October '04 babies

[Toots]

Wow. Can't believe it's me starting this thread. Eyelash, where are you? Get any sleep last night?

RANT
Any post-c-sectioners sick and tired of relying on dp to ferry them everywhere? I feel so useless! Can't even nip to Tesco when he's at work - corner shop is my limit as even though I am physically feeling okay after op, we live on a big hill and pushing pram back up it after walking anywhere else would be too much i think. And dh is using my car now instead of his own which means mine is getting in the same state as his. i am so fed up. and baby didn't sleep.

Bibiboo - I am post c-section too and I do sympathise. I managed to get mastitis by the end of week one too so I have had to take it really easy which is not my style!

As for routines - well, I keep telling myself it is prob a bit early (I hope) as Bean is only 2 weeks old today. Nights are fairly predictable - awake at 2ish (depending on time of last feed before bed) and then again at 5ish. Days are more erratic. Keep roughly to 3-4hour feeds but it is often 2 as well.
Main problem at the moment is long crying-developing-into-screaming sessions, usually after food. Am trying all the known tricks for wind (he keeps bringing his legs up) but it is very tiring and often upsetting too as he looks like he is in pain
Also dp back at work today so am missing him too. Boo.

Turtle - am completely up for a London sesh, we missed you last time. Meece reunited!!

Just nipping in to say (a)big hugs (b) not just C-sectioners, honestly - I got outside the house to post a letter (25 metres away) two weeks after having dd1. Felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach by a horse.

It WILL get better.

Sorry I'm such a grumpy old goat - am going to see friend and her new baby tonight - dh taking me obviously. Her baby came 3 weeks early, she had a 6 hour labour from start to finish and not a stitch in her body ... anywhere. Jammy beggar. Still, get to cuddle a newbie and realise how big mine already is at just 3 and half weeks ...

Bean, mine feeds 3-4 hours still, but sometimes every 2. And does the 2 am and 5 am thing - but she usually wants to play for an hour or two before going back to sleep - why are babies nocturnal?

I'm with all you post c-sectioners, going stir crazy in the house and i'm actually quite lucky with lifts from friends , today one took DS to nrsery for me and another took me DD and DS2 to toddler group, so yes i've been out. The distance I can walk is limited by having to take a double buggy with me.
When are you all planning to try driving? I was told 4-6 weeks depeding on your insurance company, I will be 4 weeks next weekend but i'm not sure i'm up to handling a ford galaxy yet, serves me right for having 1st section 3rd time round! Can't get all 3 in the small car!

Hey this thread dropped off the "last day" list! So are we all suffering from the six-week blues (my HV promised me 1st time round that six weeks was the worst it got and if I survived that I had made it!) We are still very much bumbling along - yesterday DD screamed all the way through the meal/bed time routine from 5pm-8pm - every time she was put down actually! How do others manage this? The one saving grace of DD at the moment is that once she is out (any time from 7pm-9pm) she is down for a good few hours so we don't have that evening fussing (cross fingers).

Toots - impressed by your routine - esp getting to bed at 9pm as I am just usually sitting down to dinner then. How do you manage to fit in the expressing time esp with DD1?

Re the driving - was told by the Dr to just carry on with anything and everything I felt up to so drove 12 days after section and was fine (in fact, felt pretty damn liberated). I have been taking arnica since I went into labour and my wound has healed very quickly indeed.

No sign of a routine here although I make sure feeds are at least regular. Bean has ended up in with us for the last 2 nights as I have been so keen to get some kip.... oopd. Am paranoid about setting up bad habits but am even more sleep deprived... what's a girl to do?!

Today seems to be a nightmare, DS2 has just gone down for the first time today, luckily my mum has taken pity on me and taken the other 2 to the park. DS2 and I have thrush from the antibiotics he had in hospital. Found out yestaday DS1 definately needs a hearing aid, have had 3 medical appointments this week which between them have generated 4 more. When am I going to be able to leave the house without going to a hospital?
Think I probably could drive but can't lift DD into car or get double buggy in or out of car so its basically out of the question!

Oh God, geogteach, poor you... can you get your mum to stay and help for a while, or at least on those days you've got more appointments. Or maybe ask DP to take some parental leave while you are still recovering? Do hope tomorrow is better. x

Good morning all

Geogteach - Hope you get some kind of let up soon. Sounds really tough

Florence - I've knocked the expressing on the head for now - who do you think I am, Cazzybabssuperwoman???!!! - bottle of aptamil for us. Bedtimes are usually OK - which I'm surprised about. I've actually got more patience than when I was pregnant. Try and have dd2 fed so that she can sit in her chair and suck her dummy while I cuddle up to dd1 to do bedtime stories. The weird thing is when I've said goodnight and leave the room, and lug the baby out in the chair with me, still not used to that!

I'm going to have to wean the baby off her dummy for going to sleep. It just doesn't stay in. Even she refused to have it back in when it fell out for the fifth time in half an hour at 3.45 the other morning.

Beansprout - we had a little co-kip here in the early hours. I think if they can go to sleep in their cot as well at other times, it's not a problem. It's if they never have done and you want them to that it gets tricky.

I miss you all! Distracted - where are your megaposts? I always enjoy getting stuck into a nice long one from you.

Bibi - are you back in your high heels?

Turtle - how is the spd, any improvements?

Piglit - how are you? Haven't heard from you in ages?

Huppa, Eyelash, Harman, Beckswith3, Bellie and everyone else, please post when you can.

I'm going to try and post everyday. Even if it's just to say I've sworn at three inanimate objects and the baby.

I need my meece! The force is strong with us! Make it so!

Turtle - one of us should start a thread in the meet ups..................

I hear your rallying cry Toots!! Given that I have long since established the importance of the October meece to my mental health, am going to try to post every day too!

Bean seems to be less "colicky" the last couple of days, so that disgusting gunk ("natural orangey flavour"...) seems to be working. Am also giving up slightly on the routine/get-him-in-the-cot stuff. He can settle in his cot but at the moment hey, he's 2 weeks old and when he is in pain, I'm going to cuddle him, and cuddle him good and if he falls asleep on me then ok. Am I storing up trouble or just following good mummy instincts..? Where's my book - I need to look up the chapter on following your instincts....!

Dp at home today, so can breathe out and may even take a couple of hours off later (heh heh, evil mummy twiddles oily moustache).

I echo Toots' sentiments to y'all. Big snogs to those who want them and a friendly "hello" to those of you less inclined towards me . Hope we all have a good day today.

Message withdrawn

Hi all,
No Toots, i'm not back in my heels yet - in fact I think I'm feeling lower now than I was 2 weeks ago. Anyone heard of the 4 week blues? Ususal stuff, lost weight quickly at first, but now am left with saggy tum which I can't shift so maternity stuff too big, normal stuff too small ... feeling fat and untrendy in tracky bottoms and slippers all day long. Did have a day at a spa with MIL on Wed but it went so fast, it's like it was all a lovely dream!
The routine I thought we were getting into has disappeared and boo now does what she likes, when she likes, as frazzled mummy too tired to argue - I'm hoping to rectify the situation this weekend with dh's help and get myself feeling a bit better. Might have highlights next week and try and get out more, but with no transport and crappy weather, even that's hard.
Also, how can I justify incedibly expensive outfit for work Xmas 'do' to myself? I know it will make me feel wonderful, but I really shouldn't spend that much money with Xmas coming up etc ...
SOMEONE SLAP ME ... feeling sooooo terribly sorry for self - must get dh to take me to see Bridget Jones 2 to cheer self up ... in fact, I have the first one on dvd which I can educate my girl with at the same time (i.e. "do not drink too much, smoke too much and end up like her...")

Bean, FWIW I think at 2wks they are too little to learn anything! And DD has yet to go to sleep without being held - she's 4wks now. But has also been left to cry countless times because of competing demands from DS. Unfortunately she doesn't ever seem to go to sleep then, just cries more . Maybe I need to persevere with the dummy - often she just spits it out and then I give up and let her cry because I can't keep holding it in and deal with DS at the same time. Thank god the weekend is tomorrow!

On the good side, both DS and DD are in their beds at the moment!

Bibiboo, commiserations - I am still in my maternity clothes and cleverly put away all my normal clothes in, ooh, April, I think - but not sure exactly where they are now even if I could fit them! A bit of shoe shopping maybe - at least my feet are no longer swollen!

Thanks Florence - just what I needed to hear! Not sure when they do start to learn, but hey, that comes later (sticks head back in sand....)

Bibi - Don't blame you for feeling a bit fed up my friend. This is not only a 7 day a week job but 24 hours a day AND THERE IS NO ANNUAL LEAVE. The HV asked if my family were around to help and I nearly cried when I had to say "no". Dp is fantastic but it's really just us. Cinema is a long way off for us yet but if you do see Bridget, I want to hear ALL about it! I did read that 4-6 weeks is a really tough phase, so hang on in there girl and don't underestimate trying to recover from surgery on top of all the other demands on you at the moment. Big hug.

I think Bean may be on a growth spurt (because weighing 11 lbs at 16 days old is just not enough....) so the feeding is becoming more frequent. Could be a long weekend!

Big hugs from the Inferiority Complex to all in need. BBB - and anyone else not feeling, ahem, on top form - this bit is tough tough tough TOUGH. Ignore anything written in the babymags (it's all by people like me who are doing it through gritted teeth thinking only of the cheque) and rest assured that (a) it's OK to feel not brilliant (b) if it is really bad, there are ways to get help (c) this bit passes. Honestly.

The Bean growth spurt continues.... So much for "feeds" - I am now not only an all day buffet but an all-you-can-eat one too. Managed to have my breakfast at 3pm after spending the morning and early afternoon trying to catch on up sleep missed from last night's feeding frenzy (inbetween feeds of course). Dp took Bean out in the end so I could have a couple of hours kip. That boy has the smell of milk in his nostrils and there ain't no escape at the moment....

Btw, have heard from Piglit. Her PC is broken so she can't log on but says a big "hello" to y'all

Well I have to say all seems better here when i'm not the only adult with 3 children and I have my own personal driver! Long may the weekend last

Hello ladies i am back temporily due to house move internet access is temporaily suspended. DD2 OK - still sleeping well at night if she is in our bed try her in her cot and she screams the house down. Florenceuk what are we going to do? I left her for 15 minutes on Fri and there was no way she was going to sleep. Still I will keep trying - although it is putting dp off trying for George (with 2 girls the third one is going to be a boy) - not that I an planning another one yet you understand! she is also cries at lot at night between 7-11pm. She now weighs 10lbs 4oz at a month old and has stared cooing at everybody.

However, everything else is fine. House is lovely, neighbours are lovely and baby massage going well although dd doesn't like her tummy and chest being done.

Anyway dp is cooked me dinner so must go. am missing you and your exploits so hopefully internet access will be resorted ASAP. Anwyay any words of wisdom about the sleeping problem would be gratefully received.

Oh my. I've been so tired the last day or two that I daren't drive. You know that thing where you loss the sense of size, stuff like how big the car is, how big that gap is, important stuff like that?

I've been doing a LOT of crying. Am trying to get the baby to go to sleep without a dummy, she is currently wailing. Am now beginning to wonder what was so bad about it after all, although I do remember really.

My turn to go and shh and pat. See you.

Hi Toots - glad you like my long posts, that makes me feel better! Just a quickie this time (although I always start typing thinking that), haven't had much time to post recently and am supposed to be having 'adult' time and watching a video with dh at the mo'. Got really achy shoulders though and now is first opportunity all day to use my massage machine, which only works on the chair in front of the computer! It's a wonderful invention I have to say!

Everyone seems to be having a tough time at the moment. I think these early weeks are just soooo hard. I'm feeling relatively upbeat this evening as we've just had visitors today and having people around always makes me feel better. Although it means that every week I desperately ring up everyone I know and invite myself round or them round to try and fill up enough time that I don't get too down in the dumps (think I had some pnd last time and get really scared of going same way again).

Is anyone into any of the parenting books by the way? I used a bit of GF with my first dd - didn't follow it to the letter but used some of her principles. I've now just bought the Baby Whisperer and spent all of the last week reading it. Anyone else read it or using it - what do you think if so? There are techniques in there for getting babies to sleep in their cots rather than on you without using controlled crying (IF you actually want to that is).

Hi all - sorry not been around - monkey is now 2 weeks old and everytime I think we have found a rountine she goes and changes it ! Have left her with Dh watching the football at the moment.
Am with you all about the post c-sections - am going round the bend slightly as the only place that I can walk to is the post box which lets face it is less than exciting!
Have also got rid of parent and in-laws yesterday (here for a week) so feel like me,dh and monkey are finally the family that we dreamed of.
She has been a different baby since we moved to expressing into bottles and feeding her that way - [very quietly says that she is sleeping from 12am - 6am] but is awake most of the day feeding every 2-3 hours.
Glad to hear that everyone is surviving the first weeks and will be back on more frequently to swap tips and updates.
Loving this parenting lark !!!

just tried to catch up on everyone's news and haven't been able to post due to the amazing demands a newborn baby can put on you. Some times I wonder if I am coping? I never thought I would be a paranoid mother but my God everything that happens worries the crap out of me. She has been sick quite a bit today, a bit more than posseting but not vomiting her entire feed either. My breasts don't seem to be filling up as they did earlier and now I don't seem to have enough milk which is really p'ing me off as I have now resorted to a few formula feeds in the evening and it's made me feel a little sad.

I find myself in tears most days but know that it's an adjustment period and I am truly happy with my gorgeous daughter.

I can't wait to find some time to catch up on everyone's news and hope that we can eventually meet in person soon?

Turtle, it's natural for your breasts not to feel as full esp if your little one is feeding lots, but my guess is that you are still probably producing enough milk. A formula feed in the evening is fine if you're happy with it, but check with your midwife or hv to see if you really really need it if you're unhappy. There is lots of good advice on the breastfeeding threads as well about low milk production - fenugreek is supposed to help. Or you could try expressing to try and build up supply as in GF's book.

On the minus side I had a nightmare night because DD wouldn't settle - I think she has a cold and is all snuffly and snotty. Cue lots of thrashing about and screaming in bed. Cazzybabs, I'm not going to worry too much about sleeping habits for a few weeks yet - DD's scream is so loud, I just can't bear it!

Distratcted, I did read GF and the Baby Whisperer last time round, and gave both away after the first year. I have to admit, GF made me completely paranoid about sleeping and spacing out feeds, and this time round I am more relaxed, at least in the early stages.

Whoops DS calling - got to go.

Big hug for you Turtle [[[[[[hug]]]]]]]]]

The anxiety is monstrous, isn't it? And on top of the tiredness - oy, yoy, yoy!!! Please, please, please. You must look after yourself a bit. It doesn't matter if the baby cries for a few minutes while you finish making that cup of tea or taking that shower. I've been saying to myself 'I choose not to be stressed' if Mel is crying while I'm helping dd1 to butter her toast.

Here's what little I know, and all just my humble opinion.

Your breasts don't fill up in quite the same way - they do settle down. Take a deep breath and trust that the milk will be there if she needs it. BUT it will ONLY be there, if you get her to ask for it by feeding her. I know it's been said before, but if you replace feeds with formula, then your milk becomes less abudant. You sound exhausted though sweetheart. One way of protecting your supply but getting a bit of rest is to have dh give her one bottle of formula at a regular time the evening. Or try expressing. I was doing it three times a day, an ounce or so each time, after or during Mel's feed. But I am lazy. So I stopped, and now we're doing formula, and I am freeeeee from when Mel goes to bed at about 8 until the feed after next.

Please contact me by e-mail Turtle if you want to rant or need support

I seem to be looking more and more haggard with each passing day. Going to try and wean myself off the fat and sugar and start eating better. Always said I'd do that when dd2 got to six weeks, which she is, tomorrow!!!