Five week old not interested in toys

[newmum234]

My 5 week old is still in the relentless change, feed, burp, cuddle, nap and repeat phase. I’m wondering if there’s anything else I should be doing to aid his development in between all this? He has a bouncy chair, playmat, black and white book and a cuddly toy that rattles, but seems completely disinterested in all of them. When can I expect him to start engaging and wanting to play?

Also, he’s on 7 formula feeds a day at the moment and feeds every 3-4 hours. When can I expect the number of feeds to reduce and when’s the earliest a baby will sleep through the night?

Thanks in advance.

5 weeks both my DDs couldn't care less about toys.
DD1 slept through from 4 months though.
DD2 is just turning 9 months and still wakes often which I'm expecting to carry on for a long while yet.
All babies develop differently so dont worry too much OP.

I love the idea of a five week old settling down to binge watch Stranger Things

@newmum234

Thanks. At what age roughly can I expect him to start enjoying things like a playmat, bouncy chair and the black and white book?

I put DS on his playmat every day after a few weeks and he had a little tummy time every day. It wasn't until he was around 3 months, I guess, when he started to take more of an interest in what he could see hanging above the mat. At about 5 months he had a jumper which he loved.

Enjoy the baby days! I envy you those constant lovely snuggles!

Maybe 3 months for toys.
Sleeping through - somewhere between about 9 months and 2.5 years in my experience.

Jumperoo, not jumper!

At 5 weeks old they only need fingers and toes to play with, the rest is just junk.

^^ this.

Slow down. Your baby is barely out of the womb. Right now is about cuddles, and sleep, and milk, and everything else will come later.

There is no harm putting your baby in the bounder or playmat, but don't expert them to start playing for a couple of months.

Milk feeds are not likely to decrease (and will increase in quality) until at least 6m. Although some babies 'consolidate' feeds earlier 7 bottles isn't very much so I wouldn't anticipate much reduction. We were at 10 feeds plus for a while, and were still at 4-5 at a year.

Sleeping - it's also very early days. Your baby might sleep through soon, or it might take until they are 3. In all likelihood probably somewhere between 9m - 2 years. Even if your baby does start sleeping through, growth spurts, sleep regressions and teething will throw it out. My 3 year old 'stsrted" sleeping through about half a dozen times and it's only the last one a couple of months ago that stuck.

DS was about 4 months before he really "played" with his toys. He would lie on his play mat before then and be happy enough but he wasn't really playing. He's just over 6 months now and in to everything he can get his wee hands on. They only thing he had an interest in earlier was a feeding necklace he played with while in his sling.

Are you coping OK? You do seem to be wishing your tiny baby's life away. All a 5wo needs is milk and cuddles.

I’m coping but I’m not going to lie, I am finding this phase a bit relentless! And was also worried that I wasn’t doing enough for him in terms of playtime and toys. But it sounds like he’s too young for that stuff anyway.

when you soothe him, you are teaching him how to regulate his own feelings.

I’m not sure I’m doing very well at soothing him. I know you’re not meant to leave a newborn to cry, but when my partner’s not here I do sometimes have to leave him crying while I go to the loo, make a phone call or prepare his bottle. I’m worried he may find that distressing but I’m on my own during the day - what can I do?

know you’re not meant to leave a newborn to cry, but when my partner’s not here I do sometimes have to leave him crying while I go to the loo, make a phone call or prepare his bottle.

You don't need to worry about that lovely x

The thing to remember is that because of humans' big heads and small pelvises, human babies are born underdeveloped compared to other mammals. So actually they only need what they needed in the womb for quite a few months - warmth, comfort, food, and closeness to you.

You're his toy!

Leaving him to get things done will not harm him. You need to go to the loo. You're doing fine. It won't be long, it feels long now but in the grand scheme of things it isn't. Do you have someone you can talk to about how you're feeling?

My DD started sleeping through at 6 years old!!

He can go on his playmat now, maybe under the mirror, but they tend to either cry after a few minutes or fall asleep, but it's good to just keep trying.
Also you can be doing things like tummy time, I didn't put mine on floor to do it at that age but lay them on my chest - I find they don't get stressed if you do that but they're still practicing using their muscles.
DC3, 6 months, still feeds pretty much like clockwork every 3 hours during the day. Sometimes she sleeps a solid 10 plus hours, other times she'll have a feed.

All he really wants at this age is cuddles, being talked to gently (he'll find the sound of your voice very soothing and comforting) and the sight of your face.

I'd add maybe being carried/rocked and sung to. Nursery rhymes I could have sworn I'd long forgotten re-emerged in my memory, and singing was a bit less boring for me than one-sides nattering. Doesn't have to be 'nursery rhymes' as such - i went through a good 'swing low sweet chariot' and 'summertime' phase.

(I've no idea what the neighbours thought...!)

Having a baby/small child - in retrospect the years go quickly but some of the hours seem interminable. But 'this to shall pass' . Best wishes to you and your little one , OP.

Also you can be doing things like tummy time, I didn't put mine on floor to do it at that age but lay them on my chest

When I lay him on his tummy on my chest he will lift his head up and back and turn it from one direction to the other.

Can we swap? 😂 take me back to those days! Keeping my 7MO entertained is hard work 💤

Oddly enough I was talking to DS (now 13 years old) about him being a baby just the other day. I found his first book tucked away on his bookshelf.

When he was that age I bought a Thomas the Tank Engine book. He, of course, wasn't interested in it but I read that book to him with him curled in my arms. Obviously all he was interested in was my voice. But it's getting into the habit.

I used to play with DS's little rattle - I'd rattle it, run it down his tummy and make noises, roll it round the floor in front of him. Again it wasn't actually trying to get him to play, it was more an instinct to play with him.

Every single thing you do is being soaked up by your little sponge. He and you don't know it, you won't be able to tell he's doing it but he is learning. He's feeling his feet, your hands, his nose, your nose and his brain is learning the difference. So read the book, show him pictures in magazines, discuss the news, talk about what colour you want the bathroom or how pretty the flowers are. It's not about him reacting to these things - it's setting a pattern for you reacting to him and building that bond.

Enjoy your baby and relax.

DS by the way, slept through when he started reception (so 4 years old) sorry! It did get easier but he used to wake early - we'd be up most mornings at 4am.

@newmum234 - his moving his head when he on tummy time is good. He's strengthening the neck muscles so he can hold his head up unsupported eventually and getting his head ready for crawling - obviously a bit of a way down the line. He's gradually strengthening his body. So the head goes first, then the shoulders and arms. Then the turso and legs. Eventually around 4 - 6 months ish he'll start rolling over, then he'll have the strength to push into crawling, or half crawl or whatever he decides is the best way to get around. Some children get straight to walking, some like my DS bottom shuffle instead of walk. If you're concerned talk to the HV or GP but don't try to time everything to the baby books. Then hold on to your hat because once he's off, you're up and down all the time!

You do sound worried, and I remember very similar feelings when DS was that age.

If he cries when you put him down (not unusual - mine was like that), have you tried a sling? That way you can go pottering around doing the stuff that needs doing (like feeding yourself, going to the loo) with him cuddled up against you. My sling kept me sane to be honest.

I remember when he finally smiled at 6 weeks - and I spent the day in floods of tears. Then beat myself up 'cos I felt like a really crap mum - he'd smiled for the first time and all I could do was cry! It did get easier. Once he could crawl we really turned a corner and it all became so much fun.

Top tip for bottles (which I only found out after the event!) Suppose you're making up a 100ml feed. Store a set of bottles in the fridge with 30 ml of boiled, cooled water in each. Then pop the kettle on and add boiling water up to the 100ml mark - hey presto, instant water at exactly the right temperature, 70C, to sterilise the milk powder. Then, once it's all shaken up, run the outside of the bottle under the cold tap till you get it down to drinkable temperature (give it a good shake and test by dripping it onto the inside of your wrist to check it's cool enough). None of this faffing with "let the kettle cool for half an hour to get water at 70C" (which requires you to be psychic and know that your baby will get hungry in half an hour's time).

Hey! I remember wondering about toys but 5 weeks is definitely very early the most entertaining thing for them at that age is engaging with you - you’ll naturally see an interest in the wider environment start to develop over time
Regarding sleeping through - my DD is 14 months and still doesn’t, but my friend had a baby who slept through from 8 weeks. Many people say a baby needs milk through the night until at least 9 months. Also 5 weeks they still need a lot of comfort from you, have a look in to the third trimester it helped me a lot when I was knackered from constant night wakings! Congratulations on your new baby

Sorry I mean fourth trimester! Not third

My youngest has just this last fortnight started sleeping through the night. He’s 3 years and 4 months old.

I think me and DS were still binging boxsets at that age make the most of it... there will come a time when he wants you to keep him entertained and he will most definitely let you know!
Also the sleeping through thing - you will be a lot happier if you just let go of that dream for now and accept that tiredness is part of life.