Sleep deprivation

[Cait73]

My gs goes to bed 6pm no problems 🙌🏼

But from 10pm he's up and down all night, it's 4am and he's still wide awake.

I'm getting 2 possibly 3 hours sleep a night I think I'm in and out of his room at least 10 times, I don't know what to do.

The days are a blur today I couldn't even get dressed (don't worry 15 month old was washed, dressed, fed 3 decent meals and bathed) I'm just a wreck 😣

At 15 months old can you just .. not go to him? I sleep trained mine around 9 months. Was hard but he sleeps through no problems now.

Have you tried putting him to bed later. I used to try to put dd to bed at 7.30 and she's been up for the day by 1. She just wasn't tired enough to sleep for long. Changed it to 9/10 and she went to sell easily and slept all night

If I don't put him to bed at 6 he climbs the stairs himself, if he wasn't ready to sleep he wouldn't but he goes straight down

He's lived with me since he was 9 months old I too "sleep trained" him but he has issues (it's complicated) so please don't make ME feel like a failure because I've not "trained" him

Could you try sleeping in his room? Or him sleeping in your room?

You mentioned he has issues - could these be playing into him thinking you are not there at night maybe? (Not saying you're not or anything like that just wondering if he has worries that are keeping him awake)

He's lived with me since he was 9 months old I too "sleep trained" him but he has issues (it's complicated) so please don't make ME feel like a failure because I've not "trained" him

If you actually want accurate and helpful advice then things like this should go in your Op and you should expand. Not be rude to the posters trying to help.

@WhoWhereWhy it's possible because it is as if he's just wanting to check I'm there, I can't sleep in his room as I had to dismantle the bed to fit his cot in and I've tried taking him into my bed but he just causes havoc, starts by playing with my face, pulling my hair then he moves down the bed and does the same to the dog before crashing back up to the top to bounce on my head

@Fedhimtotigers to go into detail would go onto about 14 pages, most people would have lost interest by the 4th line

Either way it's not very helpful to just put I had mine sleep trained at 9 months, excellent for you!!

That's not what she said. Sleep training is a valid suggestion for somebody moaning that their baby isn't sleeping.
You could've said thank you, unfortunately that won't work. Not be rude.

We aren't psychic. And nobody is going to waste time making suggestions that can't possibly work for your situation if you can't be arsed to explain it.

@Cait73
Could you maybe leave one of your tops in his cot - So the smell of you is still there incase he does wake up?

Maybe move his cot into your room if it will fit? Just for a short time so he can learn that you aren't going anywhere

massive sympathy my almost 2 year old wakes up and drinks twice a night still (and no we haven't sleep trained). I do remember at 16 months we brought her into our bed because she was waking and staying awake for ages, maybe it's a sleep regression; not that that helps.

@Fedhimtotigers do forgive me I've had about 6 hours sleep THIS WEEK I save all my patience for the baby, would have been nice if you'd considered this

@WhoWhereWhy yes I'll give that a go tonight, thank you 🙏🏼

@blablablablablablabla definitely sleep regression of sorts and I know it'll pass but sitting here crying by myself night after night just feels utterly exasperating

And you think I'm up at 5 am for shits and giggles. I would love to help. I'm up with baby number 3. I've never sleep trained.
But to offer advice you could actually explain the situation.

Hi, I never had a problem with mine sleeping, but I do know what severe sleep deprivation is like, so I sympathise with you on that score. I had years of the amount of sleep you're getting. About your Gs, what about him going to bed later? He's must also be picking up on you're stress. These things soon become a vicious cycle and when you're tired you can't think clearly enough to find the way out of it. Also, make sure he's not hungry. Start by doing the obvious things. Calm atmosphere, different routine. Also, I don't know if you're doing it, but until he's in a better routine, get yourself some sleep as soon as he's gone to sleep. Then you've immediately bumped yours up. I'm not sure how old he is, but if you keep going in there and he's awake and happy it's probably become like a game to him. He's not bothered!

I see you said he's climbing the stairs himself. I would 1, get your sleep up as much as possible to give you the strength to start implementing a new routine. 2, that is to prevent him from going upstairs and keeping him awake longer. Do it bit by bit, say 30 min until you get it another couple of hours ahead. Then get your extra sleep in. Hopefully things will smooth out. I never had to do it, and I know some people don't agree, but if all else fails you might have to let him cry it out. Probably best to do that gradually too if it comes to it. Also, depending on how old he is tire him out.

Sounds hard, OP. Does he nap? At that age my dd was just starting to drop to one nap around 12-2 I think or maybe slightly later. And bedtime was 7ish. That routine seemed to help. But other things might be making it more difficult for your gs. Could it be separation anxiety? I did find my dd had phases of being up in the night for a few hours at a time before going back to sleep, which was rough. Could be developmental too. Or overtired. So naps definitely help with that.

Hi OP - sympathies, my daughter is the same age and sleep has always been a battle. The sleep deprivation is torture.

What are his naps like? My DD was waking a lot at night, so we dropped down to one nap in the middle of the day at it seems to have helped. I think they're learning and changing so much at this age that they find it very hard to switch off. The only other thing I can suggest is to really fill him up before bed. We've taken to giving our daughter a bowl of porridge before bed, and that seems to have helped too, but it could just be a coincidence!

Good luck, I hope you get the chance for some peace and rest.

Is he napping? Overtired kids can lead to more wake ups. Is he possibly teething? Can you make a floor bed in his room for yourself, if he's in his bed playing with a cuddly toy least you can get a bit of rest on the floor. I got big sleep improvements at that age when my lo started going to bed with a cuddly toy.

He naps 1.5 to 2 hours a day 😊

He's young for his age (due to previous neglect) which is also why I spoil him, that and I'm his Nanna not his Mum, it's a difficult situation and I can't bear the thought of him being unhappy - but I think I've taken it too far and made a rod for my own back

For reasons I'd rather not go into I had to check on him every 2 hours for the first 2 months, after that he slept through 6pm to 6/7am.

The waking up started about a month ago with just a hello twice a night but it's got longer and more frequent.

Sorry for being grouchy, being a child "in the care system" I'm questioned ALL the time I feel like I'm constantly being tested

To me it sounds like he sees the 6pm sleep as like a second nap. What time does he nap in the day? Anyway of pushing that back so you could make bed time a bit later? Or do two shorter naps rather than 1 long one.

Sympathies OP - I have two DS who have developmental delays and 1 is a terrible sleeper. Both dropped naps much later than their peers and my youngest is only now at 4 getting into a pattern.

Do you have any support as you mentioned there may be some SEN issues? Our health visitor referred us to see the paediatrician which eventually led to support.

@Bobbybobbins I think you're probably right he's on his second nap! Typically he'll nap 11-12:30

I'll try my hardest to delay his bedtime, I tried last night and after retrieving him from the stairs several times he just lay on the front room floor he wouldn't engage in story's or anything, but I'll delay everything dinner bath the lot

Support is a bit of a joke right now, partly because I've been treated appallingly by ss and party due to lockdown we've been to court twice and while I was awarded temporary custody we haven't got our final hearing 'till July 😳

Definitely try pushing that nap back later in 15 minute chunks until you get ideally to a 1pm - 3pm nap time. Then you can hopefully look for a 7pm bedtime and a longer stretch.

I think you've answered alot of the problem in your post at 8.30. Maybe have a shift mentally that you'll treat him as if you are his mum and not nana. Would that work? Nana's usually do let things slip, but when it's the odd stay over it doesn't matter. Also, you're probably over compensating for the situation, and maybe seeing any form of discipline as wrong. What started off as you say going in twice a night has got more and more. From his point of view none of it's important, and he sees it as good fun. It's become a habit, and don't feel bad because I think you can do it in such a way he won't know any different. Sounds like you're doing a great job btw.