does anyone have an unpopular kid?

[user1493039269]

Just that really - does anyone have an unpopular kid, how old were they when it became apparent they were unpopular, and what do you do to support them?

I remind myself and my children that as adults we get to search high and low for people we like and can move jobs, try lots of different churches, clubs, etc to find people who understand us and that it can be hard for children who don't have these freedoms. Even now, my favourite companion is myself!! I hike.. a lot and while I love having company, I am very fussy about the company I keep while hiking and I would rather hike alone than with someone who is in anyway less than the perfect companion.

My DS age 4 .. not invited to any parties at preschool. Preschool said he had a little gang of friends and I know they each had parties, I have their parents on social media. I had some of them to his party last year. But nope. No one requested him in their class for school ( preschool told me that as they were suprised) I couldn't do a party for DS due to lockdown.

My DS is quiet, sweet, cautious and not into wild boisterous antics. He loves typical boy toys, but not things like football and he doesn't get superheroes. He likes animals, cooking and nature. Sadly he doesn't fit with the stereotypical girls either, as he's not into make believe playing dolls or colouring. Plus he's car crazy.

I was shy and unpopular at school. Then on the edge of groups. I have really tried to push myself now for my DS, but I think other parents do not really like me. I think I present that aloof quality which is being shy and not having much to say. I don't work or have any hobbies apart from
Dog walking. Some people are good talkers and I can chat away with them, it's getting started that's the issue.

I'm so sad we don't have anyone for DS to play with over the summer holidays. He asks me "will I see my friends today?" No we don't have any. He asks me "is xxx in my class at big school?" Nope he isn't. It breaks my heart, it can't be good for him. I try to reach out ( twice last week) and turned down despite being flexible. One "friend" is busy for the next 7 weeks apparently

Oh, whitemouse . He hasn't even started school yet, he may well fly. Please don't despair just yet.

My DD age 7 is not unpopular but is definitely on the periphery. Others will play with her but she’s not their first choice iyswim and they usually have other, better friends. I can see how this has happened as (being honest) her social skills were not great until the past year or so, plus her class had a weird Queen Bee situation going on. Luckily they mix up the classes this year so hopefully she will find her people.

Remember kids who have secure friendships in early school life can find those friends move away, or ditch them, or grow apart. Then others who struggled at primary can find their niche in secondary or even later. Yes there are a few who find friends easily at every stage but they are the minority.

Out of school friendships and activities are really important I think for DC who may struggle with school friendships. At least it means their social eggs are not all in one basket.

I do, my dd. She had no friends at all until a new student joined her class but if her fiend is ever off sick or away then she is completely alone.
She struggles so much at school, constant bullying and cruel remarks from the other girls in her class who all act friendly with her in front of the adults and then whisper mean things and laugh at her.
She is always being excluded from games and friendship groups, one particular child took a huge disliking to her when she started at the school and purposely “took” friends away from her.
She hates school so much yet no matter how much I phone in, no matter how many meetings and conversations they just keep saying “she seems fine” when I’m telling them she isn’t.
She has autism and it’s awful when your child comes to you crying and asking you why are they so different. Why do no one like them?
I’m at a loss with how to help her.

This is an incredibly sad thread. It's a bloody jungle out there

I was that kid. Had no real friends, jumped from group to group. Had to ask kids if I could hang out with them.

One hard memory is sitting in the corner of the toilets on my jacket on the floor having my lunch and people walking past and looking down at me :( I'm a lovely person. I don't know what the problem was :(

This makes me feel sad but not so alone. For context, since earlier this year I've noticed that other kids just do not want to play with my DS (3.5). He desperately wants them to but seems to annoy them to the point they ignore him/tell him to go away. Even his cousins couldn't really tolerate him last time we saw them. I have also heard other children say he can't play with them because he's 'weird'. On a couple of occasions as well I've noticed at groups other kids (older ones) have singled him out and hit him.

I just don't know what to do. I guess I'm a bit odd but I've always had friends/never been picked on.

@EmpressSuiko could you home educate?