When did your baby get easier...

[misslockdown87]

I know there's no general hard and fast rule but just wondering when you believe your baby got easier..
I should start by saying my baby isn't overly difficult but at the moment we are going through a regression and he's difficult to get to nap. Entertaining him is difficult too - he's 4.5 months so as you can imagine his attention span is short.
It's getting slightly easier as he can "entertain" himself long enough for me to make some lunch or use the loo so we're getting there.
Just wondered what the magic age was for you or if it's just gradual and you just one day realise it's slightly easier.
(By the way - I have heard the saying they don't get easier it's just difficult but in different ways)

In my experience they only get harder!
I had easy babies and the baby bfc stage suits me. Loved it.
Toddlers are awesome but one of mine was a non sleeping, tantrum tastic monster. She was hard work aged 1 - 3. Now aged 4 she is a delight.
Another was a dream baby, easy toddler, and average child I guess.
My last one is only a toddler now and the sweetest thing ever.

I found the first year really tough, my DS was hard work, cried constantly, wouldn't be put down, wouldn't sleep, wouldn't be entertained by anything for more than a few seconds etc. It got better as he got more independent. When he learned how to crawl/walk/talk etc he got so much happier. Now he's 19 months and he's amazing, I'm loving it, but that definitely wasn't how I felt at 4 months. It does get easier, I promise.

5 months for me

And if it's adorable how 4 months is hard then I really see no point in anything anymore. I simply can't do it and my baby will be better off with someone else! We are finally managing some aleeep about 4am until 7am and that's it. No naps. He just won't sleep. If it gets worse than this what is the point????

The people who said that crap are sanctimonious dicks op. Four months IS hard. Your whole life has changed, it revolves around a little human who needs you 24 hours a day, won't sleep so you don't sleep, and can't communicate anything with you. That is tough.

You are in the midst of it right now, you will be in survival mode. You will come out of this. And no matter how hard a toddler is, how hard a middle school kid is or how difficult your teenager is - it's not as hard as a chronic sleep deficit. And no matter how much people say 'my toddler still doesn't sleep well' - they still aren't a crying non sleeping newborn are they?!

Are you getting any help for your PND? I take Lexapro and that has helped immensely.

Your baby isn't better off with someone else, that's the pnd talking and the sleep deprivation. You're a good mum and your baby loves you. It is hard and you're allowed to feel like it's really really hard.

At 10 weeks when I discovered a stretchy wrap carrier, he slept for a decent amount of time in it and I could get things done. Then at 5 months when he started crawling and didn't want to be carried or held all the time.

Oh, and at 2 1/2 years when he slept though.

When dd could sit up unaided she was happier. At 7 months she started sleeping longer than an hour (that was hell...). 2 weeks before her first birthday she actually slept through the night for the first time.

I hated baby stage to be honest, now she's a little person walking and talking she's absolutely delightful. And she only takes about 10mins to put to bed, rather than the hours it took as a baby.... It definitely does get better op!

Ignore those who say this is the easy bit. The vast majority of people I know found the tiny baby stage the hardest, especially first time round.

A lot of it depends on what you find most frustrating. You say naps are tricky, I've been there (and am there right now with DC2 who is 3 months). And it is rubbish right now but naps often get better around 6/7 months when they start to lengthen.

When they sit up and start to crawl, that helps them to entertain themselves.

With my eldest it just got easier and easier and from about 2.5 onwards it was a dream. Don't despair OP you are doing a great job in very tough circumstances.

6 months when we started weaning and sleep training.

I'm not sure if the baby gets easier or we start to relax. For me there were two milestones that made life a lot easier.

I gave up breast feeding, which made me significantly less tired and I gave up with my determination to be the very best parent I the world, which was putting ridiculous and unecessary pressure on me.

Nine months was when I started finding my daughter easier, but honestly, the first year was really hard. She was a very highly strung, demanding baby though, and they're all so different. She is almost 17 months old now and an absolute joy - I've suddenly realised why people have more than one!

7 months when she started sleeping through and napping in her cot. Not gave my DH and I a decent nights sleep and our sanity back, it gave me some 'me' time when she napped.

The terrible twos are not to be underestimated. The tantrums are epic.

10.5mo when he started walking. He transformed overnight from a constantly crying baby to a happy, easygoing, incredibly obedient little boy and has remained that way every since and is now almost 4.5yo. From 18mo I have found parenting a complete doddle to be honest but I am aware that this could change overnight as it did before so I am just enjoying it while it lasts :)

Oh and I found the baby stage horrific OP and hated it when people said it was the easiest stage, it definitely wasn't for me! Toddler and preschooler was an easy stage for me where other people struggle. We are all different and our DC are all different so please don't be discouraged by people saying it gets harder, that isn't true for everyone.

At 4 months it's not just that it's hard work, but so new. You're still affected by hormones, body changes, trying to figure out your new place in the world. I think around six months I had a big step in terms of coming to terms with my new identity, letting go of a lot of worries (stopped tracking baby sleep/nap times etc). Then it got easier at every milestone - crawling, walking, communicating. It never gets 'easy', but the difficult bit changes so you get a respite from whatever is currently difficult and it feels easier.

What support are you getting, for both PND and looking after little one? The lack of help from visitors will be really making things worse at the moment, I really feel for you.

OP hope you are okay. Just to say that I have a 5.5 month old and we had a really crap 6 weeks or so until about a week ago. Sleep regression nightmare. She is now settling much better and I am getting so much more sleep. So I think the 4-6 month section is really tough but we seem to be coming out of it now so my advice would be cut yourself some slack, persevere through this sleep regression phase, it does get easier.

To those couple of people who seem to be goading the OP I'm not sure what you're trying to gain... honestly shame on you.

Just read the whole thread and can see people are doing the classic this is the easy stage it only gets harder thing. I had PND too and a non sleeping baby and I was on my knees and couldn't understand how anyone could tell me that this was the easy bit. It is so unutterably cruel to say that to a struggling new mother. And as I said it wasn't true in my case, I still have a desire to punch anyone who says that sort of thing to a new mother.

About 18m with the second and 3.5 years with the first

4 months was hard here too. Sleep had gone to pot, teething was on the way and she was frustrated at a lot of things. It’s does just sort of get easier as time goes on I think. For us, it was easier once DD could crawl, and then walk. She loved being able to move around.

She hated the pram / sling etc, so once she could walk we could actually get about a bit (without constant crying / whinging!)

It got easier / nicer again once she could talk, and then scoot / ride her balance bike for a decent amount of time.

She’s 3 now and I would say it isn’t really hard at all (most of the time!). It is genuinely fantastic. I’m due again in August and sort of dreading the newborn / baby bit. Toddlers / preschoolers are absolutely brilliant!

People who say this is the easy bit / it just gets worse have obviously had very ‘easy’ content babies. Not all babies are happy to lay on a playmat for long periods of time / sit in the pram etc. My friend had a very chilled, easy baby who just slept and smiled, which is what I imagined all babies were like. When my DD came along a couple of years later I had a big surprise!

I think it depends on the child I find my DSS (8) more challenging then my 4.5 month old but that's probably because the baby naps so I get time to sit down and switch off but the 8 year old is non stop and constantly wants attention (amplified by lockdown because usually he would have clubs to run off some off the excess energy)

I think when they get to an age they are unlikely to fail over when watching tv and you can have 5 minutes off So maybe 2 years.

The challenges do change yes. I found 1 + hard too, as once baby was walking I didn't get a break just to sit. Plus they gain their personality starts to really show as in likes and dislikes. So when I was happy to sit and play farms they didn't want to, but wanted to stick their fingers in all the plant pots in the garden for hours on end !

I have a 5 month old now too as well as a nearly 4 year old.

@misslockdown87

I found life got easier when mine were 24 and 28 years old when they moved into their own homes.😂

Seriously, my own experience was that it doesn't get easier as such, just that the challenges are different, so easier or harder to cope with depending on how you cope with some situations. For example, I find a lack of sleep really hard, but thankfully, dh doesn't, so was able to give me several nights each week where he took over and I could sleep. Otoh, he definitely found it harder than me to cope with challenging behaviours like toddler tantrums.

I think as well, that it is hard to be a parent - how many other jobs, or household appliances come without an set of instructions? With parenting, there are thousands of books about it, but in reality, they are based on opinions or personal experience. Just like on here. The thing is, all children are unique and what works for one will not work for another, even among siblings. You've had some good advice here, ignore those who are negative. Give yourself the time to become the parent got want to be and don't be hard on yourself when you don't quite make it. It honestly does get better and you will look back on this time with different eyes once you have come through it.

The terrible twos are not to be underestimated. The tantrums are epic.

For some. We didn't experience this at all. The baby months were definitely the hardest and I maintain this is the case for us at age 4.