10 week old hysterical at bath/bedtime

[York97]

Hi, my 10 week old daughter has suddenly started screaming during our bedtime routine. She is exclusively bf and only takes one bottle of ebm before bed, so my partner can get involved in the night routine.

We start the routine around 7pm each night by taking her up for a bath, she loved the bath for a few weeks and would smile throughout, however as soon as in the bath recently shes started to scream constantly until dressed afterwards. Then we move her to the bedroom which is already dark and set up with her white noise machine, put her into her sleeping bag and give her a bottle, once starting the bottle she will start to scream hysterically again, and take an extremely long time to take the bottle.

We’ve tried various things to get her to enjoy the bath again, warmer, deeper, cooler, shallower, with me in the bath, nothing is seeming to get her back to enjoying it.

She will eventually take the bottle after screaming periods between each few sucks, and eventually go down in her Moses basket, but it is a good half hour or more of hysterical screaming where she can’t catch her breath before she will settle.

I will add that once down in her Moses basket she wakes various times through the night but I will bf her and she will go straight down in her basket, and even if she wakes once in the basket she can often put herself back to sleep, we are just struggling with the initial bedtime put down.

As this wasn’t always the case, could I have some advice on how to get her to enjoy bath/bedtime again? Thanks

Maybe she's overtired?

Try the whole thing an an hour/half hour earlier.

Firstly, she's probably overtired if you are starting the bath at 7pm, could you move it forward? We tried to do bath at 6 and asleep by 7 which worked for us.

At 10 weeks though, she really doesn't need a strict routine at bedtime, especially one that she is clearly telling you she doesn't like.

Could your DH get involved by doing bath time whilst you do something else?

You could always BF her after her bath, especially if that settles her.

If you want to continue with the bottle, could your DH get her up in the morning and give it then so that they get to know one another whilst you have a lie in get ready for the day?

We tried starting it when she is happier at 6pm, but still the same result of screaming. Also doesn't seem to make a difference if she naps at 4pm for her last nap or 6pm, the result is unfortunately the same?

Is she getting cold in between getting undressed and the bath? Could be that it’s a weird time of year, not cold enough to have the heating on but not warm enough.

She doesn't need a bath every day. I'd leave it for a bit and give her good washes in the day. Baths could be in the morning. My son screamed all through getting dry as he was so desperate for his milk and bed, he stopped breathing he screamed so much. We tried moving the bath earlier but it made no difference but thankfully he never stopped breathing again and we learnt to dry him quickly.

What’s bedtime like if you don’t bath her?
Some children prefer baths in the morning so perhaps she just doesn’t like it.
Have you tried breastfeeding her at bedtime? If so does it help? At this age I’d be inclined to do whatever she needs to settle so if that means a bf instead of a bottle then that’s what I’d do.
Like pp said you could try the bottle for another feed

Try a flannel over her in the bath

DS used to be the same, I just started doing baths in the morning and he was much happier. Maybe try a different time of day? 10 weeks is young to be understanding routine etc, so if it's not working at the moment for you dont feel like you have to stick to bath before bed.

Is she screaming from pain? Like colic? The bottle would make that worse. My second had it but he was fine in the day, it would only happen in the evening.
Otherwise I would stop the baths if the baby is screaming from them every night. Babies don't need daily baths.

Thanks everyone.

She seemed to love the bath/bed routine to begin with, I understand she's young for a proper routine, but as she enjoyed to start with I wonder if there was any way to get her back into this, I feel the routine itself has helped her sleep better through the night so I am reluctant to stop.

My DH does also get involved in the bath time too, and I've also tried to settle with bf but still seems to scream also.

Tonight we tried to just top and tail her and see if it was the actual bath she didn't like, but still screaming.

The only thing I can see that is different from when she enjoyed it to when she's screamed is the warmer weather, so maybe like one said temperature is awkward.

Will definitely try and skip the bottle and see if it is that causing an issue too.

I will try without the bath for the next few nights though and see how she goes, or if it is just an evening thing that’s started.

I don’t believe it’s colic as it’s not an issue anywhen else, will soon see if it continues without the bath and bottle.

Definitely avoid the bath if that seems to set her off - she really won’t be dirty! If it’s to signal to her that it’s wind down time try singing the same song instead each night, or playing the same lullaby, and have a look at “awake times” for her age to see if that helps.

We’ve never done baths every night - as a small baby my DS had them weekly and even now as a toddler only 2 or 3 a week or as needed if he’s gotten himself very muddy outside. I know many like doing it as a bedtime routine, but I’ve never understood how all that playing and splashing (or in your case screaming because she doesn’t like it) can be classed as ‘winding down’.So what I’m saying is - is it really worth the daily hassle right now? Babies don’t have to have baths everyday so if it’s causing you all grief I wouldn’t fight this battle.

Don't bother with bath before bedtime. Neither of mine liked a bath before bed and they always slept terribly the nights when they'd had a bath before bed. I always gave them a bath in the morning. Also, they don't need a bath every day at that age. It's not good for their skin.

Has she always taken the bottle? I'm also thinking she's probably wanting comfort from the breast after getting upset with the bath.

I wouldn't push routine too much at this age. Neither of mine had any particular kind of routine around bed this young and both started sleeping through around 3 months, although they were formula fed.

We used to do half the bottle before bath so she wasn’t starving, then the other half after. Also moved bath time earlier if needed to avoid overtiredness. She’s been brilliant with her bedtime routine from very early on, but did have the odd screaming phase every now and then.

My son was exactly the same. I used to give him a little bit of milk before his bath and then the rest when we got out. I think it was just over tiredness/ being ready for milk and bed. He used to be asleep by the end of the bottle! We also got a small fan heater that we put in the bathroom 10 mins before bathtime which helped alot

I’m aware that she doesn’t need to be bathed everyday, and that she doesn’t need a routine everyday, however we started it and she enjoyed it for a few weeks and this is why it was continued, all three of us seemed to enjoy the family time at the end of the day which is what I enjoyed.

However I have decided to skip the bath for a while, and see what change this has, but also skip the bottle if still having issues.

I’m going with the flow for the rest of the day, feeding when she wants to feed and sleeping when and how long she wishes, this was the only part of the day that was structured in any sort of way so will have to just let that go too haha

@AndddddHerewegoagain that's a good suggestion with the heater, could try this if we decide to continue the bath!

That time of the evening does seem like peak time for colic related screaming.

Have you tried making the bath a little warmer? My DD’s enjoyment of baths improved massively when the bath was much warmer.

Sorry my post crossed with your update!

Hey!

I would suggest what previous posters have said and bath her earlier. We had to do that too as our son would be wide awake after a bath!

I, like you, implemented a bedtime routine very early in my sons like (8 weeks) and I found that it helped him sleep better and also helped me to feel a little more in control in what is a very uncontrollable situation! Which helped my mentality and my ability to relax. You're doing a great job!

I’m going with the flow for the rest of the day, feeding when she wants to feed and sleeping when and how long she wishes, this was the only part of the day that was structured in any sort of way so will have to just let that go too haha

That all sounds pretty standard to me OP - there’ll be many more occasions when you’ll think you have cracked some kind of routine and then your DC will just suddenly have other ideas or just other or new needs. Flexibility is key the best routines will be the ones that you kind of just fall into by following her cues.

@Ilovethekittehs it's definitely helped her sleep better, regardless of the screaming, I was up every hour prior to this, now she'll go 4-5 hours first, then 2 hourly til morning. So I really hope taking out the baths not going to change this!! It definitely helps me feel more structured!

@Pinkblueberry that's very true, going with her flow it is then!

Babies change very quickly. Just because initially she enjoyed it, doesn't mean she would enjoy it forever, and she clearly isn't at the moment. There's no point in having a distressed baby for any longer than needed. I'm not sure why you would want to persiver with something that is causing stress to you and the baby. So as determined as you are to keep up with the routine, it's probably best to stop doing them every night. But less stressful for everyone.

All my babies hated baths but loved showers certainly easier if you have a partner one of us would hop I. And sort ourselves out and then when ready call for baby and they just snuggle up on chest and honestly settled them right down. Possibly would work with one of those very low pressure showers though.