The Joys of Having Two Boys (Or more)

[SquirrelDrey]

I recently found out baby #2 is another boy and I am sick of the lacklustre or negative responses from people! He will be our last.. no “better luck next time”
So from mums of two boys or more - please tell me about the best bits so I can block the negativity out!

It's brilliant. They want to do the same things - go out on bikes and get muddy, scramble up hills and cliffs, hear the same bedtime stories, watch the same movies, build Lego or dens together, charge around castles dressed as knights and fire bows and arrows together etc.
I found it much easier to raise two boys than friends with boys and girls,. who seemed constantly to be having to negotiate with sulkers because days out were always a compromise.

I've loved having boys. My two are very cuddly (even in late teens) really easy going and lovely to be aorund.

I have two boys and had the same response. People still ask me if I’m going to have another one - they seem to think I must want a girl. I’m 43 and have my body, my sex life and my general life back. No more babies for me thanks!
A girl would have been nice, but...
I know many families with a girl and boy who don’t get on at all. Of course it’s not always the case, but same sex siblings do seem to get on better.
My two get on really well. There’s a big age gap too. My eldest has just turned 10 and my youngest is 5.5. They play together a lot. The oldest one is very kind to the younger one (yes, he does tease him a bit sometimes, he’s not perfect). The younger one looks up to the older one.
Maybe some of the negativity comes from sexist ideas about what boys are like? My two are quite similar in personality and interests. They’re both lively and active, and nice, friendly boys. They’re well behaved at school. My eldest is very kind and gentle, sensitive and thoughtful at the same time as fitting in well with his peers and being popular, fun and active. He’s very affectionate. The youngest - well, we’ll see. He’s a bit young too judge what he’ll be like, but he seems to be developing well.
Also, you’ll get to reuse clothes - that saved us lots of money.
I love having two boys.
Another thing is, that they will, of course, have completely different personalities. You will have a different relationship with each one.

I have 2 boys and they are just delightful. 16 and 20 now and such good company.

Really good pals, sensitive, kind, thoughtful, funny.

They played well together as children and have never been any trouble really.

I have four children - three boys, and they are FAB. They are so much fun, so affectionate, so funny and as they have got older, I haven't had all of the RIDICULOUS amount of drama that comes with teenage girls.... ( I adore my daughter, and she does have her head screwed on, but the cliques, the strops, the teenage girl woes amongst her friendship groups, are exhausting - my boys have none of that and are constantly amused by the shenanigans.)

I am working hard on making sure that they all know how to cook, clean, wash clothes, and they have a good role model in their father who does a huge amount around the house, despite me having been a SAHM for the past 10 years.

Sorry I dont have two boys I only have one child but he is a boy and my god he is such a joy. I'd be so happy if we got another boy. Although it took a long time to get my head around a baby having a erm hard you know what at such a young age when he was weeing. Girls are murder. My niece is a bugger x

I'm jealous. I really wanted 2 boys. I have one of each. When my daughter was born I got so many comments about how pleased I must be to have a boy and girl. One woman even told me I was clever to have one of each 🤷🏼‍♀️

No one ever believed me when I said that I'd wanted two boys

It's great! My two are best friends and in a pandemic it's fab that they can keep each other company.

@Twizbe - I had that because my first two were Boy then Girl - "Oh, clever you, a pigeon pair'.....WTAF? Do people really think that you can choose the sex just like that?! People were really odd about it, including my childminder, who had had 3 boys and told me she had been desperate for a girl, said "Oh, you bitch" when I told her I'd had a girl, and not in a jokey way....... funnily enough, I didn't use her as my CM for the two children after that...!

It's amazing. Honestly they are so affectionate and lots of fun (as all children are). Easy to handle as you can get around them. Mine run to me in the morning to hug me. Draw love hearts for me and pick flowers in the garden (weeds) for my vase. They are great. Also they tend to get invited to things as a pair so there is no road running as I hear friends do.

8 boys here!!
Amazing!! Less stressful than the 2 teen dd's...

I'm mum to two boys. I don't really know any different really. Mine are close in age, so they play together and have a lot of similar interests etc. They are kind and sensitive even though the world probably just sees them as boisterous and loud. They are a lot of fun and they drive me to insanity but I don't think it would be any different if they were girls.

As someone who has never really considered myself to fall into female stereotypes and who struggled in my teens a lot as a result, I am quite relieved there are some things I don't have to navigate with a daughter. Mainly the teenage years. My relationship with my own mum is clunky and awkward, we don't 'talk about things' and I was always afraid I'd have the same terrible relationship with my own daughter. Alas, it isn't to be.

I don't know why people object to boys so much. Is it because they cannot be as easily dressed up as little dolls?

I also have 2 boys and have had a lot if negativity about it, people acting like it's a 2nd best kind of family, boys are consolation prizes etc..

Mine have very different personalities. One (8yo) is pretty geeky and bookish, though also chatty and creative. The other (5yo) is very physical and outdoorsy, and a bit shyer. They're both stubborn AF though .

They are very loving, and drama-free besides the odd strop lasting a few minutes. They are funny too and generally enjoyable to be around.

They share a room, we pass clothes down, they like similar toys (Lego especially), and play together well.

I don't have a brother and tbh never imagined myself having a boy, let alone only boys! But I am just as close to them as I would be a girl, and I think for me personally the mother/son relationship is easier to navigate than a mother/daughter one would be (once into teens & beyond), though who knows!

8 boys @Windyatthebeach , I salute you

I've got 2 boys, both lovely and very different to each other. Now aged 11 and 16 and the younger one absolutely idolises his big brother, which is lovely in one sense but sad in another as he's grown up very quickly as he wants to be just like him ( in fashion etc)

I always wanted a girl, sadly lost two babies to MMC in 2011/12 which was hard as I was holding out for a one of them being a girl. Fortunately I have two lovely nieces who are more than happy to be spoilt with shopping trips and lunch with their favourite auntie...

I'm not going to say mine play together. They are like chalk and cheese and my eldest detests my youngest with a passion. This hasn't changed in a decade.
However, I don't see why that would be any different with boys or girls. Sometimes siblings get on, sometimes they don't. I'm not in the least bit bothered that I never had a girl. There's nothing I can't do with my youngest that I couldnt' do with a girl (My eldest won't do anything with me!!)

I have two boys - and love it. Both very different, both great (4 years age difference, but love each other).
I found the best answer to others coming up with the “what a shame” comments is to just ask “why?” in a very confused voice, and “so why can’t boys do that?” or “So girls are only good for shopping and being pretty?” if somebody is particularly annoying.

I think the problem with posing a question like this is that its already separating them, and encourages responses that border on boys are better than girls.

I have two boys, and they are fab. But no doubt I would say the same if I had two girls. Or a boy and a girl.

I genuinely think people get hung up on this because finding out their sex is one of the first kind of physical facts you can find out about your baby. And so it's all they can comment on to you. But by the time they're born, or 1 or 2 and start developing a proper little personality it's no longer aboit if you got a boy or a girl - but that you had that specific wonderful kid!

Thank you for all your wonderful replies! Really really appreciate it!

My mum died in the early stages of this pregnancy so I’ve had lots of people mention that it would be wonderful to have a little girl in sort of tribute to her so with this baby being a boy I feel as if I’ve disappointed a few people. Totally irrational I know but want to get that thought out my head and focus on all the positives you have all mentioned!

I've been exactly where you are OP, I even started a thread on here when I was expecting DS2.

I felt everything you are feeling right now. Mine are 3 and 1 now and I LOVE having two boys. I am ashamed to say that it has taken me some time to get here - I hate admitting that because both boys are fabulous, but it's true I'm afraid. I have always loved them immeasurably, but I think it has taken this time to allow my confidence in what I have to grow, and to then overshadow any negativity I receive from other people. I know I shouldn't take any notice of what others say, but it's easier said than done and I think it's good to be honest when others are asking for advice.

Boys are wonderful. My eldest is a little explorer and this morning we had a great walk in the woods where we discovered a cave, sat in a tree shelter someone had made out of branches and splashed in all of the puddles. He is so affectionate and loves his mummy, much more so than any of my friends similar aged girls. He is easy going, doesn't tantrum much and is so friendly to others. He loves dinosaurs, getting dirty and running about - he's a stereotypical boy and I love it. I was always worried that I wouldn't have much in common with my sons, but guess what, because he loves dinosaurs, I love dinosaurs too now. I think you find an interest in whatever your children are passionate about, even if you thought you'd never be interested in anything like that before.

The youngest is really finding his feet now and has so much personality. I definitely felt less of a bond with him to start with - maybe it was just having two so close together and not having the same amount of time to spend with him, plus he was a much more difficult baby - however I don't feel like that anymore. He is really into his food and as the eldest has always been super fussy, that's sort of become his 'thing'. I love just sitting with him at the table and exploring lots of new foods. I'm so excited to find out what his passion turns out to be, maybe it will be dinosaurs like his brother, maybe trains, dolls, drawing, tractors - who knows!

Honestly, don't feel bad. The amount of crap I got from other women about having two boys was unbelievable. I wonder if men are the same when their male friends have only girls. It's less as they've got older. We're not sure whether we'll have any more children, but we won't be 'trying for a girl'. That said, of course girls are lovely too and there is no reason to think that girls can't get muddy and love dinosaurs either, or that it's not nice to like ballet and pink.

You will be fine OP. I'm also thinking the teenage years might be kinder - probably smellier, but less hormonal stuff!

Just seen your update about your mum, so sorry

And I’m absolutely not trying to get people to say boys are better than girls but focus on the positive of single sex boy sibling families. As if you google “mother of just boys” type thing you get all sorts of people saying they feel bereft without a girl or they kept going until they got a girl and now they feel complete, which I have not found helpful!

@SquirrelDrey would be wonderful to have a little girl in sort of tribute to her to be honest, in that situation a boy is great. What a challenge t9 grow up with otherwise, always being seen as a mini me of a deceased, amazing person. A boys will be a tribute to her, like all grandchildren, but will be free of specific expectations

My sister had 5 boys.
She has a brilliant relationship with all of them, now they have grown up.
When they were younger all 5 of them were wild.
A visit to her house was like entering a war zone she always looked like she was in a trance as they ran around wild🤣🤣🤣

I have 2 boys, and I'm expecting again and I have a strong feeling it will be a boy. I'm happy with my boys, they are great. I wouldn't say they are extremely close because they will all have a bug age gap 5 years between the first and second and 7 years between the second and third. Since I told people I'm pregnant again, everyone has said, oh maybe you'll get a girl this time. I keep telling people I don't really care either way, I'll be quite happy with another boy. Infact, it would make things much easier because 2 might have to share a room.

I don't think sex plays much part in their character. I have 2 boys and a girl, we've just been out to climb trees and collect sticks for poo sticks. Each of my 3 DC is quirky and individual and brilliant.

OP your family will be brilliant because it's your family.

So sorry to hear about your mother Squirrel - that's really tough.