Absolutely panic I've done weaning all wrong!

[SuperSunFlower]

I have a 11 month old DD, it's been a struggling feeding her food, started at 6 months, had a few months of little success but prevailed and now she's eating lots which is great.

I'm starting to think about weaning off formula and bottles when she's over a year. In the process of researching that I'm looking at trying to get her to eat more veg etc..... I've realise from my reading that I'VE DONE EVERYTHING WRONG!! I'm in an absolute panic. She starts nursery in a month everyone will think I'm a terrible mum!

Some of the ways I've been terrible:
-she has all meals and snacks in her highchair. I didn't like the mess she made in the living room.
-I discouraged her grabbing and "doing" the spoon herself, I always feed her. She doesn't use the spoon at all.
-everyday I spoon feed her half a jar of 7+baby food at lunch.
-to give her the jar at lunch I give her baby crisps to feed herself, so I can feed her with the spoon in between. She will only allow me to spoon feed her if she's also eating with her hands.
-I don't offer much veg because she doesn't seem to like it. I don't offer it as much as I should be.

Good things I think:
-she is great at eating with her hands, she can pick up half a blueberry!
-loves fruit, after lunch and dinner I give as much as she likes until she looses interest.

Have I ruined the next few years of eating. I'm a crap cook and not eat a varied diet myself. How do I start to fix it? Please help.

This sounds totally fine. Nursery will get her eating more veg and with a spoon! :)

All those things sound fine!! Don’t worry!

You sound EXACTLY like me. My DS is 7mo and only eats in his high chair. He is spoon fed and only has finger foods at lunch time.

He has no problem trying different foods and textures and is able to feed himself finger foods too.

In regards to vegetables, go with the sweet ones and mix them with the not so sweet. So carrots and green beans. Parsnips and cauliflower. Sweet potato and brocolli. The sweetness resembles fruit.

Don't beat yourself up! I am feeding my child the way I was fed as a child.

We always ate at the table. So no different to my son always eating in his highchair. I personally think it instills a bit of manners, I cringe when I see kids wondering around eating. We don't do it as adults so why we allow kids to do it is beyond me.

My HVs face was a picture when I told her I wouldn't be doing BLW.

At the end of the meal, it is signified by handing my son the empty spoon which he then navigates to his mouth and inevitably chews . 😂😂

Do what is right for you and your child.

Don't worry! She's fine.

Give her some finger foods instead of the lunch time jar if she prefers to feed herself. Start with the vegetables now! Better late than never. Par boiled broccoli is easy to hold, carrot battons, cucumber, avocado.

Any food that requires a spoon, use two! One for her and one for you.

Eat together, she will watch and copy what you do. Eating is a social time. Also, the high chair is fine!

Thank you! Just feel I've been totally lazy even though it's been really hard to even get to this stage. I see the Instagram mums/nutritionist that make it look so easy. I don't make a lot from scratch and the snacks from the baby section are so convenient.

I fail to see what your doing 'wrong'

Curious. What is the issue with only eating in high chair? That's what we do too.

Why is it bad to feed in a high chair?

'My HV's face was a picture when I told her I wouldn't be doing BLW'

Really!? I can honestly say I couldn't care less if a parent told me that. As long as you are feeding your baby appropriately why would I!? I have families with actual problems where children are at such high risk of harm who keep me up at night, you not doing BLW wouldn't even enter my mind!! Honestly!

@SuperSunFlower you don't see behind the scenes of the Instagram marvels. They only see what they want you to see .

I also buy the baby snacks, but like pp have said, just steam some veggies for lunch.

I'm intrigued about the high chair as well. Where else would a baby eat?

I am assume she probably won’t be going to nursery next month so I wouldn’t panic too much about that.

What do you think you have done wrong? What is wrong with the high chair? I’m sure DS used one when he first went to nursery.

What do you normally eat?

We didn’t do BLW, wasn’t such a thing when DS was a baby. We started him off on purées and used to spoon feed him. He is the least fussy eater of everyone I know.

Yep. She was really judgemental. Told me his pincer reflex wouldn't develop and he would become a fussy eater.

I told her I was spoon fed and my pincer reflex is fine, and the only thing I won't eat is blue cheese.

Soon shut her up. She absolutely should worry about those who need it.

😂😂😂

My nursery have "cafe style" snacks and meals. Also baby's come to the little table themselves 🙄. I assume the staff help them if required and encourage utensils. Not sure what they do for young baby's who can't sit up.
I'm feeling reassured from your comments, I'm going to start anew tomorrow. It's my weekly supermarket outing day (actually excited to leave the house 🤣) so I'm going to pick up some of the sweeter veggies (thanks to the pp for suggestion) to get me started. Start giving her a spoon as well.

I’m also very intrigued about the high chair. Where else are babies meant to eat?

I'm a NHS worker finishing mat leave so she will be going, thankful I get a settling in session in a few weeks too

I thought everyone else was doing snacks on the floor tbh maybe irrational....
I know it's small in all the stuff that's going on and yes she eats well with her hands, lots of meat and fruits so I should be thankful. I might be concentrating my worry on the things I can get control over rather than what will be waiting for me at work

I'm on baby number three and it all sounds ok to me. It's good to let them feed themselves but the baby isn't ever one, it's not like you've been spoon feeding her for 18 years! Just let her have a go from now on, you can start immediately if you like.

As to the highchair - I'm not sure what the alternative is? None of mine could really sit on a normal dining seat at that age, so what else should you do?

I wouldn't worry about it, my first literally barely ate anything at all before he was one, he just refused. He's a great eater now and doesn't seem to have suffered.

Nursery won't be bothered either.

You’re doing nothing wrong. My baby would be beside himself with starvation if I didn’t shovel it in at the speed of light. He likes to use the spoon but only once he’s full. Also eats in his high chair and I do give him finger foods to play with and eat to go with his spooned in meals. He’s fine and happy.

I saw joe wicks pack shop bought baby snacks in his holiday travel bag so they’re not all making home made avocado and lentil bakes.

Butternut squash roasted is lovely! So try that too.

Im confused by the high chair issue, my 15 months old has always been fed in a high chair, at nursery they have little chairs that he is strapped it.

He doesnt use a spoon yet, im sure he will soon but nothings been mentioned at nrusery about it.

Yeah our nursery has self serve 'cafe' style stuff, but not for 11 month olds! My three and four year olds are fed that way but my eldest couldn't walk til he was 18 months, so was hardly going up to fetch a snack. They feed the little ones in high chairs.

Thus is an 'outstanding' nursery by the way.

Some tips and tricks:

• you can boil veg in the microwave in a bowl of water so you don't have to do a full pan. Use it to soften hard veg like carrot sticks if you like
• to make mashed potato, stab it and cook it in the microwave until squishy, then scoop out the middle. Mix with mushy peas for a healthy veggie meal that's quick. You can add grated cheese if you like, too.

-picky plates are good. If you've got one of those plates with dividers, you can do cheese cubes in one, cut up cucumber or tomato or similar in another and toast squares or something in the third. Easy to do and lets them experience a variety of textures. I tend to do a veg, a protein and a carb

• oatcakes are quite good for a pre-packaged finger snack, but don't overdo it because they have a bit of salt in.

-yoghurts can be good. Little yeos are all natural yoghurt with fruit- no added sugar, preservatives, flavours or colours

• eggs make a nice snack if you boil them and chop them into quarters or do a cheesy peasy omelette with them. They can form the protein part of your picky plate.
• pasta spirals are often a winner, with their a cheese sauce or simple tomato (fry an onion, add a tin of chopped tomatoes, some basil or mixed herbs and add grated cheese at the end).

The NHS weaning website has lots of simple ideas to get you started. It's good that you're thinking about how you can eat healthily together- for now, most of her nutrition comes from her milk, but a good diet is better for you and for baby in the long term.

Sorry just caught up. Snacks on the floor?! Not in my house, nor in my friends houses. All the babies I know have a high chair.

You are doing fine, totally fine, don't panic.

I don't believe in feeding babies anywhere but a highchair. That's the place to eat! Give her a spoon to play with whilst feeding and she will copy you after a while. There might be a bit of mess but easily cleaned. I used to put a plastic sheet under highchair that caught all the mess. Let her explore the feel of a spoon. Don't do it all for her. Allow her to learn from you. They will copy you! Good luck and don't fret so much. X