Please help I'm really struggling with 6 month old daughter

[NewbieH7]

Hi this site is very new to me! I really just need some advice and coping methods from mammys who have been here before as I'm really struggling.

I have a 6 month old baby girl who I love with every inch of my heart but I'm struggling to cope with the crying now and having her 24/7. My partner works away so I am alone all the time, it's been 7 weeks now in lockdown, alone with no help and baby.

I've found myself crying on the bathroom floor while she is screaming and I have no idea why. I dont know about teething as can't feel or see tooth. I feel worried to go out the house because she will just be so grumpy wherever she goes, she struggles with strangers now due to the lockdown so when we are out she is overwhelmed by people. I pick her up and she cries, putting her down and she cries I just can't win.
The wonder weeks app says she is going through a leap which will last another 29 days and I don't know how to cope.
She isn't sleeping through so I'm pretty tired too.
Before anyone asks - nothing wrong with her shes just grumpy at the minute.
Its been really lovely weather and sometimes I want to sit in the garden but baby just cries after 5 minutes and I have close neighbours who will hear her crying while they relax in the sun, so feel I need to go inside.
Driving in the car used to help settle her to sleep but since this leap starting that has seemed to go down hill too. I just cant do anything and really struggling daily.
Oh and to add to this I'm also doing a nursing degree.

I feel like she doesn't like me anymore

Please help me x

@MBM18 @PopcornAndWine I've literally been waking up at 6am and sticking the TV on in the bedroom so I can just lie there for 30mins, bad mam alert but I need it, it's my only time to sit and just chill!! And even thay shes getting a bit annoyed at. But that's fab I will have a look at that.
@mistermagpie I have been dealing with the constipation for ages now, shes now on laxatives from the doctor which I have been giving her a few weeks and its helping her go more regularly, worries me that laxatives isnt getting to the route of the problem though, which I did mention to health visitor and she just said just slowly bring her off them and hope for the best!

@ilovepuggies my partner is actually back next week I'm honestly so so excited for him to just be able to even make her breakfast or do a feed. His job is really hard going he was meant to be home today ans things got postponed so hes now got a date for next week, I think it made it worse thinking I was going to have some respite today then it didnt happened, I also think even just the company will help me, just knowing I can chat about other life stresses and just generally vent to someone, instead of keeping it all to myself.

I have a jump a roo, a door bounce ans probably every toy/contraption you can think of in this house, it's just not really working for past 5 minutes now however today I kept her in her high chair while I wizzed around her closing and hoovering and she just watched me while doing grumpy noises but seemed happy enough to sit and listen to Hoover and stuff which was good.
Maybe I'm just getting too overwhelmed by this mam life all of a sudden, I love her so so much but it really is hard sometimes! I'm a really positive vibe person too so I can't believe I've started feeling like this, thanks so much everyone for your kind helpful comments it's made my day x

P.s @TwistyHair I feel lucky after reading about your little one

You're doing so well, I have a slightly older baby and it is SO TOUGH. I'm really missing having a break.

Thinking back to six months, something must have been going on with teeth as Calpol did help so I'd recommend giving her that just for a day or two and see if it makes a difference. I remember buzzing my head off when the dosage increased at 6m.

As previous posters have said, jumperoo was a big help. He really enjoyed it and I got a hot tea break.

Sling meant he was less moany so I used that around the house for general sanity saving.

@Hercwasonaroll she really loved the prune pouches actually, so I might try and get a few more of them on my next shopping order! Also I would love to social distance walk but I feel worried to do that incase she is just so grumpy and unhappy, I feel its adding more pressure to me, but then at the same time I probably should just do it and if it fails, it fails, I'm sure my friends would understand especially as they have little ones too, sometimes they just seem so chilled and their babies do and I think, is this just me that's feeling like this? And is it just my baby that's grumpy?

I'm also just getting to terms with bottle feeding her after I've done 6 months of breast feeding, and I'm inbetween weaning so it's at that stage where I would need to take everything out the house with me, it's hard because nothing is open so I cant even get some boiling water from a cafe or anything for a feed! I've been managing with going for drives and going on a walk with just me and her but I think anything further I would struggle. Jesus I'm one of them really annoying mothers who looks to be complaining about EVERYTHING. I'm really not like this in general to be honest I guess I've just found myself here venting haha

Oh bless you! Everything does feel like such a big effort the first time and with lockdown it's worse. Start off with a short walk if you have any local friends, then go for more of a day out once you're more confident. Your friends shouldn't judge, especially if they have kids too.

The in between stage is the trickiest. Now my 3yo will eat stuff in cafes life is a lot easier (obviously before lockdown!).

Take a flask of water for bottles and try not to worry.

Hi OP, if you ever want to chat, feel free to PM me.

I've been where you are with the crying, grumpy baby! My DD screamed most of the first 7 months of her life, it gradually improved over time. She had medical input but none of the HCPs could find anything wrong with her and none of the prescribed medication helped. She just gradually grew out of it. At almost 2 she is still very intense, 'spirited' child and can throw awesome tantrums BUT parenting is so much better now! The older she got the more I enjoyed it and dare I say it, the more I loved her. I definitely had PND looking back but I was too unwell to engage with the specialist therapy they offered and discharged myself after a few sessions and refused medication. I went back and did 8 months of the therapy after DD turned 1 which really helped my anxiety and it has helped me reframe and deal with how I felt about the first year but especially the first few months of her life.

I would definitely get her out even if she's crying. Does she fall asleep in the pram if she's tired? Mine used to mostly sleep in the pram at the age of 6m so we did lots of walks! She would often scream her head off for the first 10 minutes or so and yes people did look at me, I did feel stressed, but there was nothing else I could do to stop the crying and she would fall asleep afterwards. At 6 months I could also get some time by plopping her in front of kids TV with her dummy, sitting her in her highchair with food or toys, singing nursery rhymes to her with actions (she used to love Grand Old Duke of York at that age and being lifted accordingly!). You said she has a dummy at night, definitely get a Sleepytot bunny, I can't praise them enough! Also we used a lullaby music thing that we would put on whenever she woke in the night (which wasn't as often as your DC as ours has been mostly a pretty decent sleeper), and over time it became a sleep cue, and she got older and would ask for it on, and then older that she can press the button to play it herself if she wakes in the night and off she goes back to sleep. You could also use premade bottles of formula with a sterile bottle and just pour it in when you're out that's mostly what I did if I was out.

My daughter was the exact same. She's 1 now and much better now but knows what she wants and how she wants to do it. She can have mammoth tantrums.

Try feed, calpol, teething stuff and a sensory video on YouTube/Netflix/prime tv.

Mine hated the Pram, sling, being rocked, she was just a miserable baby a lot sometimes.

My son was the most placid baby ever, smiled and giggled at everyone and everything and this one just stares into the depths of your soul.

Everyone has given you great advice. The only thing I'd add is a battery operated swing chair. My first was a crying screamer who never slept. The swing chair was the only thing that ever got me 15 minutes peace, completely saved my sanity.
She's 3 now and lovely and sleeps. It does pass. But it's so difficult when you're going through it, you have my sympathies.

Mine was similar at that age - never wanted to be put down and cried until I picked her up again. I played Little Baby Bum music on Spotify on repeat as she seemed to like it and calm down. I also found giving her one of those baby rice cakes to suck kept her quiet for a bit. She's nearly 1 now and totally different! Sits and 'reads' books by herself for ages !!!

Yes, mine was a total nightmare. Nearly put me off having another.

Re, going out, I’d tell your friends. Just say, she’s going through a grumpy phase, so let’s meet up but I may have to go home if she gets too grumpy. Also, I know they’re expensive but you could always get some ready made formula bottles, she’d probably be ok with those at room temp. Or measure out the powder and take a thermos of hot water. Also, bottles that have been made up can be kept for up to two hours before you use them. You can also buy little insulated bottle bags which would keep them warmer if you made bottles up before you went out. UNICEF have the guidelines.

I'm also just getting to terms with bottle feeding her after I've done 6 months of breast feeding

Could it be the formula that's making her constipated then? What formula are you using, and which number?

and I'm inbetween weaning so it's at that stage where I would need to take everything out the house with me

Just bring a bananas or an Ella's pouch.

it's hard because nothing is open so I cant even get some boiling water from a cafe or anything for a feed!

I never tried to make formula out and about. You need the little bottles of pre-made formula. They are £3.20 for 4, just keep one or two in you bag/bottom of pram and you are sorted.

Just go for walks with the pram and if she screams she'll soon fall asleep. People won't judge you, don't worry, we've all been there. DH used to walk DC1 at 10pm at night, screaming, worried everyone would think he'd stolen her.

It does pass, hang in there. Everything is a phase.

My daughter is formula fed (weaning now). I just make a bottle and take it out on one of those insulated pouch thingies you get. A bottle is good for two hours from making it, and we're not out for longer than an hour just yet. Don't put yourself under so much pressure though, it doesn't matter if the baby cries when you are out. I used to be so self conscious but now I have three under 5 someone is always whinging or crying or being noisy or kicking off or something, nobody else is really that bothered (unless you're in a restaurant or theatre or something, which you won't be just now). If you're in the park and your baby cries. They won't probably even notice.

Formula can cause constipation, we've had to try a few.

Don't worry about the constipation issue itself. The root cause can just be that their gut is immature. My middle son is three (just) and has been on laxatives for about 18 months, the Dr said it might take two years for his bowel to manage by itself and it's not really an issue. It does depend on the laxative though so keep speaking to your GP, they are good at managing this stuff, do not listen to your health visitor, most haven't a clue about this issue. The prune pouches are good though, we keep a stock in for him in case he needs one still!

@NewbieH7 how are you getting on?

Oh my goodness, so much better. I have no idea what was going in the week I wrote this but she is a different baby. Back to her normal self, so happy. Hubby is home now too so I've been getting some lovely me time every so often.

Thanks so much for asking xxx

I’m really really pleased to hear that. Long may it last!!! X