22 month old called Trouble by nursery?

[Panda368]

Dropped off my toddler at nursery the other day and the manager opened the door to take him from me and said to him

"hello Trouble! Thats your new name isn't it Trouble"

They've not mentioned that anything in particular has happened but he's clearly making a name for himself and I'm not sure what or if anything I can do about it?

Mostly we found this slightly amusing until I told my (former teacher) mother she commented
"you know thats not a good thing don't you?"
But realistically Im not sure what we can do at this age?

Most people comment on how high energy he is and how fast/strong he is for his age.

He isn't obedient, laughs when being told off or carries on while waiting for a reaction after being told to stop
Climbs up bloody everything and if you try to remove him from whatever he's climbing it becomes a massive game and he runs back to go again.
Mostly wont hold hands despite lots of praise when he does.
Runs EVERYWHERE at full speed - we went for a family walk and he basically sprinted about 2 miles over the top of a mountain climbed every rock possible and still didn't seem that tired.

It's like having the duracell bunny in the house 99% of the time.
He doesn't hit or bite and is generally very happy and bubbly although he terrorises the cat with love which we are really strict with but its relentless trying to keep them apart as the cat seeks him out.
He is mostly unfazed by falls or tumbles unless blood is drawn and will be up again in seconds.

Is this just standard toddler behaviour (his father also has a reputation for having spaniel like energy levels and was also called Trouble so I know where it probably comes from!)

How do you deal with wild toddlers? We try to be consistent but I think generally we try hardest to prevent behaviour that is overtly dangerous and probably let others slide. So do we need to be stricter on the smaller things to get co-operation on the bigger things? Will it come with time as he gets more verbal?

To be honest I wish he came with a user manual and volume control a lot of the time.

Are there any tips and tricks for having a semi civilised high energy toddler?

My aunt affectionately called both me and my sibling 'trouble'. If I say it to a kid, they're probably the outgoing, fun type who would probably call me something amusing too. I've never heard it said to a kid negatively, I wouldn't take it to heart.

My little nephew is like this. All the other children in the family have been big talkers and naturally very cautious well behaved kids and he has arrived ready for mischief. My SIL has really had to step up how strict she is with him compared to his big sister because he almost got excluded from nursery! I think that it's mostly a personality thing, partly frustration from his talking being a bit slower. If I'm honest he is adorable and very much a typical toddler but I'm not quick to baby sit him, he really is tough work and isn't particularly warm to me because he gets put straight to time out as I wont tolerate him hitting the other children or throwing stones.

Find a way to "break" this? He's not even two! It's totally normal for them not to listen to you at this age. Just move them away from things you don't want them to touch etc. They do get more responsive to things like reasoning and threats of punishment at 4, not magic, just development.

Does he even understand the meaning of the word 'trouble'?

It’s an affectionate term. Trouble is something most teachers call their pupils or grandparents call their grandkids. It is usually the opposite when they are actually well behaved as you wouldn’t be making a joke out of it if they genuinely did have behaviour issues. I say it to my nieces and nephews and my DD gets it all the time and she’s an angel at school.

My middle son was just like this, it was such hard work. At 7 we put him into the local football team to help burn some energy, he's now a professional footballer. All that energy can do great things with the right focus.
Oh and yes I mostly let the small things slide and only attempted to discipline him for the more risky or dangerous behaviours....otherwise I'd have been fighting with him 24/7.
Also give him shit loads of praise and love when he's good and well behaved, otherwise it can feel like you're constantly telling him off. Good luck!

When I was a beaver leader I called them "trouble" or "sweetie" when I couldn't remember their names...
But it does sound like your son is a little bit naughty...

You have a very very active youngster. Its not a bad thing, its a sign of natural talent. I had one of these constantly on the go kids, he lived to run and jump and climb. Yes, He was a handful at times but fast forward he is always busy and occupied and always coming up with new ideas. It is a good sign that he sees you getting involved as turning it into a game, I think that shows his good nature and that he's not doing it to vex you, he's involving you.
This is a strength. It doesn't always go hand in hand with sitting quietly in formal situations and you will have to plan ahead for these. But he's still only two. Its such an active age anyway and I think that's also how they learn.
Give him as much extra exercise a day as you can manage, swimming, minis sports clubs and you will find that helps soak up some of that excess energies and he's learning at the same time. the one thing he won't like is being cooped up and restrained without a break to stretch his legs and run.

OP as the proud parent of 2 incredibly well behaved children I can assure you that it's not your parenting. Ds3 is trouble, he is exactly like your ds and I have 2 others that are the complete opposite despite all being raised by me!

I call him trouble or monkey, as do his nursery. I was called trouble by a few teachers but ironically as I was very well behaved!

I honestly don’t think they’d be calling him “trouble” if he was really causing problems . They’d be talking to you.
It sounds like an affectionate term for a busy, happy and noisy youngster. It’s normal and nurseries tend to love children like this as they don’t have to worry about them in the way they do about others.

My son is 17 now but he’s autistic and at the age of your boy the nursery would affectionately call him “trouble” but at the same time they were also privately sharing real concerns with me about his lack of speech and his anxieties.

Trust me....they love your son.

@2bazookas

Did you completely miss your mother's point?

I think she was objecting to nursery staff calling him Trouble instead of his name. That's as totally unacceptable as staff mockingly calling him Nits or Pooh.

A negative, discriminatory nickname introduced by nursery staff will be copied by the other children (and their parents) with very damaging consequences for your little boy. Worse, it will follow him to school.

Want to be a better parent? Stamp down hard on the nursery head and tell her on no account is your child ever to be labelled like that.

This seems like a huge overreaction to an affectionate nickname.

It all depends on context I think.
I call mine monkey, Madame and talk about her sass all affectionately

But I do have an issue with some labels like naughty and trouble is kind of boarder line for me.

If your DM is coming at it from the angle of not labelling children naughty but naughty actions then maybe she's concerned about the label following your DC around.

However you said your DM has form for criticism, so I might be tempted to just keep an eye on things.
As long as they aren't being labelled the naughty kid / trouble maker I wouldn't be worried

I think the "Trouble" nickname is a big hint to you from the nursery that he is not well behaved there.

You do need to get on top of his behaviour, otherwise he'll be running rings around you. Nursery and later school have rules and expectations for the safety and education of all the children. Too many children turn up in Reception without the behaviour they need to be an effective learner, and too many parents leave it to nursery staff and school to teach them how to behave.

So sorry to answer your questions i think it all sounds normal for his age, DD went slightly wild at that age but as her understanding has developed she now listens etc when out

I keep reminding her of the boundaries, as you do if she won't walk nicely she's carried or in the pram

It’s definitely a term of endearment to a lovable child with plenty of energy.

My son was a bundle of energy at that age and now at 17, I wish he was more active.
It’s hard work, but just set consistent boundaries and it gets easier.

I'd be 'that parent' and ask them to not call him trouble. I know they mean it affectionately but things like that can become self-fulfilling prophecies. You don't want causing trouble to become a key part of his identity.

I think if the teacher said it affectionately it's actually quite lovely. They know his character and are accepting of it. My eldest feels every emotion to the extreme which can be challenging but also amazing and her nursery key workee just 'got her' and they had a brilliant relationship.

I doubt anything was meant by it, he is still very young and sounds quite normal for his age. However just because it's normal doesn't mean you don't need to correct him. One thing i would insist on is holding hands when necessary, if he won't then use reins as a pp suggested. When my lo's wouldn't hold my hand near a road or whatever i held onto their arm or wrist, if they didn't like it tough.

My DS is 2 in November too and I could have written your post! We say he’s feral, laughs when you tell him off etc but he’s just a toddler. My older DS was exactly the same at this age and they do grow out of it. They’re just learning boundaries x

Despite how young he is, I think it's important to be aware of the potential consequences for him of being labelled (not that you need to go in all guns blazing!). Teachers and other parents do unfortunately label and judge children even before they can talk and really understand what is going on around them. When DS was 8 months old, he was labelled in this way at a baby sensory class because he preferred to crawl out into the corridor rather than watching the teacher and listening to the songs. And labels tend to stick, whether it's 'shy', 'greedy', 'a handful'. The worst-case scenario is that they become self-perpetuating - people behave in a certain way towards your child because of the label, and this reinforces the behaviour that led to the label in the first place.

That's not to say there's anything developmentally worrying about your DS or his behaviour...There probably isn't. But if he continues to be singled out like this for being high-energy, you might want to look for a setting where they don't see this as a negative issue and where he isn't conspicuous in this way (like a forest nursery or one with a more outdoors ethos).

My son is only a month older and sounds exactly the same, only he terrorises the dog, who encourages it sometimes by running around the house with him. We have to put a barrier / room between them, especially when she is tired and just wants to chill.
I was called trouble when I was younger by my uncle, so I guess he gets it from me. My mum delights in it, she says it’s karma!
I thought it was just normal terrible twos.

My dd at 12 still has an inordinate amount of energy in comparison to her peers. I found a wrist link band far more effective than reins. We were literally strapped together. They’re less than a fiver. www.ebay.co.uk/itm/New-Clippasafe-Wrist-Link-Toddler-Safety-Wristband-Strap-Walking-Secure-Child/143351238006?hash=item2160664d76:g:FD0AAOSwXWZdTZd4&var=442263729481

As for being called trouble, I couldn’t get het up about that. At this stage it was a one off and affectionate. The person is indicating they know and care about your child and his wellbeing.

I can see why people might see it as a negative label, but it sounds like an affectionate nickname to me, sort of in the same league as cheeky monkey or mischief or similar. Personally I wouldn’t read too much into it, unless it’s really bothering you, in which case speak with the manager.

Wow some major over reactions here! Please don’t be the parent who calls a meeting because a teacher jokingly called your son trouble. I say it when I see my friends children, I don’t mean anything by it. People are so quick to be offended by things these days. OP your son sounds exactly like my daughter even down to the nog holding hands part - I don’t class her as naughty I class her as a two year old child who is full of energy and is very independent