don’t want her to grow up defined by the label of “big”. But like others have said I guess it is all done affectionately. And I suppose it’s our job as parents to raise our kids to know that they are not defined by what other people say about them.

Yeah imagine it was Fat or Silly? I'd not like it either.

I would not like it either. It's a negative label. I am surprised that so many think that it's OK for a childcare provider. I am sure few people would really not mind if it was their child.

Both my boys were like this. Perfectly normal behavior. However undesirable. The trick is to distract them with something else or make it into a game. Try reading 'how to talk so little kids will listen' for some ideas.
No 22mo is going to listen when you say no/ stop or try to reason with them.
When mine ran off I would point at the ground and say 'hey dc come and look at this ladybird/ stick/ rock.' Invariably they would come and have a look. If you start shouting stop and running after them they just run off faster.
I dont think the nursery staff calling him teouble in an affectionate way is a problem too much, but I may have questioned it gently with an 'oh no, has he been causing problems?' . Or maybe a ' he is full of beans isn't he, how are you managing with him?'.
I'm sure he will be fine.

I think there's two things here.

Don't worry about nursery, it sounds affectionate.

BUT He isn't obedient, laughs when being told off or carries on while waiting for a reaction after being told to stop you need to find a way to break this. He won't suddenly got 4 and be compliant.

Mostly wont hold hands despite lots of praise when he does... we went for a family walk and he basically sprinted about 2 miles over the top of a mountain climbed every rock possible and still didn't seem that tired. So is he free range or on reins? If he can't hold hands it's buggy, carry or reins .

But yes largely, it's having kids of this age

I think you're reading too much into the comment from the nursery. It sounds from what you have said, more like a term of endearment than anything else.

@OhioOhioOhio

Yeah imagine it was Fat or Silly? I'd not like it either.

Fat and silly havenegative connotations that "trouble" doesn't I'm little boys who aren't even 2. Hence the plethora of bits clothes saying things like "look out heres trouble"

I clearly spoke too soon earlier.

@mosquitofeast @Bitchinkitchen

Where have I said I 'allow' this behaviour? I stop it but it continues as he doesn't retain the message no matter how many times hes removed or distracted.

Half the time if i react in any way it becomes a game so unless he is doing something actively dangerous or disruptive where I would pick him up and remove him from the situation I prefer to not reward him with the attention he is after and prefer to distract him.

If he wont hold hands he's carried or on reigns or put in the pushchair.

In no way did I say I allow any of the above it doesn't stop him trying to do it.

Did you completely miss your mother's point?

I think she was objecting to nursery staff calling him Trouble instead of his name. That's as totally unacceptable as staff mockingly calling him Nits or Pooh.

A negative, discriminatory nickname introduced by nursery staff will be copied by the other children (and their parents) with very damaging consequences for your little boy. Worse, it will follow him to school.

Want to be a better parent? Stamp down hard on the nursery head and tell her on no account is your child ever to be labelled like that.

Regardless of the child’s behaviour, it’s pretty unprofessional of the nursery in my opinion! In the childcare settings I’ve worked we would not get away with labelling children..

@2bazookas

Did you completely miss your mother's point?

I think she was objecting to nursery staff calling him Trouble instead of his name. That's as totally unacceptable as staff mockingly calling him Nits or Pooh.

A negative, discriminatory nickname introduced by nursery staff will be copied by the other children (and their parents) with very damaging consequences for your little boy. Worse, it will follow him to school.

Want to be a better parent? Stamp down hard on the nursery head and tell her on no account is your child ever to be labelled like that.

This! 👌

I was called trouble by a teacher at school, ridiculously compliant well behaved child, it was ironic I think,

Just a nickname, I didn't go out nicking car stereos on the back of it

@2bazookas
Knowing my mother that wasn't her point though.
Her point was that he was too wild and so getting a name for himself not that the nursery were wrong to call him Trouble.

In her eyes - teachers/childcare/educators can rarely do wrong. It is always shitty kids and shitty parenting.

Ha don't worry, mine is the same age and has been called Noise for as long as I can remember. She sounds just like your wee boy. He isn't mean or violent, just high energy and that's great!

I would suggest reins 100% of the time outdoors or in public places.

Your child's development is within normal range.

Here's some good advice:

www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/infant-and-toddler-health/in-depth/parenting-tips-for-toddlers/art-20044684

As for the nursery please speak to them privately when your child is not listening in and ask them politely to avoid using nicknames with negative connotations. Using names such as trouble or naughty can be a self fulfilling prophecy. If in doubt stick to his name only.

Good luck x

It would annoy me OP and I would be asking specific questions at pick up time about his behaviour to clarify.

How rude of others to criticise OPs parenting. She did not say that she "allows" this behaviour but this is what her son does. I also have a whirlwind son and I can assure you that he does not get away with it and I teach him all day every day what he needs to do.

Why do you let him behave like this? Its literally asking for trouble

Some children are just like this, there’s no “let” about it.

I think the nursery sound like they are coming from an affectionate place OP. However I would probably ask for a meeting at some point soon and just say, look I know he’s full on, please keep me up to date with his behaviour. I want to work with you and avoid him taking on the “naughty” role/ persona even if at the moment it’s just said in a jokey way.