Sick of being tired every day... Will I ever be able to count on a good night's sleep again?

[Indecisivelurcher]

Just here for a moan really! Dd is 5.5, ds is 3. They do both sleep through every few days but rarely on the same nights! We've had a bad run this week. Last night ds was up twice just a bit disturbed and Dd was up once for a wee, which I won't begrudge as she's the worse sleeper of the two, I was just pleased she went back to sleep after! She was up from 3am Sunday night and didn't back to sleep at all. I'm just sick of feeling body tired every day. My head is banging.

Moan away. 19mo DS has never slept well. DP and I take turns going back to bed for 2hr catch ups when we can!

Hope things improve for you soon.

If anyone has news on exactly how soon the miracle occurs 🤔😉📰

Moan away. Sleep depravation has been used as a form of torture. 💐

Mine are 6, 4 and 1. My 6 year old started sleeping through at 3.5, my 4 year old at 1.5ish so we had a small period of time before DC3 was born when they both consistently slept.
Then we had another. 17 month old has just inconsistently started sleeping through. Last night he slept 7-6, but 6 year old didn’t go to sleep until 9 and 4 year old had a bad dream at midnight and got up for a wee at 5.
Let’s just say I feel your pain.

The more children you have the less chance of sleep... I'm stopping at 2!!!

I have 3. They all slept through by approx 10 months except for being ill or the odd nightmare. They were having lie ins till 9am by the age of 7 or 8. Now they are teens they sleep till the afternoon!! 😀

I feel your pain, 16 month old DS has been a shit sleeper since he was about 4 months old, I can count the amount of times he's slept through the night on one hand 😭 had several nights this week where I've had about 4 hours sleep. Apparently both me and DH were crap sleepers so it's no surprise really!

@CheshireCats that's how I thought it was supposed to go down! Dd didn't get the memo... Tbf she did sleep through from 7m but then stopped sleeping at age 4.

@Indecisivelurcher fingers crossed for you that she reads the memo soon! 😊

Oh no, dd is 18 months, has always been a terrible sleeper, I was hoping it would be better before she's 5
Totally with you OP. I can't seem to get anything done because I'm always tiered so any chance I just sit and watch tv rather than get on with stuff, I'm putting on weight and just generally feeling crap due to the lack of sleep!

@merrz oh I'm sure my Dd is a minority! They have me the gift of both sleeping through last night, and dh got up with them. I'm like a new woman (temporarily)...

My eldest was terrible until age 6.5 and then became a lot better but now takes ages to go to sleep.. 😬😬 but at least we can leave her to it most of the time

My two didn’t sleep for 3 years. They suddenly both started sleeping through March time this year and with lockdown they have been sleeping until 7. I never realised how tired I was for those 3 years, I feel so different! I fell asleep on the sofa every night for 3 years and now we have an evening again!
I’m really jealous of people who had children who slept, the whole parenting experience must’ve been so different for them.

My four didn’t sleep through until they went full time at school. I remember being a zombie surviving on very little sleep for years. I got my revenge when they were teenagers as I would hoover the landing outside their bedrooms at 8am on a Saturday morning.

Reassuring to hear others in the late to sleep thru club. Interesting @PanamaPattie my Dd started sleeping through more reliably while she was at school. Lockdown has caused things to go backwards.

Mine are awful (DS1 was spectacular and at 7 still needs less sleep than ever seems right). DS2 (4) wakes on average once a night. DS1 stopped when he started school. It’s rubbish. But I imagine poor eaters would be equally rubbish...

DS2 is 22m and has never slept more than 5 hours on a rare occasion

I just got a FB memory today of when DS1 first slept through the night, and that was nine years ago! He's ten years older than DS2 so we have another year of this and DH's comment on that post was about how it didn't last FFS

I am currently trying to decide if I need a vitamin supplement or I'm just bloody knackered.

DS1 eats terribly, it is absolutely nothing like having to get up in the night or be kicked in your bed for hours.

At least if you'd had enough sleep you'd be able to think about how to tackle fussy eating :D

Have you got a gro clock? If not, I'd try this as a start !
My two older girls have just turned 6 & 4 and they have had gro clocks since being 2yo. They know not to wake or make noise before the sun comes up and instead roll over and go back to sleep. They have slept a solid 12 hours ever since, bar the rare wake up for a wee or being poorly. But those are very few and far between, probably once or twice every 6 months. My 21 month old adores her bed and also sleeps solidly but doesn't have a gro clock just yet. I think she just sees her sisters hop into bed at 6.45pm so does the same, and then hears them stirring at 7/7.30 so gets up then too.
I think either children love sleep or are sleep thieves. It's a bit like some are amazing eaters and some are super fussy.
My eldest two only became consistent from the age of about 2 and my youngest from about 17 months.

@Tash6000 thanks for the thought. Yes they both have gro clocks. They don't get up before their clocks (6:20) but it doesn't prevent night wakings! Do you fancy swapping children for a couple of weeks...

The reason this is just for a moan and not for advice is, I've done everything. Age appropriate sleep training on more than one occasion, black out blind, white noise, gro clock, tried extinction techniques, rewards, my fave which is nighttime pass tokens with playmobil rewards, mindfulness meditations, worked with a professional sleep consultant more than once, worked with preschool /school, early to bed, late to bed, on melatonin tablets prescribed by doctor. I blame genetics, my husband was a bad sleeper as a child, my sister and mum are both up at 3am almost without fail. I've given up fixing it, am instead going down the route of saying its OK to wake up but you don't need to wake mummy / the rest of the house, have equipped Dd with a Cd player so she can put gentle music on and trying to encourage her to just lie there quietly. Unfortunately it was ds who was awake last night, he's the better sleeper of the two but decided to play with his teddy randomly🌃

Ah wow, sounds like you have tried pretty much every trick in the books.
I think going down the route you now are sounds like a good plan. Maybe set their clocks a tad later so you get just 30 minutes more sleep. One day they will be teenagers refusing to get up! In the mean time, lots of coffee and cake! Or gin lol 😜

Mine are 4 and 2. Pretty much every day one of them wakes at 5.30 and the other one sleeps till about 6.30. So both are capable of going till a semi-civilised time but clearly conspire to never do it the same day.

I’m with you OP. Mine are 6 and 3.5.

Last night was particularly rough but most nights are “pleasantly crap” at best. As in, not awful, no tears or desperation, but just not a full night’s sleep. Lunchtime naps are my lifeline.

No suggestions, just solidarity ✊