10 week old hysterical at bath/bedtime

[York97]

Hi, my 10 week old daughter has suddenly started screaming during our bedtime routine. She is exclusively bf and only takes one bottle of ebm before bed, so my partner can get involved in the night routine.

We start the routine around 7pm each night by taking her up for a bath, she loved the bath for a few weeks and would smile throughout, however as soon as in the bath recently shes started to scream constantly until dressed afterwards. Then we move her to the bedroom which is already dark and set up with her white noise machine, put her into her sleeping bag and give her a bottle, once starting the bottle she will start to scream hysterically again, and take an extremely long time to take the bottle.

We’ve tried various things to get her to enjoy the bath again, warmer, deeper, cooler, shallower, with me in the bath, nothing is seeming to get her back to enjoying it.

She will eventually take the bottle after screaming periods between each few sucks, and eventually go down in her Moses basket, but it is a good half hour or more of hysterical screaming where she can’t catch her breath before she will settle.

I will add that once down in her Moses basket she wakes various times through the night but I will bf her and she will go straight down in her basket, and even if she wakes once in the basket she can often put herself back to sleep, we are just struggling with the initial bedtime put down.

As this wasn’t always the case, could I have some advice on how to get her to enjoy bath/bedtime again? Thanks

Overtired. As they get older and take on board more things they get overwhelmed and over stimulated. My eldest dd suddenly started doing that at a similar age. I'd bath just 2 or 3 times a week for now?

@Wewearpinkonwednesdays I understand that, and obviously don’t want her distressed for no reason. We haven’t just been carrying on the bath without trying to figure out what it is, I have tried to change things each time to see if there is a specific thing she didn’t like which we could rectify before stopping it all together. The post was for suggestions to see if there was anything I may be missing that she isn’t enjoy that I could change and make it enjoyable for her again.

@MsMeNz didn’t think of trying a shower, thank you for the suggestion I may give this a go!

@IdblowJonSnow I did think this but kind of unsure as she could have napped for an hour right before and still end up with the same result, but was admittedly the main thing I thought of! Thank you will try no bath then maybe try 2 or 3 a week again after a while

There really is no routine at ten weeks. If she's screaming it's not working, just react to her rather than trying to get her to fit a schedule.

The post was for suggestions to see if there was anything I may be missing that she isn’t enjoy that I could change and make it enjoyable for her again.

No there probably isn't, she just doesn't like it anymore. Babies are strange creatures. You have been carrying on with the bath routine, just changing it around a bit. Nothing wrong with that but probably just wasted time and effort.

Have you heard of the witching hour? At around this age my son used to scream from 8 o clock on the dot for up to two hours. Didn't matter what we did I couldn't stop it. It stopped after a (very very very long) few weeks.

He did later end up having CMPA and I have always wondered if it was connected, but have heard so many other people talk of the witching hour and they didn't have CMPA so who knows.

I think at this age they suddenly get more alert and are properly tired at the end of the day. My son went really ratty in the evening at this age. You say you are going with the flow in the day which is what I did but I did have a few things in place that seemed to help particularly with making sure they didn't get overtired. The first is the first nap, they are often ready for this so early in the day ( like an hour or less after they wake up) . Have a look at the baby whisperer for how long a baby that age can be awake, I always found it really helpful. My son never slept for as long as she said, but if I tried to get him to sleep after the wake time she had as a guideline it always worked.
I think it will settle though, they just keep changing,

My DS always went through phases of liking and not liking things and I’d drive myself crazy trying to figure him out. He loved his bath, hated it for a while, then loved it again, then was fussy, now he loves it (he’s 1) and has done for months. It seems to just follow his development really. We cracked that and then there would be something or other else that he didn’t like that he used to love. I think you can tie yourselves up trying to work them out.
Anyway, we always fed him before the bath as he had reflux (and I never wanted him to fall sleep on the bottle) but without doubt every single time we took him out of the bath (whether he was in a love it or hate it phase) he’d scream blue murder through getting dressed. I just tried to get it done as quickly as possible and get him in his cot (we tried everything, there is literally nothing we didn’t try, including not bathing him, until we realised that he just wanted to be put down in the dark silence to sort himself out) and once down (at 6.30pm) he’d cry for a minute, then grumble for 5 minutes, and then nod off. He sleeps through.
He’s 1 and still a bit fussy between bath and bed but he’ll let us read a story now and he likes a little cuddle.
I think the fact that I read so much about a relaxing bed time routine with lullabies and stories and massage and baby bonding time etc etc and my expectations were really high but my boy just would not tolerate any of that nonsense 🤣

Mine would sleep through if they had an afternoon walk, there's something different in afternoon air apparently. Tbf they were older than ten weeks though but something to think about.

Don’t rule out colic. My DD used to scream every evening about that time with colic. She wasn’t bothered by it during the day.

I always found my DS decided how every stage was going to go himself and nothing I did ever helped! He just did things when he was ready. At that age we had no routine, he only got bathed maybe twice a week max and never at bedtime. I found when he got tired the window to get him to bed was almost instant, if I tried to draw it out with any sort of routine he screamed and screamed. He just wanted put straight in his cot with white noise and a dummy.

You will drive yourself mad trying to figure out why your baby doesnt like something anymore, or why they slept through the night once and then not again...just go with the flow and if your DD isnt enjoying her bath anymore just stop it for a while and see how it goes. You'll think you've cracked it and then it'll all change again for no discernible reason. Some babies don't want or need a routine imposed on them, routines are more for us parents I think.

@York97 don't worry about the bath = her sleeping through. Her waking more often at the moment will be because of her crying before bed as it releases the stress hormone in their little bodies and we all know that you don't sleep as well when stressed.

Follow her qs and see where it takes you, you are doing a fab job and fingers crossed for some peaceful sleep for you all