Five week old not interested in toys

[newmum234]

My 5 week old is still in the relentless change, feed, burp, cuddle, nap and repeat phase. I’m wondering if there’s anything else I should be doing to aid his development in between all this? He has a bouncy chair, playmat, black and white book and a cuddly toy that rattles, but seems completely disinterested in all of them. When can I expect him to start engaging and wanting to play?

Also, he’s on 7 formula feeds a day at the moment and feeds every 3-4 hours. When can I expect the number of feeds to reduce and when’s the earliest a baby will sleep through the night?

Thanks in advance.

@newmum234 you are the expert on your baby and every child is very different. Please be assured you are doing the best job but all he really needs is you at the moment. That can be overwhelming and suffocating at times too. I definitely felt motherhood didn’t come that easily to me (I’m not saying this is your experience) but you are absolutely doing a great job.

Take a step back, chill... keep hings calm and low key.

get all the cuddles you can.

He'll be happy as Larry staring at your face, the window and his own fingers _

Babies should be fed on demand, so if he's happy and putting n weight - then you're fine!

OP I would suggest looking at the wonder weeks app/website as it gives you an idea of when the main developmental changes are likely to happen and things to do with your LO at each stage. I think it is around 12 weeks they start to discover their hands and realise they can bat at things to make them move. Before that things like tugging at your hair is likely just to be a reflex rather than a voluntary action.

Read up on the 4th trimester. Until 12 weeks your LO does not realise they are even a seperate person and need lots of hugs, closeness and getting used to your voice through singing and talking. Don't worry about putting him down for a bit though to get a break, it will do him zero harm. Looking back at photos my LO was in a bouncy chair and on his gym mat for short periods at that age.

He is 5 weeks!

Aww op don't be too harsh on yourself and as difficult as it is try not to worry, parenting isn't something that we instinctivly know how to do, it's learning as you go along with a big dose of trial and error because every child is different. The fact that you took the time to come here and ask questions about aspects of parenting your unsure about and that you take responses on board (although i hope your not letting the harsh ones get to you too much) shows your are doing a good job so far.

Talk to your health visitor about any worries/fears/emotions etc - mums need to look after themselves too so they can give baby the best care. They have heard it all, they wont judge you but what they will do is help you to deal with them so you can be the mum that your baby needs.
So just enjoy baby time with less full on interations for now and instead lots of eye contact, skin to skin, baby massage, soothing talking - i used to commentate everything I was doing such as housework. Slings are great so you can do other things such as hanging laundry a bit og light hoovering. other times I just share my thoughts, feelings, my plans, my dreams, my observations (such as isnt daddy silly, he left his socks on the bedroom floor again) sing songs (not just lullabyes or nursery ryhmes but some of my own favourite songs), recite my favourite poems, passages from books - the list goes on. Your baby will never get tired of hearing your voice, and that look of sheer awe/love as they gaze at you as only a newborn can - nothing in the world compares to it.

Hi OP,

Becoming a Mum for the first time is very overwhelming. If only babies came with a manual! I remember finding the first few weeks very intense. Newborns are demanding. Many days I struggled to find time to eat or even go to the loo, because my daughter hated being out of my arms for any length of time. It’s worth noting that at 5 weeks old your little one can only see 8-12 inches in front of them and so they will feel happiest when they are near you and can smell you.

@VoluptuaSneezelips has given some great advice about singing and slings. I still sing to my baby all the time - she loves it! It’s also a great way to help them develop vocabulary.

When you are feeling ready, it may be worth checking out some online baby classes. Hoop and Happity list lots of ideas.

My husband and I have found this website really useful. It explains what to expect at each stage of development and it may help to ease some of your worries.

www.whattoexpect.com/first-year/month-by-month/week-5.aspx

I promise you it will get easier.

xx

If no one's already recommended it The Wonder Weeks app is brilliant. It lets you know when a leap occurs, each leap coincides with a fussy period and a new stage of development and lets you know how the world opens up to your baby and the new things they should be able to do.

Obviously all babies develop differently but it's been spot on with my two and the leap weeks are grounded in science. It's great to have a warning of when could be a more difficult time but also what to look forward to following the leap.

@hellorose im sure OP knows how often to feed her baby.

Theres a lot of baby police around recently, telling people how they think other peoples babies should feeding/sleeping. Its grating me.

I was just like you - worrying that my tiny baby was bored and feeling guilty for not constantly trying to stimulate him. DH would leave him him in his bouncy chair and put football on TV - I was outraged that he could ignore our child!

Then I adjusted to motherhood and realised that life with a tiny baby is a bit boring and relentless, so I took to going on very long walks with the pram/sling and lots of cuddles on the sofa watching box sets.

Now I have a child that needs constant entertainment, I long for those days! Enjoy it while you can!

You said "When I lay him on his tummy on my chest he will lift his head up and back and turn it from one direction to the other."

That's great, exactly what he's supposed to do.

It's tough because you feel so responsible for every little thing- but rest easy, he really will show and tell you what he needs. Your job is to settle in and pay attention. This is when the two of you learn how to read each other.

When he cries his heart rate goes up and he breathes a bit faster. You get a little bit stressed so your heart and breathing rate increase too. Then you pick him up, sing, rock, pat, rub etc and you both relax together. If he's hungry or uncomfortable you sort him out and then you both relax together.
It's a cycle that trains him in letting go of stress and teaches him you'll keep him safe.

Nipping to the loo isn't going to undo all that lovely learning, that's fine!

Don't feel you need to actively teach or entertain him. He'll just enjoy being with you. It all comes automatically from making him your focus, you learn from each other.