Please help I'm really struggling with 6 month old daughter

[NewbieH7]

Hi this site is very new to me! I really just need some advice and coping methods from mammys who have been here before as I'm really struggling.

I have a 6 month old baby girl who I love with every inch of my heart but I'm struggling to cope with the crying now and having her 24/7. My partner works away so I am alone all the time, it's been 7 weeks now in lockdown, alone with no help and baby.

I've found myself crying on the bathroom floor while she is screaming and I have no idea why. I dont know about teething as can't feel or see tooth. I feel worried to go out the house because she will just be so grumpy wherever she goes, she struggles with strangers now due to the lockdown so when we are out she is overwhelmed by people. I pick her up and she cries, putting her down and she cries I just can't win.
The wonder weeks app says she is going through a leap which will last another 29 days and I don't know how to cope.
She isn't sleeping through so I'm pretty tired too.
Before anyone asks - nothing wrong with her shes just grumpy at the minute.
Its been really lovely weather and sometimes I want to sit in the garden but baby just cries after 5 minutes and I have close neighbours who will hear her crying while they relax in the sun, so feel I need to go inside.
Driving in the car used to help settle her to sleep but since this leap starting that has seemed to go down hill too. I just cant do anything and really struggling daily.
Oh and to add to this I'm also doing a nursing degree.

I feel like she doesn't like me anymore

Please help me x

Oh gosh OP this is so tough.

How is her daytime naps? Are you following any sort of routine?

If not I really reccomend trying one for a few days. My usual routine is
7am awake and feed
9am nap
11am wake and feed
1pm nap
230pm wake and feed
430pm nap
5pm wake and feed
7pm bed time

He's still up approx 3 times from 7-7 overnight.

There's lots of advice on getting them to sleep on here. I sleep trained so he will sleep in his cot after being put down. However naps in pushchairs and bouncy chairs can be done too.

Thank you so much for replying
She is in a good routine..
6-6.30am wake up
8.30am feed
9am nap
11am wake up (attempt feed but never wants it)
Playing till about 2 then had a nap at 2pm
Wakes at about 3
Bath and bed time at 7pm.
She then sleeps till 2am and cries so I give her dummy
Then 4am for feed
Then 5am for reasons I have no clue about but drifts back off
6am wakes up fully and is full of beans.
I dont know what I'm doing wrong, I've started weaning her and shes doing so so well with baby led weaning as well so I'm not sure.
My friends kids are just like your little one and sleep 7-7 with good routine.
I will have a look at sleep training, I think I've actually cracked day naps and bedtime. Its just the wake ups ans grumpiness

Again thank you so much for reply xxx

I seem to have missed a few feeds out of her routine because I dont even know what day it is hahaha. Anyway she has about 4 bottles through the day
9am, 2pm 4pm 6pm

My baby was a difficult one who cried and cried so you have my sympathy. Have you tried a sling? I used to pop mine in one and just walk around the house or round and round my garden which seemed to settle her. Please also give your HV a call for some support as well as they may be able to give some tips over the phone. Hang in there, it is so hard with a baby that cries all the time and when you're alone. You are doing an amazing job as a mum

@Blackberrythief that is so so kind thank you so much.
I do have a sling I might try that tomorrow, my back is already in agony from carrying her and I'm sure that will help a little instead of carrying her around.
Health visitor called me a few days ago for her 2 month check (shes 6 months) it was so rushed I didnt even want to say, maybe I should ring her tomorrow.
I cant believe how much better I'm already feeling hearing that deom you

Sorry, that sounds really tough. One of mine was a crier and non-sleeper and it is so draining. I can’t imagine doing it during lockdown.

It will pass. It will get easier. But for now do what you can to cope. Your mental health is important.

Do you have friends you can call for a chat? Ideally ones with older kids rather than the quiet babies!

I found the sling very helpful. And getting out for a walk. If it all gets to much then please put baby in the pram and get a friend to take them for a walk. It’s very very low risk (use the rain cover if you want) and your mental health is vital. Take care, sending prayers your way.

It could be teething. Try some calpol to see if it works - if it does then some teething powder like Teetha and a freezable teething ring will work.

OP I don't have very specific advice but just to say that my DS was like this and I didn't feel comfortable doing anything much apart from walks alone with the buggy (if I even stopped and sat down somewhere he would cry so I had to keep walking and walking) when he was a tiny baby. He cried a lot! It was really tough - and I didn't even have a lockdown to deal with. I cannot imagine what I'd be doing now. Just to let you know that I sympathise, it's very tough and it's absolutely understandable to feel low. It does NOT mean you are doing anything wrong.

What I did back then was persevering with the routine, and waiting it out. Eventually it stopped - everything eventually passes, everything seems to be a phase with little ones. It's difficult though as you never know how long each phase lasts for...

Is she on solids? Could it be maybe that something around that? Teething is always a potential cause unfortunately at that age

Your daughter doesn't hate you OP. Babies are funny little things and sometimes we're meant to be mind readers!
Have you ever given her anything for teething? My DS who is 10 months uses teetha. Has done since about 4 months and I find them granules brilliant. Sometimes give him calpol if the granules doesn't help.
You know yourself when you have toothache it's very painful. Any pain in the mouth is horrible.

Don't worry about crying. You need to let it out some way and it's tough but it gets better

Hi @peajotter thank you so much for the reply.
It is really draining and my mental health is getting battered. Some days I get really really overwhelmed (like today) then tomorrow I think I will be okay, its honestly like my mind is an emotional rollercoaster right now.
All of my friends have 1/2/4 year olds so it's hard for them to help out.
Thank you for your advice, I will take it on board

DS was a crier and a non-sleeper and I remember at 6 months wondering why I’d felt the need to ruin my life so comprehensively. A sling was brilliant, it meant at least I could move about and go for walks. Sometimes I would just put him in the pram (fed and nappy changed) and walk for miles even though he often screamed for 20 minutes before passing out with exhaustion. He got much much better when he was able to move around under his own steam, so I think some of it was frustration. Sending and this too shall pass

Your baby definitely doesn't hate you. Even if she keeps crying she is still benefiting from being held by you, the centre of her world. Even as an adult we would definitely rather cry being cuddled than alone. Of course it is fine to put her down and take a few minutes to calm down when you need to, I don't mean you have to hold her all the time. I just mean that even if you can't see any signs, you being there and loving her is having a good effect.

This phase will pass, do what you need to get through it.

You’re doing amazingly. I have a 6 month old too so didn’t want to scroll past . Some of the things he likes at the moment are:

Something to sit up in (he’s desperately trying to sit on his own ) to see what’s going on , rather than a playmat

White noise as he sleeps

Playing with a baby wipes Packet

A jumperoo (These things are hideous but marvellous if you have the space and regularly available 2nd hand)

When I go in the garden I move either his bouncy chair or jumperoo into the shade where he can see me. It only buys about 15 mins contentment but enough to finish a cup of tea.

You may be doing all these things, but if not one of them might be worth trying. Im also finding he’s far more shy than our other children, as they were used to being passed around other grown ups a bit more.

Do call your health visitor, if she’s a good one hopefully she can give advice now and talk to you more regularly

I also have a 6 month old daughter (and a 3 year old and a 4 year old) and I hate to say it, but yours is better than mine!

Mine naps for about 20 minutes three times a day and then from 7:30pk to about 11pm and then is up every couple of hours.

So yours isn't some terrible baby or anything, you're actually quite lucky. I've had the magical 'sleep though at 10 weeks' baby as well, but they aren't the norm.

Now having said that, my daughter is quite a sunny little thing so I can't complain. But my middle child was a horrendously unhappy baby, he screamed all day and I couldn't take him anywhere because I just felt embarrassed. He hated everything, including me, and it was just awful.

So I do know how you feel. I genuinely think that some babies just hate being babies. He's three now and from about 18 months has her. Happy as Larry, he's brilliant and he adores me. He is also much smarter than his older brother, who was such a placid baby but is a total daydreamer as a child. Maybe all his baby anger was just rage that he couldn't get his thought out of his mouth? Who knows.

Anyway, hang in there. Your baby sounds perfectly normal and if anything you have got a better deal than me because mine barely naps, but I know how it feels to feel like your baby hates you and it's awful. She doesn't, and this will pass, but you just have to keep marching forward day by day until it gets better.

It sounds like you could do with a break. When is partner back? Could he return sooner or for a quick short period of time? Have you got family or friends close by who would look after her for a few hours or at best meet up with you for an outside coffee. It’s really important to meet people face to face when you have a little one just to chat and share your feelings and thoughts. As for her getting up in the night I wish I knew what to suggest it’s a bit if a minefield. Make sure you are doing nice things for you even if it’s a walk, run with her in the buggy, reading a book, reading stuff online, cup of tea or coffee and treats.

@maybemaybemaybe wow your reply made me cry, because that's exactly how I feel. Thanks so much for your comments I really appreciate what you have said! She is on solida jow I'm doing BLW and shes doing really well with that everyday, just the last few days has been a bit upset and grumpy but she really loves the food. As for teething I have been giving her the powder every morning @SpillTheTeaa and I have been giving the odd dose of calpol when I can't seem to settle her and shes a bit flushed it doesnt really make much of a difference
I wish I could take all of her pain away and just have a happy little baby x

My first cried a lot too. Comic crying for hours as a newborn and then just grumpy. Unfortunately it was until about 10 months. He was much happier when he could crawl around and play with toys a bit more. And since about 15 months (he’s now 4) has been so joyful. So my advice would be, get through it in any way you can. Your routine sounds good. And night wakes seem normal for that age. Mine woke every 45 minutes for months. 2 hours in a row was a miracle. Try pram, sling, walks, hip seat thingy. Anything really! Hope she grows out of it soon

Hi OP, sending sympathies. I second the Jumperoo if you have space. Also agree re something to sit up in - I used to prop my DD up in my nursing cushion, she liked that. I found 6 months a difficult age with teething & starting solids made her constipated, plus she was trying to move and not quite getting it yet which meant she got frustrated. She is now nearly 10 months and is generally so smiley and happy (still has her moments of course!). Really hope things improve for you soon x

Have you tried giving her calpol op? In case it's teething.

My usually lovely one year old just went through the grumpiest few days and I feel your despair.

Ah wow I started to reply to each person but there has been so many amazing responses.
Thank you everyone so so much, you have truly already made me feel better and like a normal mammy. I will be trying all of your tips

Don’t worry at all about replying to everyone! Hope she starts to get less grumpy soon.

Sounds like you're doing an amazing job OP. As much as we love our baby's it can be very lonely being indoors all day with them.

My DD is 21 months and went through a crying, wanting to be held all the time standing up phase as a baby. It's tough but to be honest I can hardly remember it now, not much help to you now I know, but just wanting to let you know you will get through it and as tough as it is now, it'll soon be a distant memory.

Do you have anything like the 4moms mamaRoo? It's quite pricey so we got ours secondhand from Facebook market place and sold it on for £10/20 less than we paid for it, but it was a brilliant and had different settings including a being held motion. I used to put DD in that in front of the tv (shameful, I know!) but it kept her occupied for a bit. Or nursery rhymes or baby sensory videos on the iPad.

I also second a Jumperoo, DD absolutely loved hers. She also enjoyed her door swing.

I read a little quote somewhere that 'the days/nights are long, but the years are short' and that's really stuck with me.

Stay strong, you're doing great ❤️

Oh I meant to say about constipation, my daughters been quite bad since we started weaning and started getting quite grumpy with it. I gave her some prunes (just a bit out of one of those Ellas pouches) and it really helped.

I agree with @MBM18 about nursery rhymes too, Little Baby Bum is virtually guaranteed to stop mine crying (it's on Netflix and YouTube). Someone will probably be along in a minute to talk about the evils of TV that young but sticking it on occasionally to give yourself a breather really won't do any harm!

I agree with whoever said try prunes.... We have done this too and it's made a big difference.

You're doing a great job OP. It will get easier. I remember the all consuming tiredness and having no help in lockdown makes things a million times harder for you.

Do you have a friend you could socially distance walk with? I've done this a couple of times and it really lifted me.