Is this standard at nurseries?

[otterbaby]

FTM here starting to look around at nurseries...we will be sending our daughter to nursery full time when she's around 9-10 months old.

It appears as though in our area, the standard age group for her would be 6 months - 2 years.

What I have noticed and is bothering me a bit, is that most of them seem to advertise a 2-course lunch, with the second course being dessert. Is this normal? It's not just fruit, it's things like chocolate cake, ice cream, jelly, bananas and custard, etc. I'm not really keen on my baby having dessert after lunch on a daily basis. If I want her to have something sweet, I'd like to do it on my own terms. And having it every day (for lunch, no less) takes away from the idea of it being a "treat".

This then begs the question, does that make me the witchy mother who has to stipulate that I don't want her to be given these desserts and instead she can have fruit or yogurt? And cue meltdowns when her friends get chocolate cake and she gets an apple?

What is everyone else's experiences?

The nursery mine went to only ever provided fruit or yogurt as dessert, they seemed quite strict. I remember one of the ladies telling me that pancakes had to be taken off the afternoon snack menu because they had too much sugar.

No, not ice cream or cake every day. Dessert every day.

I think dessert every day is odd.

Dessert every day is odd? Even yoghurt or fruit? A piece of tart or ice cream sometimes? It’s normal. That’s why nurseries and schools provide dessert. Look at the menus of French kindergartens. A three or four-course meal, including dessert, is normal.

@daisypond

No, not ice cream or cake every day. Dessert every day.

there is a big difference between fruit and cake. People should have fruit daily. They probably shouldn't be eating sticky toffee pudding everyday. Calling them both 'dessert' doesn't change this fact

It’s standard all through nursery and primary school. When they get to secondary they’ll eat whatever they like, and if you’re trying to restrict her diet that much she’ll likely bypass the main and just binge on pudding while she can

Our DD's nursery does dessert as part of lunch and afternoon tea. It's pretty varied, they have various fruits (apple, melon, pineapple, fruit salads, orange...), yoghurt, or cake (flapjack, cookie, brownie, sponge cake). Usually they will have say fruit with lunch and cake with tea or the other way around. The portion sizes are tiny though. It's never bothered me but then she only goes 3 days a week and we don't do a lot of dessert on the other days. She's 2 now and has been there since 9m. Honestly probably when your DC is older you'll be wishing you could still just worry about dessert if my DD's eating is anything to go by these days!! She eats fab at nursery though apparently!

Dessert every day isn’t odd imo, did no one else have school dinners with dessert when they grew up?
My LO has fruit and/ or a party ring after her main meal. - she’s going through a hating yogurt faze.

I don’t like yoghurt myself but in our house it’s mostly a breakfast food eaten with fruit or cereal or part of a healthy lunch (not a dessert, part of the lunch itself.

Fruit too is either part of a lunch or a healthy snack. Not necessarily a dessert. I often slice an apple and put it on my plate with a chicken salad and a handful of grapes.

Today for example I ate

Scrambled egg on toast for breakfast

Chicken salad baguette for lunch

Two biscuits with a cup of tea mid afternoon.

Sausage, mash, swede, cabbage, peas & gravy.

Why on earth would I need pudding as well?

Dessert every day is fairly normal, they get it at school meals as well as at nursery. It's not really an issue at 9/10 months but at some point the child not getting what the other are will notice.

My DD has whatever nursery or school offered at mealtimes, she's just finished reception and is a brilliant eater- very little she won't eat and desserts are very much a take it or leave it thing for her, she also will ask for fruit as a pudding so hasn't made the connection of cakes = dessert (and today she asked for an ice cube for pudding 🤷🏼‍♀️) but friends of hers who have been treat or rewarded with sweets and cakes have a far less healthy relationship with food.

I think treating desserts as treats breeds a less healthy relationship. I read a while ago about the connection of having done something well so rewarding yourself with a food treat, or having the message that you must clear your plate then get dessert is really hard to move away from in later life (eg. 'I've done well today so will eat some cake!' or eating a big plate of food and being full then needing something sweet as a reward). It certainly explains a lot about my bad relationship with food and subsequent obesity so I have never insisted my children clear a plate or have food based rewards nor are they particularly denied anything. Dessert/cakes/sweets are just a type of food they eat in moderation.

And honestly a dessert after lunch isn't that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things.

DS nursery does pudding after lunch every day. They serve three meals (breakfast, lunch, light tea) and two snacks per day (the snacks tend to be fruit or a rice cake/breadstick) pudding is usually fruit based but sometimes things like rice pudding. They probably have cake too. If they've been baking that day they'll eat that (unsurprisingly those are his favourite days).

As long as he's happy and healthy I don't really care what he eats at nursery.

Though, for what it's worth, his nursery (chain) consult dieticians and nutritionists, and the cooking is on site. Its possible I would feel differently if this wasn't the case. He's 2 now so I don't think I'd force him to eat differently than his peers without good reason.

We definitely have dessert every day. And often that is a fruit pie or crumble, a tart, cake, ice cream, yoghurt with fruit. We make everything from scratch - well, not the ice cream.

Things must have changed in ten years if this is normal. All the nurseries we looked at had healthier dessert options. It was fruit or yoghurts. It was only when she hit school that the sweet pudding type things were on the menu.

The nursery we use will have some form of dessert. Fruit and yoghurt, rice pudding, chocolate cake etc. All made on site as others said sweetened with apple juice etc. They make other desserts for people with allergies.

We've always let ours have what's on the menu. They don't have desserts at home but do at school/ nursery. As a baby they won't know but I have seen enough apologetic looking nursery nurse telling parents that the child got really upset at mealtimes because they wanted pudding.

It is fairly standard for nurseries (and schools) - the cakes & custard is probably barely more sugary than the yoghurt and fromage frais though!

I’m a childminder and always offer fruit and/or greek yoghurt after lunch. Occasionally other dairy based puddings like fromage frais, banana & custard or rice pudding. But always 2 courses.

Yes it is normal and it really annoys me! School do it too and now my kids ask for pudding after every meal!

The issue here is that you already see it as a "treat" - which it shouldn't be. That's how you encourage fussy eating or kids who crave sugar because they think it's naughty or exciting. Food is food.

The issue here is that you already see it as a "treat" - which it shouldn't be. That's how you encourage fussy eating or kids who crave sugar because they think it's naughty or exciting. Food is food.

I disagree, a choc pudding is a treat. A treat doesn’t mean naughty. My 4 year old calls Sweets etc a ‘special treat’ and he is anything but fussy and doesn’t crave sugar. He’s happy getting 1-2 ‘treats’ a week max.

I don't think calling something a treat is synonymous with it being either a reward or something naughty, it's just a treat because it's not a staple

We have sweet things and junk things in the house sometimes and it's neither as a reward or described as naughty, just what it is!

A bit like we go on a special day out sometimes as a treat, but it isn't as a reward and it certainly isn't "bad"

I think I'd struggle to afford puddings everyday and I think we have a fair grocery budget. We do often have fruit or nuts after dinner though, or yoghurts as a snack or whatever. But I wouldn't want to have to bake cakes or flapjacks or whatever as well as need the money to cover nutritious things!

School do it too and now my kids ask for pudding after every meal!

We’re 6 years in to the “you don’t need pudding after every meal” fight!

Food issues/ obesity isn’t really down to puddings, it’s down to snacking.

@Comefromaway how is your diet relevant to a baby’s in nursery? I’m sure the baby hasn’t eaten scrambled eggs, toast, a baguette and a sausage roast in nursery. Let alone the tea and biscuits which would basically be a pudding in itself.

I think I'd struggle to afford puddings everyday and I think we have a fair grocery budget. We do often have fruit or nuts after dinner though, or yoghurts as a snack or whatever. But I wouldn't want to have to bake cakes or flapjacks or whatever as well as need the money to cover nutritious things!
Of course, money is part of it. But I would say that it’s wrong to suggest that puddings aren’t nutritious. They may well be. Fruit, nuts, yoghurt are nutritious. As would be a fruit tart or crumble. As is ice cream for its dairy and fat, flapjacks for their oats and nuts, etc. All things in moderation.

@Itsjustabitofbanter it is relevant if pps are saying puddings are normally part of a daily diet in general

I'm not massively anti puddings and I think in the situation as described with apple juice sweeteners etc I'd be happy with it at nursery, but I do think it's odd there and at schools as still can't really think what puddings add nutritionally (except fruit and yoghurts for example of course)

I was talking to DH about it tonight as never remember having puddings growing up except at Christmas or dinner parties/family gatherings (or birthday cake!) but he did in his household so I appreciate everyone is different! For me it would be the cost and time of making an extra course though