To ask you when life with baby gets easier

[2020ns]

I'm a first time mum to a 15 week old baby.

I've been coping okay with everything up until now, but I got to this weekend and suddenly feel frazzled. I think it's hit me just how deeply tired I am.

There's just so much to do all the time - looking after baby first and foremost, keeping the house presentable, a constant never-ending flow of laundry, trying to keep in touch with friends from LBB (life before baby), which I'm doing very badly at. DH and I split a lot of the work but I still feel exhausted.

We're off on holiday soon and the amount of organisation involved with a baby is just overwhelming, not to mention how daunting it is that he'll be in a completely different routine and sleeping in a strange new cot, which could potentially be very unsettling.

If I'm honest I'd rather just stay home than face all of that and the potential sleep disruption to myself when I'm already totally knackered, but it's too late to cancel now.

I know people say that something's got to give, but the only thing I could do less of is the housework and that to me is essential - mentally I get very low if I'm surrounded by mess and untidiness.

I also thought that things were meant to get easier around the three month mark, but that hasn't happened - if anything DS is crankier and cries just as much as ever. I've no idea what's causing this - I've had him examined by the doctor and there's nothing physically wrong with him. He naps quite well in the day usually too (with a lot of intervention from me).

DS slept from 8pm-4am yesterday so it's not like I'm not getting any free time. But it still all just feels so endlessly demanding.

Not sure what the point of this post is really - I just needed somewhere to vent. Thanks for reading if you've got this far.

It varies op and it's up and down according to sleep and teething etc.
I was in the mindset of wanting things, and me, to 'get back to normal' for years and I wish I'd let gp of that much sooner and accepted the new normal.
It can be a tough period of adjustment and its knackering. Hope you have a nice break.

I found from 6 months things got easier because she could sit unaided and entertain herself for a few minutes. She's 1 year old now and even though she's on the move, I find this stage way easier than the early months.

We went away for a week at 5 months and although the packing was a massive ball-ache, it was more relaxing than I thought it might be. It's childcare in a different place, but a change of scene can be refreshing and there's 2 of you pitching in all the time.

In a couple more months the hardest bit will be behind you (IME anyway). Oh, and if you can afford it get a cleaner!

Thanks everyone. I just feel completely bone tired. I wish I could put the baby on pause for 24 hours and just sleep!

Holiday is self catering - I wish we’d booked a hotel now but we wanted to save money.

There’s no budget for a cleaner unfortunately.

We went on a holiday for the first time when our DS was 2-3 months. Remember also how nervous we were about packing everything he needs etc Ours was a road trip staying at hotels, and indeed I found it a real holiday despite obviously doing things on the baby’s terms. But, there were two of us sharing responsibility, no house work, change of scenery. I was very nervous beforehand about him crying at night in hotels and driving everyone mad, but the more our trip progressed the more I relaxed about this. He cried a bit, yes, but overall adjusted much better than expected to a new bed every few nights.

In a way I found traveling with a baby very easy, as he’d take long naps in the stroller while we had lunches, coffees or walked around. Now he’s a toddler and needs to be kept entertained more. Generally life has become easier though as lack of sleep has much improved etc.

OP, even if it’s self catering, you can still eat out, do takeaways and minimize any effort when it comes to cooking.

Definitely don't plan difficult meals! Take aways definitely, also things like frozen pizza and a ready made lasagne etc that can just be shoved in the oven.