Hello, first time post here from a longtime lurker. Worried and really not sure what to do next or if anyone else has experience of this type of situation.
DH and I have a nearly 7 month old DD. Safety has been a sticking point between DH and me since she was born (e.g. DH thought baby’s room should be higher than SIDS guidance - I’ve made sure it isn’t), but especially now as DD becomes more mobile.
Yesterday, DH again put DD sitting propped up in her now-outgrown Moses basket (the open type, with no hood) on its rocking stand a few feet away from him, while he did some washing up. The other day I found DD in the same situation while DH had left the room, apparently “for a minute”. Apparently he’s put her in the Moses like this a few times lately while I’ve been in the bathroom or resting due to (temporary) illness.
Because of her age and the fact that she can roll, I feel it really isn’t safe to put DD in the Moses when it’s on its stand (the rocking type), whether sitting or not. Even if he’s just a few feet away, I feel an accident could happen quickly, especially if DH is doing another task. I have told DH this and that we should put the stand in the garage.
DH thinks I’m totally overreacting and that what he was doing is fine. He also wants to keep the stand in the house as he doesn’t want the basket to touch the floor at any time, or for DD to be near the floor, because floors are dirty - DH says this is cultural (he’s originally from a country in Eastern Europe, whereas I’m British). DH also doesn’t want to store the Moses on a small table as “all our tables are full” (!) apparently. It must be stored on the stand. This worries me as I fear DH might do the same thing against, though he says he won’t.
DH says that regardless of safety guidance, DD wouldn’t be able to fall out of the basket while it’s on the stand because the “laws of physics” means this isn’t possible (DH is neither a physicist nor an engineer). He just doesn’t think it’s physically possible.
DH says he’s happy to accept that it’s not safe to put DD in certain situations (e.g. sitting up in the Moses basket) but that I have to “prove” to him that’s it’s not safe. Apparently he will accept the opinion of childcare experts but is reluctant to do so from countries such as U.K., US, Germany etc as he feels they are of a certain cultural ‘type’ that goes too far with H&S. Somewhere like Italy he might accept, apparently - not that either of us speaks the language - as he feels they are less ‘extreme’ about H&S there.
We recently bought a lovely, age-appropriate swaying chair with a harness that DD usually enjoys, but DH says it’s too heavy to move from the living room to the adjacent kitchen - even though I manage to do it fine and I’m literally half DH’s weight.
Yes, I’m sure we can find a safe practical solution (buy a playpen?) that we can both accept. But my concern is that DH is putting DD in unsafe situations and isn’t supervising her the way that he should be. There have been similar issues in the past e.g. putting DD on the sofa in her bouncy chair while he plays games on his phone - not even holding onto DD or the chair. Also carrying DD up and down the stairs in her bouncy chair. He just doesn’t accept that these situations are unsafe and is very resistant to my concerns. He says he just can’t think about safety the way that I do because he hasn’t grown up with it.
I just don’t know what to do. I’m worried about the situations that could arise not only now but in the future. DH works evenings so is often at home with us during the afternoons.