Niece said my husband hurt her

[Momof4zena]

Hi everyone, I am new here but I am looking for advice. My husband was watching my 4yr old niece in a rental home we were all staying at and she said he "squeezed her and pushed her" while he was watching her.

My husband said he asked my niece to stop hitting him and she did not stop. She went to hit him again so my husband caught one of her punches and held it away from him and said in a stern voice "we don't hit" and when he let go she fell down. My niece said "I'm telling my mom." To which my husband responded with "I will tell her you hit me." Then my niece started crying out for her mom.

My sister doesn't believe my husband at all and said my niece had brought it up numerous times that my husband squeezed her and hurt her.

I've never seen my husband do this with my children and he keeps his cool when he is frustrated. If he does get frustrated he walks away. I really don't think he squeezed my niece. Could it be a language issue? Or would she just lie about it, even a few times at home? She did say later he didn't push her, but she fell. And I believe she was tantruming as he was holding her hand.

My husband thinks my niece lied because she want angry at him and wanted him to get in trouble.

Just looking to see if it's normal for a 4 yr old to lie like that.

If someone is looking after a child and that child is behaving like that, then I think they have every right to discipline them. Hope everything sorts out.

I don't think your niece or your husband are necessarily lying. Your niece says he 'squeezed' her and it sounds like that is true (while holding her arm away from him)? I'm not saying your husband was wrong, it sounds like he had to stop her hitting him, but I think it's unhelpful to accuse your niece of lying. Your husband probably did (inadvertently) hurt her, and she's been told to tell her mum when someone hurts her.

Hi OP
I don’t think either your husband or niece are lying - more a matter of perception. Your niece maybe felt her arm had been squeezed and felt scared, probably more so than if it was her own parents holding her arm. Your husband was just using a normal amount of pressure an adult would use to stop a child hitting them. I think your husband is right to avoid contact on his own with her for a bit but hopefully it will all settled down. Your sis is being a bit dramatic but is probably just overprotective and maybe anxious about her daughters behaviour in general if these tantrums are the norm.

Thank you all for your input. I do agree that this was a perception thing. Of course he didn't squeeze her, but that could have been her perception of it. How else would a 4 yr old describe their punch being caught?

My husband said as soon as my neice said "I'm telling my mom." is when he felt frustration, not before. He felt this way because my sister has a reputation of over protecting her children and getting mad at other adults, hence the tit for tat. He walked out of the room to get my sister after their exchange.

I think it's best to leave it at, he stopped the punch, didn't apply excessive force, we will get you in the future.

This happened right before the quarentine. So we have a lot of time to have some space.

Your niece sounds like a nightmare and your sister is creating a monster. I wouldn't be impressed if my 4 year old was throwing punches. Even if he did squeeze her then so what? She might just learn to stop swinging at people.