If breastfeeding was hard first time round, how did it go with 2nd child?

[Pantheon]

Just that really. I breastfeed dd but it was so hard at the beginning to get her to latch on properly. Worries about weight loss, not gaining quickly enough etc. Just wondered if anyone else had been in this boat and if it was any easier the 2nd time around?

1st - Awful.
2nd - Successful but still hard work.

First time round was a fucking nightmare - premature twins, put in separate parts of the hospital (twins split up and I wasn't able to be with either for first 24 hours). I never was able to exclusively breast feed them and gave up entirely about 4 weeks in.

Second time round was a dream, I breast fed exclusively for 8 months.

Breastfeeding and formula definitely have their individual merits so either way it'll be lovely!

2 years BFing DD1. I struggled with DD2 and asked for help but the health visitor refused (!!) as I had years of experience (her words). I asked a different hv a week later who took one look and was shocked at the amount of blood - actually was concerned there might be too much blood to keep feeding. Gah. There wasn't. Although I was in quite a mess by then! Both HVs useless. I hit gold at hv number 3 :) Fed DD2 for 3 years.

2 years BFing DD1. I struggled with DD2 and asked for help but the health visitor refused (!!) as I had years of experience (her words). I asked a different hv a week later who took one look and was shocked at the amount of blood - actually was concerned there might be too much blood to keep feeding. Gah. There wasn't. Although I was in quite a mess by then! Both HVs useless. I hit gold at hv number 3 :) Fed DD2 for 3 years.

First (and second): twins, total shit show. Born small and sleepy, struggled to latch, were readmitted on day three due to jaundice and weight loss. I was exhausted and didn’t have the stamina for cluster feeding. No support: just told to keep doing skin to skin. Switched primarily to formula when they were readmitted, and then kept it up after. Some bf every day until eight weeks, but really just token amounts.

Third baby: absolute dream birth (genuinely, would pay money to do it again), she latched on within about ten minutes, and away we went. Still going at 18 months. I feel so lucky that I got to experience just one baby and the birth and feeding experience that’s come along with her.

First I gave up after a week. DS1 was formula fed, slept in a cot from 6 weeks and his own room from 6 months. Through the night by 8 months. My second was EBF for 6 months, and combo for another 2. DS2 and I took about 3 weeks and from then BF was a dream. He co slept with me for 9 months and took til he was nearly a year to get into his own room and til he was 18 months to sleep through.

They're now both at school and it doesn't matter a bit how that first year went for either.

I had an absolutely horrendous time first time round. Tongue tie x 2, was told that physiologically I did not produce enough milk. Felt like I spent every day visit some breastfeeding professional or another - midwives, lactation consultants, cranial osteopaths - you name it, I did it. Meanwhile my big baby was getting thinner and thinner. Switched to mix feeding and was wracked with guilt everytime I made up a bottle. Kept this up for seven months.

Second baby I said I would try bottle feeding straight away if bf didn’t Work out. Have a pantry full of formula which I haven’t needed to use. Apart from a few bottles while I was getting tongue tie sorted in the first couple of weeks, it’s been absolutely fine. My baby is huge and I can’t quite believe it is as “easy” as I heard everyone saying it was while I listened on with gritted teeth

1st. Awful.

2nd. Easy, no soreness, gained weight immediately and short feeds. It was weird. I did refuse visitors and stayed in pjs for the best part of two weeks though. It helped.

Easy ! I fed all through my pregnancy though, only stopped a few weeks before I gave birth. You know what you are doing the second time, i was much more relaxed about it, and it didn’t hurt .

First time- couldn't latch, insanely painful cracked nipples, mastitis needing antibiotics.

Second time a dream

Thanks everyone for your replies. It's reassured me as, although I obviously don't know how it'd be for me, a lot of people seem to have had a better experience second time round. At least I'll know where to go for help/what to expect more, if nothing else. I think I'll express colostrum second time round too.

Also, sorry to hear the difficulties people have experienced xx

Thanks OP for starting this thread. I’ve been wondering the same. DS1 was tongue tied but I didn’t realise until he was about 6 months (and then didn’t see any point in treating it...Hope was right decision). The first few weeks were so tough bfing him. I cried for every feed because of the pain. Eventually pain went away but he gained weight really slowly and dropped from 75th to 25th centile. He fed constantly as well. I feel absolutely wracked with guilt that he was hungry because his tongue tie meant he was an inefficient feeder and I didn’t realise. I loved bfing him though and he was ebf (never took a single bottle) to 13 months.

I’m pregnant again and due soon and I really want to bf this baby too, hopefully more successfully. Planning to get her thoroughly checked for tongue tie this time.

So, so much easier. Actually had and felt an obvious 'let down reflex'.

And I was more assertive, despite having PND. I was in survival mode. I put my foot down over visitors, said no to being sent upstairs to a spartan boxroom in MIL's house to breastfeed, and to being bossed about by my cheating (Ex)H about how long I should bf for*

*No, I don't know what possessed me to marry him either. But I was free 3 years later.

This is encouraging to read. I won’t get into it all but DS was a nightmare. I struggled on for 7 months but it never clicked or got easier and it really messed with my mental health. DS was diagnosed with swallow issues aged 2 years so I think he had undiagnosed feeding issues, as supply definitely wasn’t a problem.

I feel miserable at the idea of breastfeeding second baby, but feel like I should at least try. I would give anything for it to just click this time around, because I can’t face a repeat of DS!

DD: really difficult, struggles with latch, struggled with positioning. It got quite tied in with my PND and I felt incredibly self-conscious feeding in front of people. Stopped at 3 months (which caused huge amounts of guilt etc).
DD is nearly 5 and is thriving so clearly it was all fine.

DS: no problems at all. Latch perfect from first feed, fed easily in every position, I felt confident and I didn’t have pnd. He’s 13 months and still feeding twice a day (first thing & last thing).

Honestly, I was almost dreading it this time round but it couldn’t have gone any better.