Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

If breastfeeding was hard first time round, how did it go with 2nd child?

41 replies

Pantheon · 12/07/2020 17:44

Just that really. I breastfeed dd but it was so hard at the beginning to get her to latch on properly. Worries about weight loss, not gaining quickly enough etc. Just wondered if anyone else had been in this boat and if it was any easier the 2nd time around?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

MumOfFraggle · 12/07/2020 17:48

Ooooo watching with interest. I'm nowhere near having a second (DD is only 7 months) but I'm very curious to know if it gets easier after being a nightmare first time round.

mindutopia · 12/07/2020 18:29

It was super straightforward the second time around. I had a horrific time with my 1st, mostly due to horrible care (and untreated thrush, which everyone told me couldn't possibly be thrush and because I was a 1st time mum I 'didn't know any better' - it was definitely thrush, all the skin peeled off my areolas and I still have scars). The 2nd time around I did plan better. I expressed antenatally, so I had plenty of colostrum to feed (which helps perk babies up when they are sleepy initially). But honestly, I was a different person and I had a very different baby who could actually feed. It was great though. He was ebf, never even had a bottle of expressed milk, and I fed him to 15 months with not a single issue.

MyCatReallyIsAGit · 12/07/2020 19:11

I had a tricky time with my first - traumatic birth, EMCS, he had severe tongue tie (not diagnosed until he was almost one) and my milk was slow to come in, so he lost 17% of his birth weight and we were back in hospital by day 5. Lots of formula top-ups but went on to feed until he was almost three.

My second was a different kettle of fish. I expressed colostrum in advance and never needed it. Nice calm ELCS and he latched in recovery. No tongue tie. Had gained weight by day 5 and now tracks the 91st centile nicely. He does have reflux, but feeding has been a dream compared with last time.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

MaverickSnoopy · 12/07/2020 19:29

1st - struggled A LOT and ended up combi feeding due to weight loss and jaundice. Probably a good 50/50 split. Gave up bf at 6mo. Later found out she had a tongue tie.

2nd - same as above but gave up at 3mo. Probably a 40bf/60ff split. Worked hard with lots of professionals.

3rd - I thought it was going better because of lots of nappies. Turned out she was allergic to my milk. After the initial difficulties and tongue tie being cut I combi fed until she was 14mo, probably a 20bf/80ff split.

Hardest struggle of my life. I don't think I'd change it though. I do have regrets and wish it had been different. I also wish the support had been better and more accessible.

Don't base your decision on other people though. You have no way of knowing how it will be for you. You can always just try with a view that you might combi feed or ff if it's too hard.

Lockdownseperation · 12/07/2020 20:00

First baby I had emcs, spesis, ptsd symptoms and baby has tongue tie and undiagnosed CMPA. I gave up bf at 6 weeks.

DD2, the start was hard but I knew how and where to get help. I learnt a lot about breast feeding. It took a while to pin point her allergies but she is 1 yrs in a weeks time and we are still going.

Jenniferturkington · 12/07/2020 20:07

1st- absolute nightmare, I kept going but it wasn’t pain free until about 12 weeks.
2nd- (was still feeding dc1 who was 19months) painful for a few days but otherwise so much easier. She was a very efficient feeder and didn’t spend hours at a time feeding. Fed her until just over two.
3rd- hadn’t bf for a few years. It was the easiest to get established and I didn’t have any problems. I didn’t feed her beyond 14 months as she lost all interest.

RainbowCookie · 12/07/2020 20:09

Absolute nightmare with my first gave up after 6 weeks. Easy as pie with my second and BF exclusively for 6 months. I decided it was my first child that was defective and not my boobs 😂

EmmaGrundyForPM · 12/07/2020 20:10

DS1 was premature, born without suck reflex, bf was a nightmare. struggled on for 10 weeks before we were referred to hospital as he was 'failure to thrive'. Ended up.mixed feeding until he was about 11 months when he gave up.bf completely.

Ds2 took to the breast straightaway and pretty much stayed there until I went back to work at 6 months. He refused any type of bottle even with breast milk in it but eventually started at the childminder with my expressed milk in a sippy cup. He carried on bf until just after his 1st birthday and then one evening be point blank refused and went cold Turkey.

Elllicam · 12/07/2020 20:15

I have had 4 babies, the first and fourth were very difficult and the second and third were easy as anything. I suspect that it’s got as much to do with the baby as the mum.

happylittlevegemites · 12/07/2020 20:18

So much easier. Though, having only stopped feeding a toddler 6 months prior, I’d forgotten that wee babies need a lot of help.

I had a long labour and EMCS with my first, concerning weight loss and mixed feeding. The second didn’t go quite to plan but was better, despite the major bleed. She fed for many hours, but got so full and sleepy she ended up jaundiced, which wasn’t great, but the actual feeding bit wasn’t the issue.

Digestive28 · 12/07/2020 20:18

Like a dream. First was awful feeding experience and a huge amount of guilt and a feeling I just wasn’t trying hard enough. Second was problem free and I finally knew what people meant when they said feeding didn’t hurt.

BrieAndChilli · 12/07/2020 20:21

All of mine were a nightmare for the first 4 weeks, bad latch, lost loads of weight, shredded nipples, masistis, etc
Then with all of mine after 4 weeks it became easy and I fed them all for a year.
By my 3rd I became confident in the fact that they would soon put weight on and feeding would get easier.

Irre247 · 12/07/2020 20:23

Much easier second time around, mentally at least- I knew what I was letting myself in for and just got on with it. No2 had issues with weight gain and the dreaded centiles but I knew she was fine and ignored the “you have to top up” crap.

She was tongue tied, but I didn’t have any pain after the first few weeks and having it snipped didn’t help with weight, she was just born waterlogged! Once she found her centile she followed it.

No1 I felt massively pressured and just found it all too much and ended up combi feeding then stopping all together at around 6/7 months. No2 is still going at least 9 months.

Number3or4 · 12/07/2020 21:47

First time it was easy and second very difficult (I came very close to giving up).

gerbo · 12/07/2020 21:50

I had a very hard time with my first, took two weeks of horrible stress and worry and tears, but then she seemed to 'get it' and we were off- she fed for a year.

Second dc, easy as can be from day 1 - completely different experience. He fed easily from the start, for 11 months.

gerbo · 12/07/2020 21:50

I had a very hard time with my first, took two weeks of horrible stress and worry and tears, but then she seemed to 'get it' and we were off- she fed for a year.

Second dc, easy as can be from day 1 - completely different experience. He fed easily from the start, for 11 months.

AnchySunny · 12/07/2020 21:55

I really do believe it has something to do with the baby because with my first son I struggled a lot but I also had PND and not much supporting family. When I got pregnant with my second I clearly stated I need neither help or comments. I am BFing him now 18 months already and I apsolutely enjoy it all the time. Now Istruggle with guilt for not being this strong with my first

seaduck · 12/07/2020 22:21

I've struggled with both of mine, weight gain being the issue, I had no issues with latch or pain, its just not getting enough into them. I ended up combi feeding from week 3 with my second as I just saw it was going down the same path, he was nowhere near birth weight still.
It didnt mean I have up completely, I combi fed for a year then dropped the formula and just bf (obv along with food) till he was 18m. But I really wish I didn't have to use bottles etc, it's such a faff.

Pregnant with no 3 and hoping this one will be the one that clicks (faint hope!). This thread is giving me some hope.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 12/07/2020 22:30

DD had a tongue tie and feeding her caused me agony. She was also so upset all the time because a lot of the milk was dribbling out of her mouth again. I was back in hospital when she was just over a week old with mastitis.

We had her tongue tie snipped at 5 weeks but she had developed such a horrendous latch by then that I was in agony. I had help from professionals but decided to express and formula feed. I gave up expressing when DD was about 3.5 months when I was expressing blood from cracked nipples.

I’m due DD2 in September and want to try again. I’ll have to see how it goes. I predict she’ll also have a tongue tie as, when we went to have DD’s snipped, the doctor was able to hear that DH has one without even looking and, when she looked at mine, she said mine was more severe than his.

alwje19282 · 12/07/2020 22:33

First really hard, second amazingly easy.

Delbelleber · 12/07/2020 22:57

The first was very painful and probably didn't feel right until 8 months but I never asked for help after the first few days so I just carried on and didn't enjoy it. The 2nd I was determined to get it right and I was so lucky to have an amazing midwife that helped me with the latch in the first few days at home and I had a far better experience of feeding. I'm now feeding dc3 and I remembered how to latch from dc2 so I haven't needed any help and although it took a little longer than with dc2 we got it right within a few days but I used formula top ups from week 3 to 6 as I felt dc3 wasn't satisfied and my nipples were getting sore. After the tub ran out I didn't buy anymore . Exclusively breastfeeding again now at 8 weeks and it's going really well.

GloriousTechnicolour · 12/07/2020 23:01

I found my second much easier but she was a much smaller baby and didn't need to eat so much! She did have a better knack for it though and I was possibly more confident and knew what to expect. Both of mine combination fed from day one with no problems.

I have a friend who had it the other way round. Had an easy time feeding first time and struggled to understand people who found it difficult. Second time round was a nightmare and she finally got what other people were complaining about!

So it might be partly about the mother and partly about the baby.

winniesanderson · 12/07/2020 23:05

It was hard getting going with my eldest. Struggled to latch, ended up using shields permanently and lasted maybe 4 months. Second time round (with an 8 year age gap) was also hard. Again I struggled to get positioning/latch right. Was more painful in the beginning. The age gap was pretty big I suppose and I was quite rusty with positioning and things. However I knew where to go to get support and I knew I'd successfully done it before so it would be possible to do it again all being well. I did again use shields but this time managed to wean off them after a month or so. We've had some difficulties with latch, milk flow, the odd bout of thrush, but I'm still breastfeeding a few times a day, mostly by night and she's now just turned 2.

xyzandabc · 12/07/2020 23:06

I went through hell with no.1. It took her 12 weeks to figure out how to breast feed properly. I fed her expressed milk as well as trying to get her to feed direct and it very nearly broke me.

No. 2 was born just knowing what to do. Fed in the 1st 2 hours and just carried on like that, no bother at all.

No.3 was a bit painful and sore for the 1st couple of weeks but nothing like the issues of no.1.

fellrunner85 · 12/07/2020 23:11

1st was hell but persevered through tongue tie, 12% weight loss and a readmission to hospital, to eventually bf for 12 months.

2nd was also tongue tied, the snip failed and we gave up at the point where she lost 15% of her birthweight. She was ff from around 4 weeks.

From my experience, you can express milk round the clock and try harder to make bf work when the baby is your sole focus, but when you're on your 2nd baby and there's a demanding toddler in the mix, it can be impossible.

Flip

1 2