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Parenting

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Original poster

DD2 has fallen out with me because she has to have train tracks - what shall I say to her??

80 replies

Wisteria · 13/09/2007 12:30

She's fallen out with me because at the Orthodontist this morning, he told her she needed 4 teeth out and train track braces for 2 years. Then the stupid eejit of a man said it was up to her and she didn't have to have them if she didn't want them!! you would imagine that dealing with children every day would give him some idea of what not to say, wouldn't you?

Anyway I've told her she has to have them now and not wait etc because I know that she's better off getting it out of the way, not when she's 15/16 (she's 11 btw) so now she's not talking to me

How can I get her to appreciate that she will thank me in 2 years time? Can't stand it when she's cross with me cos I am pathetic I know!

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Original poster

Wisteria · 13/09/2007 12:57

Sorry I'll rephrase what he said, he wasn't implying they weren't bad enough by any means.

'You don't have to have them now you can think about it, can even wait a few years if you like, or you could keep your crooked teeth for years and years, but you'll regret it'.

There are other probs as well, don't understand it all but she would have problem teeth for the rest of her life if she didn't sort it out.

They must be bad to be free, my other dds teeth are fairly crooked but not bad enough for NHS treatment which I was really surprised at.

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WendyWeber · 13/09/2007 12:58

Wisteria, I have put an after pic on my profile but because we didn't have a digital camera before I can't find a downloaded pic that will show in detail what his teeth were like. Anyway I'll have a rummage through old photos and see if I can find one to scan in.(He won't thank me for putting this one on, he is not at all photogenic but his teeth are gorgeous now)

Anyway his incisors came in one behind the other and his canines were right up at the top of his gums; he had to have baby teeth and adult teeth out and at one point had 8 teeth out at once leaving him with 2 visible front teeth and huge gaps either side - not pretty.

He also had to have the arch-stretching thing that was widened with a quarter-turn key every day, and also later some hooks which had tiny rubber bands stretched over them every night to make his lower jaw line up properly with the top one.

The orthodontist started seeing him when he was about 9, because DS1 was already in treatment so I took DS2 along to show her how awful his were - we were v lucky there.

Original poster

Wisteria · 13/09/2007 12:58

She's very good with pain on the whole - gets terrible migraines and isn't a whinger.

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Original poster

Wisteria · 13/09/2007 13:00

He's got lovely teeth now anyway Wendy, thank you and just don't tell him you put it on!

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WaynettaVonSlob · 13/09/2007 13:04

I ignored my mother when I was younger and didn't have them. From the age of 18+ I was really conscious of them, and eventually, aged 28 got train tracks. I was lucky cos was with DH by then, but wouldn't have fancied going on the pull while wearing them!!
Would she prefer to have them now, at an age when lots of people have them and probably won't pay any attention to them, or when she's older, and frankly look 'different' (and not always in a good way).

BTW - end result is fab!

Original poster

Wisteria · 13/09/2007 13:13

That's what I was telling her all the way back in the car Waynetta. It's hard for her I suppose because although I can see it's the right time for her to have them, she can't. She's not remotely concerned with what she looks like at the mo (really does get quite embarrassing at times ) and truly believes she never will care - oh the innocence of youth

I know she would end up doing what you had to do (brave you btw) so will probably print the is thread for her to read! (Well parts of it anyway....)

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berolina · 13/09/2007 13:19

I had 4 teeth out and train tracks, and (sorry) I still have rather wonky/prominent front teeth, despite my wearing the plastic mould thing you get after the train tracks for longer than recommended. However, I do assume they would have been much worse without. As it is, they're quirky rather than ugly.

And of course your dd has to have it done. You're the parent, she's 11.

Original poster

Wisteria · 13/09/2007 13:22

Don't be sorry berolina - I wanted a cross section of experience (not that I'll share it all with her obviously, I'm not that nice ).

To be honest, the way her teeth look at the moment, I'll be very surprised if they were ever absolutely straight but I would like to see them bite together and all come from the same line in her mouth IYSWIM. Quirky can be very attractive anyway, one of the biggest problems she has is cleaning them properly as they are so crooked so that needs addressing too.

OP posts:

loujay · 13/09/2007 13:22

My DH and I have both had issues with our teeth.
My Mum got train tracks for me and my teeth are straight.
Dh's mum didnt bother and 2 years ago, after an adulthood of hating his teeth, he got veneers.
He now has a beautiful smile (although i liked it anyway) and is far less self consious.
Your DD may (and probably will) hate you now but she will sing your praises for the rest of her life!!

Original poster

Wisteria · 13/09/2007 13:23

That ones going in lou - cheers

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suedonim · 13/09/2007 17:14

Three of my four have had orthodontic work and the fourth will need some eventually.

If I were in your position, Wisteria, I'd have a chat with dd (preferably in a public place like a cafe, so she's less likely to kick off!) laying out the pros and cons, and then leave it up to her. I am assuming that there's no particular reason it has to be done right now and your dd may well be much more amenable to the whole thing if she thinks she is the one making the decision.

But I agree with Custy, if she chooses not to have the work done then whinging about crooked teeth is absolutely not permitted!

southeatsastras · 13/09/2007 17:19

my ds(13) had them a couple of years ago. the difference is really worth it. it only really hurt him for a day or so, he got used to them quickly, and now just wears the removable ones at night.

(saving up now for son number 2)

pointydog · 13/09/2007 17:31

hmm, I've always made it clear that braces will just have to be put up with, if it comes to that.

Lots more kids do have braces now. Could you try and do a bit of brace-spotting together?

Be tough till she gets them, then be sympathetic. It's like having Edward Scissorhands in your gob.

pointydog · 13/09/2007 17:33

Actually, it does depend on the shape of your cheeks inside your mouth. I have very fat cheeks which push into my teeth, as does dd2.

Dh has a gob the size of a beach ball, as does dd1.

saggarmakersbottomknocker · 13/09/2007 17:44

Not read the whole thread (sorry that's crap really isn't it?)

My dd is just coming to the end of having braces - hopefully the train track will be gone next month and then she'll just have a while with the retainer.

It doesn't have to be really painful. dd had two extractions and wasn't too bad at all afterwards, just had paracetamol. I sat with her whilst she had them out and I think it was more painful for me. The brace has rubbed a little but it's been OK, and her teeth are quite sensitive to hot food.

The orthodontist has to give her the choice - basically because success of the treatment is reliant on them being co-operative long term and if they're not then it's a waste of time and money. When dd was having hers done we looked at a site with 'before' and 'after' pictures. Seeing them really brought it home to her. And also knowing that by the time boyfriends came along it would be over and done with.

Will read the thread now....

Original poster

Wisteria · 13/09/2007 17:51

She's home from school now and seems less cross and now quite resigned to the idea. Phew!

I can see where you're coming from about what the orthodontist said so thanks for that, understand now and normally I would let her make the decisions for herself but knowing how quickly they can change into mascara wearing dervishes at 13 still think it's better to get it out of the way! Going to go and make favourite dinner now while she can still eat 'pain free' .

She has to have the 4 teeth out anyway as they have already started to cause problems and then she'll look very odd if the braces don't go on so I guess Custy's original comment is the best and the one I will go with.....until she gets all the pain when I will miraculously morph into Florence Nightingale and sit at her side in devoted martyr-like Mum fashion with paracetamol and cool flannels on the forehead, clucking like a fussy chicken 'there there, Mummy knows .

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pointydog · 13/09/2007 17:55

oh it was agony when my wires were tightened. oh dear yes

WendyWeber · 13/09/2007 18:36

Ooooh, tell her not to do what DS2 did the first time he had extractions - he was tucked up on the sofa feeling sorry for himself and kept stroking his numb lip (because it felt funny ). By the time I knew anything about it his entire lip had swelled up to about 3 times its usual size

Fizzylemonade · 13/09/2007 20:37

My sister fell off her bike when she was 7 years old and you could get a 50p piece between her 2 front teeth and rattle it.

She had about 10 years worth of braces, train tracks, the ones on the insides etc and she had top ones done first then the bottom.

Her teeth look fantastic now. She used to suck ice cubes when she had them tightened and she had this weird stuff the best way I can decribe it is like those jelly sweets, it was clear and she could cut it up and mould it on any section of the brace that was rubbing her gums.

Original poster

Wisteria · 14/09/2007 14:50

Thank you all for the valued advice - will definitely remember the ice cubes and try to find out about jelly stuff, anyone else know about it?

Wendy- I did that to my lip after I knocked all my front ones off on a seesaw and had to have surgery - had quite forgotten, am now giggling....

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SpawnChorus · 14/09/2007 15:07

I haven't had time to read the whole thread (sorry), but just wanted to add that I totally regret having orthodontic work done when I was 12(ish). I had two teeth out and train tracks on my upper teeth. I particularly resent having the teeth removed, as I now have (small) gaps. My teeth have drifted mack to being slightly prominent, as they were before the orthodontic work.

I personally am not a fan of the 'American smile' and would much rather have kept my natural smile (at least until I was old enough to decide for myself).

So perhaps you could wait til she's a little bit older?

SpawnChorus · 14/09/2007 15:08

back not mack!

Original poster

Wisteria · 14/09/2007 15:09

Thanks spawn, all experiences are welcome but I don't think I want her to wait - vanity will kick in at some point and they really are quite bad.

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SpawnChorus · 14/09/2007 15:27

Hmmm yes it does partly depend on how bad they are I suppose, especially if they are sticking out so far that they are in danger of being knocked out.

I just feel that there's a certain amount of guesswork with orthodontics on children. In my case the dentist (IMO) guessed wrong, and unnecessarily removed two teeth.

Original poster

Wisteria · 14/09/2007 16:18

Not sticking out a la Essther Rantzen but just teeth where there shouldn't be any, all trying to grow on top of each other!

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