If you could go back and do the fist year again...parenting regret!

[FeeFee382]

If you could go back and do the first year again what would you change?

@katnissk

That's great to hear. I stay home and just miss things when I'm too tired. I did loads of baby groups to start but now I can't be bothered and want to just hang out with him.

I get the guilt that I should be pushing myself to do 4/5 groups a week and always be out the house. But I do really enjoy being with him and chilling at home. First time in my life where I don't need to get showered at 6am and put a suit on and get the tube!!!

Just be nicer to myself. Stuff like if you enjoy hanging out with the baby at home just do it. It's only when you don't enjoy it but you get stuck in that comfortable misery inside that it's a problem.

I wish I could have not thought about who was judging me about what all the time too (and in fact spent less time on mumsnet hearing about it tbh)

@theplantsitter defo. I meet my NCT group once a week and do lots of lunches here and there! (At least twice a week).

Maybe I feel I could do more... do you think less classes will affect him?

Maybe I feel I could do more... do you think less classes will affect him?

Really, truly, 100%, absolutely NO.

You need to engage with him. Plenty of eye contact, talking, all that. I'm sure you do it. Otherwise activities and groups are for the parents only at 6 months old - and that's great if they need/like it, but if you don't, don't do it!

@FeeFee382

We are really rubbish at eating vegetables and we have some appalling food habits that I really don't want her to pick up. I worry that I've set up her up for a lifetime of hating vegetables by not introducing them properly when she was small and her tastes were still forming.

If I didn't work part time I would never leave my house. I don't enjoy getting ready to go out and where I live isn't particularly nice. I also don't drive so that rules out all the nice places near me. I wish I was one of those people that liked to go for walks.

@ThePlantsitter of course. I wonder how much of this I should do as it's impossible to do ALL day long!

Oh yes, I didn't mean to make you think you weren't doing enough. I'm sure you are. It's just normal interaction with a baby, isn't it? I mean they are human beings, they don't have to be treated as the centre of attention ALL THE TIME, even at 6 months!

Just go easy on yourself. Do what you want. It was more of a 'of course don't neglect your child' disclaimer but I'm sure you don't!!

Getting back into my gym routine quicker .

Buy less stuff that other people recommended and work it out myself!

Spend more time doing 'nothing' and cuddling my baby - I was very keen to get up and out of the house.

Cosleep from the start. Eat fewer flapjacks. I weigh more now than when I gave birth!

@theplantsitter very true! I'm such an anxious parent - am I giving him enough attention / am I overstimulating!

The people who are saying co-sleep from the start, can I ask why is that? We've started to co-sleep (out of necessity) and I'm panicking that she'll be in our bed until she's 18 and that I'm letting her down by not teaching her to self-settle.
Mine would probably be exactly that, stop second-guessing everything and trying to fix things. I need to learn that there's not always a logical explanation/solution and just go with it.

Honestly I don't think I would have done anything that differently. Not saying the first years of my DCs lives were easy, not at all, but I mostly dealt with things the best I could under the circumstances.

I wouldn't want to go back and do it again - I hated it, especially with my second! We coped, we survived and it's now a distant memory. My dc are lovely, happy and confident now and I don't think that they're in any way damaged by anything I did or didn't do in their early years.

I'd pay more attention to the advice older people gave me and less to advice from my friends who were only a few years ahead. The more recent mums seemed determined that I should be utterly miserable through sleeplessness (it was bad - but competing about it made it worse not better). Also, they were all about spending money, buying the perfect pram / clothes and going places, garden centres, zoos, farms, out for coffee etc.

Older people said it's hard, so don't make it harder for yourself by doing too much. There's no need to dress a newborn in "outfits", sleep suits are comfortable and easy to change/wash. Babies want your time and attention rather than expensive toys or trips. They also gave better advice about realistic expectations of labour.

@BeyonceKnows im with you here, we partially coslept through the most recent sleep regression (ie stuck it out til 3am and then gave in and brought her in with us so we could get a little bit more sleep) and it was not at all pleasant, i do not like having her in my bed AT ALL and i was terrified we were teaching her to need us right there at night

Lots of co-sleepers on here!

I love it but always scared I might squish him!!!

Be stricter with visitors - my eldest is 13 now but visitors were relentless - Dhs friend from work and her husband came round twice in the first week and expected a meal, in laws were there the whole of our first weekend home , everyone expected us to travel round the whole extended family at Christmas etc etc

Dd was quite a bad sleeper, I think in hindsight I would have cuddled her even more & had her in our bed even more, used the sling even more. I was however extremely tired so rational thinking didn't happen much.

Why co-sleeping? Because it's so easy. Baby sleeps. You sleep. Baby wakes for food. You barely notice.
Mine did largely settle themselves during the day for naps though so I didn't have a huge issue transitioning them away from co-sleeping when they were about a year old.

To stop listening to people's "helpful" advice.

Google does not have the answer all the time.

To trust my instincts from the get go.

To filter out the judgemental bull shit.

To of persevered with self settling.

I wish I knew my breast milk went sour once frozen as I pumped off a whole freezer drawer.

I would have put my daughter on a bottle of formula once a day to give me a break.

Would have learnt to swaddle properly when newborn.

To have used a Moses basket to begin with not a Next to me crib.

To not eat so much cake.

Saying all this I love my baby, breastfeeding and our first year together.

I always found I didn't move when dd was in bed with us

I always found I didn't move when dd was in bed with us

That's the problem for me - my mum instincts keep me permanently still, and in the morning my shitty joints are in absolute agony. I have to shift around in the night or i can barely walk the next day

Stop worrying and stressing about everything.

Know that things get better and more fun as they get older.

Don't compare them to other babies re milestones, sleep (or lack of!), weaning, etc.

Don't compare self to other mums.

Take good care of self too, don't stop doing all the things that were once part of daily routine.

Would like to add to co-sleeoing from the start. I spent the first 3 months in an exhausted state of misery. Started co-sleeoing and it changed my life!