When did your baby get easier...

[misslockdown87]

I know there's no general hard and fast rule but just wondering when you believe your baby got easier..
I should start by saying my baby isn't overly difficult but at the moment we are going through a regression and he's difficult to get to nap. Entertaining him is difficult too - he's 4.5 months so as you can imagine his attention span is short.
It's getting slightly easier as he can "entertain" himself long enough for me to make some lunch or use the loo so we're getting there.
Just wondered what the magic age was for you or if it's just gradual and you just one day realise it's slightly easier.
(By the way - I have heard the saying they don't get easier it's just difficult but in different ways)

Months 6-10 were nice because she wasn't mobile and happy just sitting in a pram watching scenery or inside a crib with some toys. Nice time to go for long walks or visit friends and park the pram nearby.

I found months 11-14 best in terms of sleep (aside from a few teething nights) because she took two long naps a day and woke up less at night. Was able to get a lot of work done during the day, and even relax for a hour with coffee and cake.

Months 14-16 were exhausting because daytime sleep suddenly disappeared into one nap of 1-2hrs which was barely enough time to make some food for myself an do a few chores. She was also more mobile and refused to stay in the buggy for long. Once taken out she'd pick up random bits of rubbish on the street and stick those in her mouth or touch every part of the floor and stick her fingers in mouth (exactly what you need during a pandemic).

DD's just turned 17months and I feel this phase is the easiest with all factors considered. She's beginning to say few words and plays with toys & books for longer. She's more stable on her feet so less worrying about her falling over and she's less prone to mouthing things off the floor. Eating has also improved so offering food is an effective way to make her happy. Daytime sleep is the only thing I wish were better, but she does sleep well at night waking up only once.

About aged 7 ... sorry !

It definitely is hard in different ways. At 4 months we had the sleep regression and he wouldn't go to bed until around 9pm after about 45 minutes feeding. And yet I could plonk him on a play mat in the mornings for half an hour to eat my breakfast and have a coffee. He's now 18 months, sleeps through (started in Feb), but is on the go all day with one nap of about 40 minutes and constantly complains if he's not eating.

Flicking back through my social media I concur that about 7-10 months was a great age for long days out in the pram, bribing with biscuits in a high chair, and 2 guaranteed naps. It was not a great age for sleep.

Really dependent on the baby, their temperament, what they do, how they sleep. I would say 5-9 months were good for me because mine sat early but crawled late so there was a good period of time when they would sit in one place and play with toys. Mine took well to weaning and dropped some milk feeds quite quickly, so I found that easier too. One of them was a bad sleeper though, so I found her more difficult than her sister.

But in general, I found it for me it was never as hard as when they were newborns.

With my first who's now 4 it was hard until he could crawl. It then got a bit easier at 1. Age 2 was pretty lovely. 3 he got a bit difficult but slept better.

My 7mo is serious hard work and I cannot wait till she can move herself about, then I know things will start to improve. If I'm really lucky she'll nap in her cot and not wake 6 times a night but who knows.

I definitely find 4 to 8/9 months the worst.

Compare the variation between my comments and the one above!

Still waiting- he’s 18. I can remember thinking I’d be able to stop worrying so much once he was on to solids! Oh my naivety!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Depends so much on the baby, and ignore people saying that it only gets harder - many children are easier as babies, some not. My ds1 and ds3 were grumpy babies who needed lots of attention - DS2 and ds4 were pretty placid and liked food and sleep. We also all experience being a new mother in different ways - someone with tons of baby experience, a supportive husband and parents living around the corner who take the baby for an afternoon or two will it much easier than a single mum with a colicky baby and grumpy neighbours. Some people love the baby stage, others find toddlers so much more interesting.
And you're doing it in a lockdown with less interaction and support than most new mums through history, give yourself credit, and also find opportunities to give yourself a break too - if you have a partner, make sure you're also getting some time off.

My two more simulation-seeking babies got easier with each milestone - the more they could do, the happier they got. It may be coincidence, but they're also notably bright ahead of their age, it was like they got bored of being babies. DS3 is still very sensitive, busy, and a lovely but tricky child to manage, but ds1 is now 8 and quite easygoing, so it isn't forever!

One thing I would say though as a mother of 4 is that babies do get used to what you do often, and most of us do complain that our eldest children are always worst at entertaining themselves because we've always done it for them. I'm a bit of a hippy and have never left a baby to cry but with my later children I've realised the benefit of letting them whinge for a minute, in a sling or in a bouncer next to me, while I finish doing a job around the house, or just lying there on a mat that I move around the garden while I do some weeding or exercise and chat or sing to them while I go. They'll get bored really quickly if you're on a phone or the computer but will often happily watch physical tasks for a while, and it gives you time to do all the jobs during the day and when they're awake and then have some leisure and rest when they're asleep.

My eldest 7 months when he started to crawl. He stopped whinging a lot then.

My current baby is 5 months. Since getting a good day routine things are better. Still whines as like yours doesn't like to be left for long to entertain himself. But I've finally got him napping at regular times and self settling. I think crawling and sitting will help him too as he's very frustrated and wants to move desperately.

Great advice from @Stuckforthefourthtime

Thanks for the replies. For some context he hasn't got colic but I do have severe pnd so I'm supposing that's plus lockdown plus being on my own is what's contributing.

And if it's adorable how 4 months is hard then I really see no point in anything anymore. I simply can't do it and my baby will be better off with someone else! We are finally managing some aleeep about 4am until 7am and that's it. No naps. He just won't sleep. If it gets worse than this what is the point????

Does everybody see now why phrases like "enjoy the cuddles" and "hahahaha it only gets harder" can be so damaging? To those who wrote replies along those lines - please give some extra thought to what you're writing before trotting out standard responses with little thought.

OP, all babies are different. Just because some babies got harder as toddlers doesnt mean yours will. You sound like you're really struggling, please please phone your HV and say all this.

Also, can you and your partner work in shifts? Thats what me and my husband do, and it lets the one thats not on baby duty get some sleep.



This. X

It’s tough isn’t it.

My middle child was really really tough. As he developed things got easier - so eith sitting up/movement/crawling/standing up/walking he became easier.
His sleep became slightly more reliable.

Tiny babies look cute but give her a toddler who can communicate (a bit) and has a personality any day.

Good luck op.

Honestly I found it really hard with both of mine whilst they couldn’t communicate anything to me apart from crying. Once they started communicating- even non verbal (pointing and making sounds) at least I had some clue what they wanted x

When they can start walking. 12 months-ish. Game changer! They keep themselves entertained then.

Ignore people who say it gets worse. I have 2 toddlers and they are very sweet. I much prefer them as toddlers than as young babies/newborns!

I found 4-8 months the hardest bit so fair (he's nearly two). It got loads easier at 8 months when he learned to crawl, and we sleep trained - he was so much happier, and so were we! I've found everything from about 12 months onwards to be more or less total joy, which presumably means I'm just asking for the terrible twos to hit me hard...

I do think it's so shitty and snide to tell mothers of young babies that it's the easy bit, though. I really, honestly thought I just must not be cut out for motherhood because I didn't like the newborn stage - but all the women I know who loved having tiny babies are struggling with the stage that I'm currently loving. I'm sure they'll find future stages easy that I find hard. It's all swings and roundabouts.

Newborn is the easiest bit as they just lie down and be quiet.

I also think that a more accurate way of thinking about it for me is not so much that it got easier but that it got better. I suppose being stuck under DS breastfeeding all day with him unable to give anything back and being bored to tears (I didn't want to sit and watch Netflix all day! Why do people say that like it's such a wonderful opportunity!) was sort of easier, in a physical effort way, than spending the morning building towers with him, chatting about his books and running after him on a walk, but my god the latter is so much more fun.

@fuckerdoodle you must have been lucky. My newborn would defo not 'just lie down and be quiet'

Not easier, just different.

Depends on the baby! Ds1 - absolute nightmare, full-on, would not sleep or be put down for the first 6 months. Exhausting and relentless. Then hit a sweet phase from 6m-18m where he was just adorable (sleep not great but improved). 18m - 2.5y tantrum central. Lovely but tantrummy! Now, just about to turn 3 - lovely, happy, chatty, sweet boy! Long may it continue!
Ds2 - newborn: easy. Slept, fed, slept slept, fed, slept again. Now 7mo and still easy! Did nothing different. Some babies are just harder than others!

From a nap/ sleep perspective I found it easier around 10 months. As for generally easier, I think toddlers and pre schoolers are way more exhausting than babies sorry!

I’m looking forward to early school years