4 week old baby and wondering if I'm cut out for this

[brightside11]

I’m feeling low today. I keep second guessing my decision to stop breastfeeding, even though it wasn’t really my decision (we started on formula in hospital due to low supply and poor latch, and having a premature baby losing more than 10% of her body weight). Baby is feeding at least every two hours and struggling to settle afterwards due to digestive issues (colic possibly) so I’m very sleep deprived. I’m so behind with the housework and general life admin and I feel completely frazzled. I’m constantly rushing from one thing to the next during every waking moment, yet still not staying on top of anything. Friends and family want to see us and I feel so antisocial too, like I just want them to leave us alone. I feel insecure about how I look as my old jeans still feel too tight and there’s a weird bumpy bit on my stomach below my c-section scar. I’m also anxious and OTT about every little thing when it comes to the baby and it’s making me doubt myself as a mother and wonder if I’m cut out to be a parent. Is this normal and does it get easier?

It is so much harder in this lockdown than it would be normally with a 12/14 week old.

You mentioned you miss yoga, could you arrange for DH to have DD for 2 set 1.5 hour stints, morning and evening, that you use exclusively for yoga practice?

In return he could have the same amount of time to be undisturbed doing whatever he pleases. If you both had some hobby time to look forward to it would ease the strain.

It’s normal and I found 4 weeks the hardest. At the beginning I was so excited and wired to gave the new baby. At 4 weeks I was feeling like things should be starting to kinda go back to normal and then I was stressing because it still felt as new as week 1. For me there was a huge difference in week 5 and 6 when baby begins to interact and also can lie down on a safe surface and not cry instantly! Suddenly things are much easier. Your experience sounds totally normal. You’re a great mum and when baby starts smiling at just you, you’ll probably feel it too!

I never normally comment on things but I just wanted to share my experience in case it could be of any help- I had a lot of the same problems as you did and I think things are starting to settle down. I also couldn't breast feed due to supply issues following blood loss during labour, but it also turned out that my child had a tongue tie that no doctors, midwives or health visitors had noticed, which meant that he was struggling to feed. I eventually swapped to formula but felt terribly guilty about not breast feeding, as I'd felt pressured into it even when he was losing lots of weight. Then he seemed very colicky, and after trying all kinds of infocol/ gripe water etc, we spoke to a helpful doctor who said it could be constipation, even though he was moving his bowels every other day; apparently lots of breastfed babies don't go very often, but bottle fed babies tend to go more frequently, and he was straining constantly- it was really upsetting. were given lactulose to help him with that, and the doctor also suggested trying milk for babies with cow's milk allergy. We were really surprised because he didn't have a rash or anything, but we were given a prescription for SMA Althera and it's made such a difference- no straining any more! We tried to take him off it after the initial trial ended, and he started straining straight away, so there was definitely some kind of intolerance! Sorry for the essay, but it's just to give you some ideas as I felt like a neurotic first time mum, but I had a sympathetic doctor who took me seriously, and didn't just say "he'll grow out of it". It's definitely worth asking for a second GP opinion, maybe even a phone consultation?

PS I also felt guilty about trying a million different formulas but the nice GP said no harm done!