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Original poster

Holiday next year without son?

47 replies

Pantana90 · 05/07/2020 12:05

Our family holiday to America (myself, partner and our son aged 2) this summer has been cancelled due to the pandemic. We are thankfully able to get our money back.

For years we have dreamed about going on safari in Africa and would like to do it early next year, but we wouldn't be able to bring our son because he's too young/he simply wouldn't appreciate it at that age. Coronavirus permitting, we'd be gone for 8 nights - week-long trip and one day travel time.

Does that make us bad parents? We want to add to our family next year and that'd make a safari holiday even harder, so we feel early next year is a great opportunity to hopefully do it. Our son would be staying 4 nights each at his aunt's and grandparents, who he loves. So, if the chance arises, should we go or are we being selfish?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

PotteringAlong · 05/07/2020 12:10

You pays your money, you takes your choice.

I wouldn’t do it. I wouldn’t go that far away for that long from my children, spending thousands of pounds which mean we couldn’t go away as a family. But plenty of people would. It doesn’t make it right or wrong, just different.

Original poster

Pantana90 · 05/07/2020 12:13

@PotteringAlong

You pays your money, you takes your choice.

Yeah it's hard but in his two years he's already been to Krakow and a few US states, well travelled 😂

OP posts:

1940s · 05/07/2020 12:16

Personally I wouldn't. I couldn't bear such an incredible experience and knowing my three year old would have wanted to see it too.

Can't you wait another 6-8 years when you can take both children and enjoy it together?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

2 year olds Families General parenting Holidays

user1493413286 · 05/07/2020 12:18

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it; I’d want to still take my child on holiday but the ideal holiday for my DD at 2 would probably be a UK break with little travel and a swimming pool and play park (eg, a caravan park, center parks etc).
Once you have another it makes it harder to ask people to look after them and it’d then be years before you could go.

DoAsYouWouldBeMumBy · 05/07/2020 12:21

I wouldn't like the idea of both parents being so far away from a 2 year old - that's a long separation for such a small child, and it might have a long lasting effect on him.

With regard to recent events, what if you get stuck there for a while? I know it's your dream holiday, but you should either have done it before you had kids or wait till they're old enough either to join you or grown up enough not to need you any more.

Pipandmum · 05/07/2020 12:23

He'll be three so will not remember much. However, we took our kids, 20 months and 2 and a half, to Australia for a month (it was a once in a lifetime opportunity) - it was amazing and though they don't remember it much it was the most time they ever spent with their Dad, which was the best part of it.

notheragain4 · 05/07/2020 12:27

If you have somewhere to leave him where you can trust them and relax then no of course not, being a parent doesn't mean all your life experiences now have to involve your children. DH and I have holidayed 3 times without our kids, none of the holidays were appropriate for them for their age. It's important for DH and I to still have special experiences as a couple and they had an awesome time with grandparents.

FinallyHere · 05/07/2020 12:29

It's tricky, isn't it.

You might find your son has a wonderful time, loves being with GP and aunt and babbles endlessly about his experience there. If he does love it, it would be a lovely bond between them.

Alternatively, he might go round being brave and looking sad, asking each evening when Mummy & Daddy will be coining back, do they still love me?

I can see why PP say they wouldn't risk it.

notheragain4 · 05/07/2020 12:30

"Do they still love me?" Jesus Christ.

potter5 · 05/07/2020 12:32

I would go.

SleepingStandingUp · 05/07/2020 12:33

U wouldn't but that doesn't mean you shouldn't.

Are you happy for them to sign off on any treatment he might need in your absence? When we were in with DS I remember a nan in with dgd, emergency appendectomy, parents holidaying in Spain and unable to get back. Grandad was home with the dogs.

Can you manage at least a UK break somewhere together?

If they'd I get out there, would they be able to jeep DS without putting their job at risk?

Original poster

Pantana90 · 05/07/2020 12:40

Thanks for all the advice! I've noticed it on other threads but is there always "doom and gloom"/cynical mindset among some people?

"Do my parents love me?"
"You're making people to risk their jobs"
"Wait 8 years"
"There could be a medical emergency"

Lol

OP posts:

Tinamou · 05/07/2020 12:45

We're also thinking about a safari holiday for next year, but with the DC (youngest will be nearly 12 by then). I am so excited about sharing the experience with them! I can imagine that feels a long way away when your DS is only 2, but the years zoom past surprisingly quickly!

OverTheRainbow88 · 05/07/2020 12:46

I would say go for it!

My parents did a 2 week summer holiday every year Without us and we stayed with our aunties and uncles ! We had the best time ever and were spoilt rotten, even now I have the best relationship with all my aunties... and my parents!!

titchy · 05/07/2020 12:55

Nothing wrong with parents going on holiday without children at all as long as the kids are well looked after.

My only hesitation would be if this is likely to be literally a once in a lifetime holiday for you, in which case I couldn't imagine not sharing that with my children given that it would be a very child friendly type of holiday when they're older.

UnicornRainbow83 · 05/07/2020 12:59

Personally I wouldn't, I wouldn't like to be so far away from my kids for a week. But I have watched Sil Dc many times over the years to let her to go on holiday. The longest was for 10 days, kids always had a great time and never got upset about missing their mum.

Fleamaker123 · 05/07/2020 13:00

Depends on your child... A week will feel a really long time to him.
Personally I wouldn't want to be so far away from my child, with the risk of catching the virus... What if you both fall ill with it. And that's not doom and gloom, it's a real possibility.
I would wait and go in the future whenever the pandemic is over.

TARSCOUT · 05/07/2020 13:07

*Thanks for all the advice! I've noticed it on other threads but is there always "doom and gloom"/cynical mindset among some people?

"Do my parents love me?"
"You're making people to risk their jobs"
"Wait 8 years"
"There could be a medical emergency"

Lol*
Why bother asking then if you don't have any doubt?

OrigamiParrot · 05/07/2020 13:41

OP, do you just want people to tell you to go?

Go and enjoy it, it’ll be fine.

mindutopia · 05/07/2020 13:45

If you can afford it and you have a trusting person(s) who he knows well who he can stay with, that sounds great. We don't have anyone who could look after our dc if we went away, but I got away on holiday by myself (leave dh and dc at home - sometimes I do take eldest dc) at least once, sometimes twice a year. If we had help from anyone, we would definitely go away together. I would recommend starting with a night or a weekend or four days away first, just to see how you feel and also how the person who will be caring for him copes.

Sasaz · 05/07/2020 13:48

Go for it. You can have experiences that don’t involve your child. As long as they are safe all is good!

Heyhih3 · 05/07/2020 13:48

It’s difficult a trip like that I would want to take my child at around 3 they would remember. I’ve been travelling since my DS was around 18months long haul. I did travel Without him once I don’t regret it. I think you should do it because sometimes you don’t get round to doing vacations for what ever reasons.

TheMotherofAllDilemmas · 05/07/2020 13:49

DS had been in 12 countries before his third birthday, I really do not think that his travel experience would have prepared him to stay a week without me.

What I would say is that if your child is used to spend full days alone with the grandparents and stay overnight it will be fine. If he is not, you may to do what most of us parents do and hold until your child is ready to come with you or familiar enough with relatives to leave behind.

NerrSnerr · 05/07/2020 13:56

I personally wouldn't do this but only because we have limited annual leave and I would rather spend most of my time off with my child/ children. We don't have anyone who'd have our children for a week anyway so is irrelevant!

If you feel you have enough time off work to spend as much time as you want with your child, can afford and have people you trust to care for him then it's fine.

PheasantPlucker1 · 05/07/2020 14:00

I did. It was half work/ half pleasure but I travelled a lot when my eldest dc were little, and they loved staying with grandparents.

Ive asked them how they felt about it now theyre teens and they never cared where I went, just loved getting spoilt!

Id say go for it. Youre not depriving your ds of anything, he can go with you when hes older and will enjoy it.

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