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Parenting

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Original poster

Would you contact Social Services.......??

34 replies

Lolabelle · 01/10/2007 20:23

Someone i know beats their DS a lot, i've seen it once when he annoyed her and our mutual friend has confided it has happenede a fair bit when she has been around and its upsetting to hear. Its because she has postnatal apparantly and he is a very difficult child but still only 2.10 and the same age as mine and i'm not sure i can just ignore it. I've asked my mutual friend to clarify just how hard she is hitting him and she showed me using my sofa and it horrified me as i didn't experience it to that degree and apparantly its repetitive and she gets furthermore annoyed as he doesn't seem to cry which anoys her as she doesn't get a reaction. The whole situation upsets me even thinking about it but what do i do. Shes not actually my friend and the mutual friend doesn't want to get involved...

OP posts:

PinkChick · 01/10/2007 20:24

no brainer really dont you think?

LaDiDaDi · 01/10/2007 20:25

Yes.

edam · 01/10/2007 20:25

I would contact social services if I were you and encourage your mutual friend to do the same. I'm not sure what they can do with third-hand reports (ie you saying 'I've seen x but my friend has seen y). Sounds terrible, poor kid. The mother needs help and needs someone to show her that this is not OK.

Original poster

Lolabelle · 01/10/2007 20:25

Sometimes you just need to hear it from someone else..

OP posts:

ruty · 01/10/2007 20:25

no brainer of course. Hello child abuse?

TheDuchess · 01/10/2007 20:26

Yes, I think I would if I knew for sure it was happening.

loobylooby · 01/10/2007 20:27

yes yes yes. Also if you know who this persons HV or GP is, ring them - you don't need to give your name.

walbert · 01/10/2007 20:27

Call them asap: how angry is that child to alegedly refuse to react?

WideWebWitch · 01/10/2007 20:27

of course, call them.

PinkChick · 01/10/2007 20:28

or how scared as to what she'll do if they do react. i cant beleive you are umming and ahing about if to ring ss or not

Original poster

Lolabelle · 01/10/2007 20:29

I know, i know. I don't know where to start so i'll look on the web for info but our mutual friend said its pretty bad but the chold just doesn't cry, he just sort of takes it which i find terrible. I feel maybe i should talk to her but i don't know her and it sounds like she isn't coping at all with her postnatal depression either and spends a lot of time at home alone with her two children and to be honest i don't think she'd listen to me. my dh is pushing me to call so good to hear you agree.

OP posts:

tribpot · 01/10/2007 20:30

You know what you need to do.

berrybliss · 01/10/2007 20:30

God!call them the child and the mother both need help.

Original poster

Lolabelle · 01/10/2007 20:31

I've only just found this all out and just wanted to voice it on here first as sometimes it helps to hear it in black & white thats all. Deep down i'd made my mind up anyhow, i was going to call her gp as well or instead i didn't know which would be best tbh..

OP posts:

PinkChick · 01/10/2007 20:31

dont you speak to her, you are not trained to deal with the can of worms that will come flying out, nor would you relish the smack she may offer you!..ring ss/police, whatver, you cant sit by and watch this child be beaten!

Original poster

Lolabelle · 01/10/2007 20:33

Just had my second child also so need agro like a hole in the head but can't ignore this. can't quite believe our mutual friend has known for a short while and not done anything. Kinda shocked me.

OP posts:

Peachy · 01/10/2007 20:33

call them definitely

SS will try and keep the family together- but it may be that Mum, if she indeed has PND, needs some help ASAP. leave it a few months and the result could be fatal or at least permamnent.

if you're worried, look at the NSPCC wesite- they ahve a helpline where they'll be able to discuss this with you anonymously and give you advice.

HTH

SpacePuppy · 01/10/2007 20:34

I would suggest a chat with your local hv, she is bound to be able to give you contact info to handle this matter. Good luck is sounds as if you might be in for a heartbreaking session, it is always sad to know a helpless child is being treated badly. Don't let this go on, she probably only needs some guidance herself and some help.

Original poster

Lolabelle · 01/10/2007 20:35

Thanks Peachy i needed to know where to look so i'll look at the website. Her PND is bad, shes on antidepressants but clearly needs more help. She has a small unplanned baby also and her relationship is on teh rocks..

OP posts:

PinkChick · 01/10/2007 20:35

you wouldnt get aggro and tbh, it wouldnt stop me!, i ran the risk of same thing a while back, i couldnt sit by and watch (grandma smacking her gc, mum DOESNT smack), mum sorted out sharpish and thanked me, it could have bit me on the arse, but i dont care, that little boy/girl is a baby and their mother needs hellp NOW

Theclosetpagan · 01/10/2007 20:38

Lolabelle - you can make your call anonymously to them - they won't identify you but will investigate your concerns - especially if your friend who witnessed it does the same. Do it - she may be finding life really hard and tbh SS might even be able to offer her some support. The important thing is that this is brought to their attention though.

JustcallmeMAT · 01/10/2007 20:39

The woman needs help.

She perhaps doesn't know any other way of disciplining her little one.

So the sooner you get her help, the better it will be for all concerned.

I would feel awful too, but these days SS don't want to split families up, they will want to get her the help she needs.

NappiesLaGore · 01/10/2007 20:39

oh how awful. and well done lolabelle for doing something.please do it soon.

loobylooby · 01/10/2007 20:41

I have a lot of links with C&F social services. They always look to try and keep families together by offering the appropriate support, so please don't worry (in case you were) that by making a call to SS you may cause this woman to lose the child (unless the abuse is really severe, in which case, you have a duty to the child to report it). By reporting it to SS (and also HV & GP if possible), you will probably be allowing this woman to access the support she needs. I think really it is a win-win situation for both mother and child.

Original poster

Lolabelle · 01/10/2007 20:41

i'm on the phone now. can't believe i had to ask either.

OP posts:

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