Coronavirus Ruining Maternity Leave

[HollyT89]

I'm so upset - I feel like the virus is ruining my maternity leave. My family and I have been lucky so far and we're all fit and healthy (other than my asthma), but I'm devastated that it looks that I won't be spending maternity leave with my first and only baby as I'd imagined (already 3 months in)
I'm trying to rationalise that it won't change things that much, but I can't help how I'm feeling.
Is anyone else feeling the same way?

OP, you echoed my thoughts exactly. Last night I felt very down thinking the same thing. It’s a tough time for everyone and I am fully aware that I am in a far more fortunate position than some people. I am determined to approach this nightmare with as much positivity as possible and still make it the best it can be under the circumstances....and try to help others along the way.

My baby is 5 weeks today and I feel exactly the same. I'm eternally grateful me, my boy and family are healthy and really do feel for those lives already lost. I'm devastated I cannot see my parents and niece and find this the hardest but lucky I have my husband who keeps me sane. I've been taking the baby for a walk every day just around the block and it does help my mental health and there is literally nobody out. All the people I come across actively make an effort to move out of the way or cross the road. Keep active, open your windows and try be positive. Xx

I have to say I'm really grateful I'm on maternity leave right now! I don't have to worry about my job (right now at least), I don't have to risk going out, money stays as it is, I don't have any of the childcare issues that are such a big problem for others, I get to cocoon with my gorgeous little baby, uninterrupted time with no pressure to do anything, and he lights up my life every single moment. You can still go out for walks and baby groups have gone online.

I understand this does mean things have changed for your mat leave a bit OP, but honestly, you could be in such a worse position. I'm actually a single mum with only grandparental help so I'm now looking at not even half an hour relief for the next however long, but still I feel I have so many positives compared to so many. I would try focussing on the upsides and what you do have rather than the ways in which life has been altered (which is for us much less than some).

That's a really nice way of putting it. You have cheered me up x

I am on maternity leave but I am so grateful I am not still pregnant, I really feel for those that have to give birth now.

Also those that are back at work juggling a 1 or 2 year old with working from home must find it really hard.

Try to focus on the positives, it really could be a lot worse.

My perspective has changed since I originally posted this. Thanks for all of your lovely messages and I hope that you're all staying safe.
Just enjoying the time with my baby and having my other half at home. I'm so lucky and fortunate compared to some of the awful situations I've been reading.
Stay positive, everyone. We're all in this together

Girls i am also on mat leave and feeling a little down about it all are you all aware there is a pettition going around to extend payed mat leave due to covid 19 ? I dont know how to do the link but you can find it on fb

There's nothing wrong with being a bit disappointed but you should probably just be grateful that your baby is safe at home.

I don't understand the petition - mat leave is to recover from birth and bond with your baby. There's nothing stopping us doing that during lockdown. In fact a lot of us will be getting more help as the dads are furloughed and WFH.

I’m a bit gobsmacked at that petition. As a PP says, the primary aim of maternity leave is to recover from the birth and to bond with your baby. Going for coffee with mum friends and to baby groups etc are nice to haves, but are certainly not essential to your baby’s development. Yes your maternity leave isn’t as you expected... life isn’t ‘as we expected’ for anyone at the moment. My children are missing months of their educations... that’s far more detrimental than a baby not going to a baby group.
I know a couple to nurses who have voluntarily returned from the maternity leave early so that they can help out on the front line

Who is expected to pay for this extended maternity leave whilst we’re in a global recession?

Before you all jump on me let me be clear i have not signed the pettition i am just making people aware its there.
My children are also missing there education and family as are everyone elses
And as for the comment about nhs nurses returning from mat leave i am also an nhs nurse who had a premature baby and 2 ashmatic children i am lucky that so far it isnt so bad in my area so i am not currently needed to return. If there comes a time that i am then i will have a choice to make.. please dont make assumptions not everyones circumstances are the same . I thought this was a platform for shareing feelings and infirmation not being belittled

My comments weren’t aimed at you Sharon0506, they were aimed more broadly at the premise behind the petition.

@YesThatIsMyRealName I didn't begin this thread weeks ago for people to belittle each other and use bad language. We've all said that we appreciate that there are people in much worse situations, but this is an outlet where we should feel we're able to share our reality and feelings.
If you find this thread offends you in some way, please leave, rather than attacking others.
Thanks.

@HollyT89 The thing about internet forums is that no one actually owns a thread, you know. If you post it, people will comment however they see fit and if you don't like it, you're also free to ignore.

OP I'm not on maternity leave but you're totally right to feel sad. This is awful for EVERYONE, but there are several groups of people who it's a particularly bum deal for, and people on maternity leave are on of them. Especially if you're on low/no pay. Hopefully your partner is working from home? That's the only silver lining that I can see.

I know how you feel. It's really sad. I know everyone is in the same boat but it doesn't stop you feeling a little bit cheated.

I spent my pregnancy looking forward to my ml and in June we were going to go on holiday and do so many things but no.

We can't help it. Not anyones fault. Just really saddening more because can't see family.

And I worry that even after this life won't be the same. I know it's selfish in a way, bit i worry my favourite places will have to close permanently like my favourite indie tea room. It is so much part of life, we'd go every week. Ate so much they're my baby is probably made up of their food and tea!

I worry about the new mums who have no weigh in clinics and health visitors. I worry so much i feel i can't even enjoy my time with her.

It's silly. But there it is...

Nothing wrong with admitting we feel sad that this is effecting our leave. It is sad, just can't be helped. Or babies will be ok though... i feel worse for those with older kids!

I would miss going to baby groups I suppose and going out for food. But otherwise a lot of my time during mat leave, which was this time two years ago, was spent chilling in the garden and walking the dog... so not that different to what we’re doing now. Family all live hours away so couldn’t visit much anyway. And at least DH would be working from home with not much to do at that - I’d quite happily be on maternity leave now.

I’m finding this maternity leave hard as I’d gone for a larger age gap so that my older child would be in nursery a few days a week. But that’s not happening now, so I have to look after the two of them alone all day without the help of going to a playgroup or round a friends house/grand parents. Breastfeeding constantly while trying to play with cars at the same time. There’s only so much TV I can give the eldest.

My fondest memories of maternity leave (I have 2 children) aren't the baby groups, but the times we spent together, just me and my babies on our own. Their little faces lighting up singing a special song, the games we played, the walks we went on.

My second child used to get really overwhelmed at baby groups and after a while, I realised we just didn't have to attend them. We still had a wonderful time together and played at home a lot.

There are some nice baby groups/classes through Youtube which I would use, to break up the day, but the only person your baby needs is you. They don't care about baby groups. My youngest is 2.5 now and he's happier than ever being at home with his family around him all the time.

It's rubbish but try and focus on positives. The bond will be lovely as you'll have just your little family for a while. You don't have to do things you don't want to with mum friends you don't really like but have been thrown together because you had kids at the same time haha! You won't spend loads on lunch/ coffee out. I know it's crap but nothing can take away from your little baby

Yes it’s shit. I had just gone back to work after my maternity leave so am lucky really but for those in mat leave now it’s rubbish.

With my first I relied so much on meeting friends and being able to get out the house. If I had been stuck in with him 24/7 I really don’t think we would have survived. He was a high needs baby and I really needed the change of scenery.

My 3 year old is ruining mat leave. He should be in nursery. Instead he takes over everything, all the time. Baby getting almost no attention. I hate it.

I don't think anybody's life is panning out the way they imagined it at the moment, tbh.