Toddler cuddles strangers

[Inch5h3l]

Hi! I went to the park today & my nearly 3 yo went up to a man there with a toddler the same age & hugged his legs! Previously he also sat in the lap of a random man at soft play. Is this normal?? He often says hi to strangers & doesn't seem scared of them.

Why would you let him just randomly sit on a stranger's lap...why arent you keeping a better eye on him...

Oh yes my son is a big hugger (he still is at 16). He's very friendly and says hi to everyone, happy to strike up a conversation with anyone (even quite dubious characters). He would definitely be the kid touching everything and getting up close and personal. I think it's a lovely trait, and as he has gotten older he has realised not everyone wants a cuddle! Funnily enough I have a dog exactly the same - thinks every one wants a big kiss on the nose....

No, it isn't normal, because we're in the middle of a pandemic and we're meant to be keeping away from strangers so if thry can't be trusted to not wander off because they're 3, you keep your hand on them.

Outside of nwo, saying hello is fine but you're likely to get a negative reaction from people if your child goes and sits on men in particular because they'll be so worried you'll accuse them of doing something wrong.

There isn't anything peculiar about your child, he's 3 and has no boundaries.

Whether or not it is normal, you need to find a way to stop it.

You cannot tell who might be exceptionally vulnerable just by looking, and it is wrong to invade people's space.

If your DC cannot be relied on to keep a distance (and of course many can't), then you will need to find ways to ensure you keep him away. Or gomat a much quieter time (fewer people, but greater need to be diligent as that is when the exceptionally vulnerable might choose to go out for their daily exercise)

This is my son, he's almost two loves to hold anyone's hand other than mine. He's a proper social distance terror, he runs up to anyone and tries to hold there hands.

I obviously do go and get him and tell him no but he likes people.

My son went through the same phase when he was a similar age.

For example, I took him for his first dentist appointment and he walked into the room and hugged the dentist!

He also would hug the other dads when we were at soft play.

He grew out of it soon enough, but even now, if we're walking down the street, he'll wave and say 'hello' to random men - especially if they're workmen.

He's a complete daddy's boy and adores his father, so I think it's just to do with that.

You have to stop him from doing it, especially right now. I have a very sociable just turned 3 year old who likes to ask people if they're going to the work or the shop. When we see anyone when we're out walking I hold on to his hand tight or pick him up so he can't go near them.

It's really not fair to force others not to social distance because you're not controlling your child.

It's not unusual to be unafraid of strangers and hug them but (pandemic aside) you need to teach him to ask because a lot of his peers won't like it and would physically push him away or similar.

Thank you to those with helpful replies of your own experience, good to know it's not just him!

Yes my daughter was the same ! Well more climbing/playing/over familiar with other dads at the play area and parents of her friends. She grew out of it thankfully :)

@Nix2020

This is my son, he's almost two loves to hold anyone's hand other than mine. He's a proper social distance terror, he runs up to anyone and tries to hold there hands.

I obviously do go and get him and tell him no but he likes people.

Why aren't you holding your 1 year olds hand so he can't run up to people? I'm front of a car?

*in front of a car. Into the mouth of a dog

my daughter is the same (almost 2) she doesnt touch adult strangers but always trying to hig other children and she says hello to everyone we pass. I know it's an unpopular opinion on here but you cant get kids to socially distance and I dont stop her from saying with other children. The risk to children is so small it's not worth the tears and tantrums. (not with strangers just friends children before the mumsnet police come and get me)

@SleepingStandingUp we were in a pedestrian area where it was safe for him to get out the pram and have a wee run around. There were no cars and dogs around or many people.

Children are allowed to have fun and a little bit of freedom.

It sounds like "disinhibited attachment" - indiscriminate attachment behaviours shown to any adult. It is not "normal" and is most often seen as a symptom of early neglect.

How I love Mumsnet. When my children were young, decades ago, this would have been seen as a good personality trait. A child that didn't cling to his parent and was happy to go with anyone was seen as a good thing. Now it's a potential sign of neglect! Unbelievable!

As long as you can impress on him the concept of 'stranger danger' so he isn't inclined to go off with someone sinister, then it's quite sweet - as long as the people are ok about him invading their personal space.

Some disgusting comments here, I hope the lady who posted the initial question wasn’t to harsh on her son based on horrible judgemental comments.
-accusing someone of neglect
-comments on why a parent had let go of their child’s hand, questioning their parenting style etc
Absolutely horrible and not sure if I’ve made the right decision making an account.

my son is very loved, he is given a lot fo attention by family and he loves to say hi to kids and hug them. He’s nearly 3, he doesn’t understand that not everyone is comfortable with hugging. Im
confident he will grow out of it.
some parents are completely okay with it and some are not. I will teach him about personal space when his brain is able to comprehend it.
luckily we have paediatric doctors and a psychiatrist in our family - we can refer our worries too- I forwarded the comment about neglect and everyone was shocked- a google search led you to that and thought it would be a good idea to tell the mum her child is not normal.

so many parents turn a blind eye when their child is behaving aggressively but are quick to jump when your child does anything other than worship there’s.

All the pandemic comments - you shouldn’t really be outside without mask etc if you are vulnerable so much so that a child can’t touch you.

finally I realise this post is very old but could not ignore the nasty comments.

My son was around two and he held the hand of this random woman all the way back on a walk! It was about two hundred yards! I didn't know what to do. She was thrilled 😀

indiscriminate attachment behaviours
^

Crikey, that armchair comfy much or what?

so cute, glad it was received well. Honestly don’t think kids that are welcoming and affectionate are the issue. especially that young.
I think parents who’s children are freaked out by any act of kindness but ready for a fight should worry a little about there’s or maybe they like them
that way. Little clones of them

Wish i was in that era because I can’t Stand this one.

My 16-months old DD hugged some lady while we were waiting at our pediatric clinic. She was running around giggling, I was running after her and she just threw herself at this lady sitting on the sofa. I didn't have enough time to react to stop her, but lady was all smiles and gladly hugged DD back.
I didn't think much of it, DD and other kids get lots of cuddles at the nursery so I thought that's why she gladly hugged a stranger.
I was also hugged once by some toddler, he just ran up to me, hugged my legs and refused to go away. His mom was trying to take him away and his granny complained he had never hugged her like this. I didn't think anything bad of it of course, just a cute toddler doing his toddler thing. I'm shocked somebody would link it to neglect!

Is this your child