Holiday next year without son?

[Pantana90]

Our family holiday to America (myself, partner and our son aged 2) this summer has been cancelled due to the pandemic. We are thankfully able to get our money back.

For years we have dreamed about going on safari in Africa and would like to do it early next year, but we wouldn't be able to bring our son because he's too young/he simply wouldn't appreciate it at that age. Coronavirus permitting, we'd be gone for 8 nights - week-long trip and one day travel time.

Does that make us bad parents? We want to add to our family next year and that'd make a safari holiday even harder, so we feel early next year is a great opportunity to hopefully do it. Our son would be staying 4 nights each at his aunt's and grandparents, who he loves. So, if the chance arises, should we go or are we being selfish?

He'll be fine and it's not wrong to want a holiday alone. However, don't underestimate how much you'll miss him. You may spend a lot of money on a holiday you just don't enjoy when it comes down to it.

There could be a medical emergency"

Lol

No! Not LOL! You know there actually could be a medical emergency, right? And the nature of the term emergency means you can’t plan for it. And yes, it’s unlikely, but it does happen and more frequently than you think and you might be laughing a lot less when you’re on your fabulous safari and your 3 year old is on the operating table and you’re nowhere near.

I’ve been on holiday without my children, abroad (well, for the weekend!). I’m not saying you need to martyr yourself. But you’re a parent and a grownup so less of the lol’s and more of thinking it through might not go amiss.

I wouldn’t take a 2year old with me , and I wouldn’t have left mine at home. But I think there are plenty people who would ,
but Im a worrier so I wouldn't have been able to relax and enjoy my holiday properly. It’s a personal thing.
What would worry me about early next year is that you could get stuck somewhere due to coronavirus. Also if you travel are you then going to quarantine for 2 weeks on return, or risk passing something on to the family .

I think deep down you know it’s selfish, hence why you asked MN if it is... Do you really need the validation of strangers online to help justify your life choices or alleviate your conscience? If so then probably don’t go.. you might just find yourself spending a week filled with guilt.

I don’t get why people have kids if they just plan to continue their pre-child life whenever they possibly can. A weekend, fair enough but thousands of miles for a week? Your 2 year old will just not understand why both Mummy and Daddy disappeared out the door for 7 days.
If it was an emergency fair enough but a jolly? Sorry but I think it’s poor form personally.

@YouAreTheEggManIAmTheWalrus

I think deep down you know it’s selfish, hence why you asked MN if it is... Do you really need the validation of strangers online to help justify your life choices or alleviate your conscience? If so then probably don’t go.. you might just find yourself spending a week filled with guilt.

I don’t get why people have kids if they just plan to continue their pre-child life whenever they possibly can. A weekend, fair enough but thousands of miles for a week? Your 2 year old will just not understand why both Mummy and Daddy disappeared out the door for 7 days.
If it was an emergency fair enough but a jolly? Sorry but I think it’s poor form personally.

If you posted a thread on this thing entitled "I am going to the supermarket and leaving my child with his grandad"... I swear you'd get posts replying "oh, I don't know if I'd do that. Granddads have brittle bones and may not have the strength to hold ds. That's very dangerous"

Or "you could get into a crash on the way to the supermarket. Go at YOUR OWN RISK."

point is, and I've seen it on countlessly other threads, this place is infested with negativity and worst-case-scenario

Leaving your child for a week to go on holiday to Africa on safari is totally different to leaving them to pop to the supermarket!

@Fleamaker123

Leaving your child for a week to go on holiday to Africa on safari is totally different to leaving them to pop to the supermarket!

Of course it is, but that's not the point. It's that whatever the subject, people will twist it to a scenario where the world practically ends

Well yes they will, I agree.
However there are significantly more risks travelling to another continent, possibly while still in a pandemic. That's not ridiculous, doom or gloom, or over the top. It's fact!
But everyone's different, if you don't feel worried then obviously go for it.

I wouldn’t have left mine at 2 for that long. Is your DC used to being left for long ish periods of time? I wouldn’t like the first trial to be a trip to Africa in case they wouldn’t settle without me.

I would also be worried about lockdowns and being stuck in a foreign country and unable to get home.

Pantana why start a thread then really? if you think the place is infested with negativtiy and you were just going to get defensive.

FWIW I think if the child will be well looked after with people he loves go for it.

Fact is, everyone has their own 'thing' For you it might be traveling to amazing places. For me too actually. I need travel and something to look forward to. If your ds is used to be with family members for overnights or whatever go for it. Make sure you trust their judgement in case there is a medical emergency (uunlikely though it may be) and rock on. Itd be a great trip .

We are still in the middle of a pandemic and all African countries have cases. Yet you think now is a good time to plan a safari away from your child?

Of course he will be fine whatever happens. Medical emergency or not.
But I was the child in this scenario (medical emergency, parents abroad couldn’t get immediately flights back) and I was much older and it was still awful, lonely and depressing.

@AdriannaP

We are still in the middle of a pandemic and all African countries have cases. Yet you think now is a good time to plan a safari away from your child?

Of course he will be fine whatever happens. Medical emergency or not.
But I was the child in this scenario (medical emergency, parents abroad couldn’t get immediately flights back) and I was much older and it was still awful, lonely and depressing.

You're totally right, and I should emphasise that it's very much only an "idea" atm. If, next year, the world is still in the same state it is now with Covid, we wouldn't even consider it.

I think it's fine for ds.

However, depending on where you are going I would be hesitant to book anything for a while. South africa, for example, is only at start of crisis and had had huge socio economic impacts.

I would also say that taking him would be possible if you wanted to, but no reason to if you are happy to leave him at home.

I think it's fine. My parents left me to go on holidays every few years when I was young. Never did I question if my parents still loved me! .

My sister used to leave her kids with me when they were young. We had a great time together.

I would leave mine too if I lived in the same country as my family.

We went to africa when DS was 18 months for a week because it’s the type of holiday that’s not safe for them until they’re well into their teens. Best decision ever - we loved it, and now we’ve got dc2 it’s not a possibility as too much to ask grandparents to take 2 for a week so we took the chance. He had an amazing week, though had been used to sleepovers with them before. It was so amazing for me and my husband - if you have the support do it now!!

Of course it is, but that's not the point. It's that whatever the subject, people will twist it to a scenario where the world practically ends

So why ask then? I think you just wanted everyone to tell you it was fine and now are a bit disconcerted that there are a whole lot of people telling you they wouldn’t do it.

And yes, it is so different travelling to another continent for a safari for 8 days vs popping to the supermarket for an hour that I cannot believe you even tried to make the comparison.

You’re very sure everyone who disagrees with is wrong and a hysterical doom monger. You came here asking people to give you their attention and time so your responses are rude.

I wouldn’t do it. I like spending time with my daughter. I wouldn’t enjoy a week without her. But you knock yourself out. Asking for opinions then getting snippy when you get them is childish. Maybe Mumsnet isn’t for you. Try netmums for a “u do u hon, ur bubz ur rulez” response.

@AdriannaP

We are still in the middle of a pandemic and all African countries have cases. Yet you think now is a good time to plan a safari away from your child?

Of course he will be fine whatever happens. Medical emergency or not.
But I was the child in this scenario (medical emergency, parents abroad couldn’t get immediately flights back) and I was much older and it was still awful, lonely and depressing.

African cases are no where like here. Nothing of the sort and never have been. I have a friend that’s in West Africa at the moment and we have been keeping touch. She also has family in other parts of Africa. You can’t live life like that. An emergency could happen anytime. Parents are allowed to travel without their kids.

If I were in your shoes, I'd jump and do it. What a wonderful chance for you and your DH to reconnect before possibly expanding your family. And as for your DC, what a chance for them to have an adventure and learn to trust other care givers. My Mum did this when I was 6, it was an abroad wedding so she went with her friends.. I had the best time with my Gran, I still remember it now. You will always get people saying it's selfish, but I say do it.

My parents used to go abroad for a week every summer without my sister and I, and we’d stay with our grandparents. We’d get spoilt rotten, play on the beach every day (they lived in a coastal village) and have a whale of a time.

Parents would also take us to Center Parks/Cornwall/Dorset for a week each year too, so I guess it wasn’t an either/or situation.

Once we were all (there were four of us in the end) old enough to be safe in a kids pool and eat sensibly at restaurants we started having family holidays abroad.

I hate to trot out the ‘didn’t do us any harm’ line, but it actually didn’t. I have fond memories of weeks spent at Heysham village beach and cake shop!

(This was in the late 80s/early 90s btw, so not ‘in the old days’!)

@Pantana90 my partner and I are going on an African safari in Jan next year (well, we hope to, but we will see of course).

Our DS is 2 and staying at his grandparents. I know so many people will disagree, but it's a holiday we can't do with him and I'm really looking forward to doing something just for me and DH! It's not something we make a habit of, and we're also planning a subsequent trip with our DS. But honestly I don't see a problem with it.

So obviously my opinion is absolutely go for it!! You'll have a great time!